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I think i messed up
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=21371		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Lumpy [ Mon May 05, 2008 2:12 pm ]
Post subject:  I think i messed up
A while ago i went to this formal school ball thing and at the end of the night i spotted this girl across the table from me looking bored (she was also quite hot) so i called her over and started gaming her, all my friends were around me (majority girls all teasing me and stuff) so i had a ton of social proof, anyway i was dragged home after about 5 mins of gaming, so i grabbed her email and left (bad move). I had no way of properly contacting her so i emailed her my number and forgot about her.

A few months later i get a text from her wanting to meet up and after a couple of weeks of kinda flirty texting she comes to see a film with me and some friends (this is yesterday). In the film i was sure i was getting iois, she kept touching her hair, we would be in rapport, her legs would be pointing at me, but he head was too far away for me to do anything (maybe im rationalising, i dont know) but after the film my friends her and i are walking about and talking and she seems disinterested.

Last night i called her and it was really awkward cos she had friends there and so she wasnt really talking so i said we would talk another time and hung up. She didnt seem to want to talk though

Today i texted her inviting her to this school caberet thing which is really good, but she says she is going to a bunch of parties that day cos its her last day at the school before exams.

Should i bother pursuing or should i just leave it?
Author:  c_n12 [ Mon May 05, 2008 6:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
A few things about that based on what you wrote.

Although your initial game was succesful, the problem was that when you got into the theatre with her she was giving you value (IOIs) and expressing genuine interest in you. If your head was too far away you could have tried things such as hand holding or touching legs to initiate kino.

She was upset because you didn't reciprocate by giving her value in return and even worse expressed more interest in her friends and left her feeling neglected and ignored; now she is ignoring you.

As much as women love to play games with men, when they are interested in a guy it is his job to reward her intrest by giving her value and interest as well.

You came off as slightly needy by calling and telling her you'd talk another time then texted her back today chasing her down; if she was really interested she would have invited you to a party with her.

What you need to do is show her you still care about her without coming off as needy or just drop her and find someone else - your choice. As your signature says, "3.3 billion to go" obviously there is always a hotter girl out there and It really depends on how much you like her as a person and if she is easily emotionally replaceable.

- Chris 8)
Author:  Lumpy [ Mon May 05, 2008 7:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
thats really good thanks.

How would i go about showing her that i still care but without seeming needy, at the moment i am finding it very hard to meet new girls due to the fact i cant get into bars and that i go to an all boys school so i dont want to loose this one, and i do quite like her
Author:  Okiokdan [ Mon May 05, 2008 8:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
That's a tricky situation dude. I would wait a few days and call her, tell her something like "Listen, we've gotten on bad start", "We still didn't got to know each other". Tell her you're doing w/e some shit (alone! but don't tell her that ;) ) and she should tag along. Go to the mall for example!

But its important you don't talk to her for a couple of days!

Good luck mate!
Author:  c_n12 [ Mon May 05, 2008 8:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
I totally understand man. You might want to give it a couple of days first as Okiokdan said to see if she moves back on you once her emotions shift. Remember to be somewhat indifferent to her - invest emotion but don't overdo it and appear like you are trying to accomplish anything.

Don't get me wrong about going after one girl you really like; I'm one of the few pick-up experts who advocates one-itis; not in an unhealthy way of AFC obsession but of sharing an emotional attachment with a particular woman and trying to save a relationship. You want to be VERY careful about how you approach this however or you could come off as another AFC.

One of the primary concepts I push on my students is that actions speak louder than words - If you hadn't called her back twice after the movies (don't worry I've made the same mistake more times than I care to remember) I would recommend sending or getting her a gift to show her you care but after the calls that might seem needy to her. It's the same thing abusive guys do (don't get any ideas lol) after they beat their girlfriends and then give them gifts to apologize then repeat the cycle to make the girl feel comforted.

One thing that comes to mind is the fact that girls love to know that guys listen to them and care about them. I'm sure you've seen a situation where the girl was extrememly angry at a man and the man pulls out something that shows he has been listening to her and appreciating her interests as a person. If you're going to do something to spark attraction again - what does she like and how can you play that to your advantage?

I've been in similar situations and pulled out wild things like bowling, mini-golf or walks on the beach I know it sounds AFCish but when done the right way it can completely do a 360 to an on the fence or borderline unintrested girl.

- Chris 8)
Author:  Hot Steppin' Peacock [ Mon May 05, 2008 10:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
Good advice there guys :D
Author:  c_n12 [ Mon May 05, 2008 10:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks Hot Steppin' Peacock. I like the nickname very original!

- Chris 8)
Author:  Ivanilgrande [ Tue May 06, 2008 3:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I think i messed up
Quote:
Should i bother pursuing or should i just leave it?
There's also another possibility.
Whch is in the middle:
You can continue to game her AVOIDING SEEKING RAPPORT AND AVOIDING ANY "PURSUING" CONCEPT.
How to do it ?
1- Start to game also other girls, many girls, much more girls.
2- start giving her the occasion to be she who is gaming you, not the contrary. For instance texting "hooks" like "do you have a twin?" and so on...
Author:  Lumpy [ Tue May 06, 2008 4:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
There's also another possibility.
Whch is in the middle:
You can continue to game her AVOIDING SEEKING RAPPORT AND AVOIDING ANY "PURSUING" CONCEPT.
How to do it ?
1- Start to game also other girls, many girls, much more girls.
2- start giving her the occasion to be she who is gaming you, not the contrary. For instance texting "hooks" like "do you have a twin?" and so on...
that is good, but as i mentioned earlier, at this point in my life it is hard to meet new girls, however hard i try i have already gamed all my friends friends, so i dont particularly want to lose this one, even though i am not that attached
Author:  Ivanilgrande [ Tue May 06, 2008 5:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
It's your life and you know better than me what you'd like in your life.
In any case all of mine are just suggestions written from my point of view.
Please help me understand better your point of view: how old are you to use that terrible phrase "at this point of my life"?
Even if you go for 40, you can in any case approach at minimum 20 girls every week going out only two days per week: many friends of mine are doing it... this is ABUNDANCE mentality...
Author:  Lumpy [ Tue May 06, 2008 5:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
I am 16. So too young to go into clubs and bars and I go to an all boys school. I think day game is an option, but quite often there are a lack of decent quality sets in town.
Author:  Ivanilgrande [ Tue May 06, 2008 5:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
oh... wow... you'll soon become a master PUA in this case !!!
How lucky are you... having discovered so young this methods...
ok ok... I admit it... I'm a little bit envy now... :lol: :oops: :cry: :roll: :wink: :lol:
Author:  Lumpy [ Tue May 06, 2008 5:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ha thanks, yeah, if i can get over the fact that my friends who dont know about sarging are always telling me that i am doing things wrong, and also if i can just learn to disregard stupid social convention and do things the way they are meant to be done lol.
Author:  Ivanilgrande [ Tue May 06, 2008 5:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
recognizing the problem mean you are half way through the solution... :wink:
Author:  Lumpy [ Thu May 15, 2008 8:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Update:

Last friday i was at the caberet thing that i mentioned earlier, and i texted her saying that her parties had better be awesome cos she was really missing out by not being at the caberet. She didnt reply to this so i took this as a big IOD and decided to forget about her.

Just now i got back from seeing a film called speed racer. I dont know why i went to see it cos it is like a children's film. Anyway, we were joking about it when i saw the film with her before and so i texted her saying it was actually awesome and she was wrong.

Now we are texting again, so i think things might be working out. Well, i say texting again, we had a conversation and she said she had to go cos scrubs was on, i dont know if she will text again without me texting her first.
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