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Day 2 bomb - tell me where I screwed up
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=19934		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Carlos [ Sat Apr 05, 2008 5:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Day 2 bomb - tell me where I screwed up
Alright, so I'll just post everything and let you guys tell me what I did wrong. I've acted VERY AFC, so I'm just going to post it all for you to pick apart.

Background: 3 months ago, I get saddled with a Taiwanese girl (Xu) for a group project at university. I message her on facebook, she adds me as a friend, and when we're talking on msn she mentions that she thinks it's very cool that I have a girlfriend and that she "respects that." She was really giving signals that she was into me.

I reply that I don't really know what to say, I think she's a really nice girl, but I'm with my girlfriend. Xu sends a big message saying I must misunderstand, she's not attracted to me. My thoughts: "she's covering her tracks so she doesn't look like a tool."

Present day: I break up with my girlfriend. Within 1 week of my facebook status going to single, Xu messages me. She keeps on mentioning how cool, smart, cute, and funny I am (often in the same sentence). She asks for my number (what the hell? Now I'm getting number closed).
She starts texting me, lots of : P and ; ) emoticons. She wants to hang out. I suggest a movie at my place. It doesn't happen that night (she has to study for an exam, and asks for help, I give an excuse), but yesterday...
Text Messages:
Xu: Hey, What r u doing tonight
Me: Well I work til 8:30, but after that I'm free. What about you?
Xu: Hum, ok. Mind give me a call when u free? ;-)
Me: I might call ;-P
Xu: Awww, you might :-( . Ok, i will be waiting ur call :p
Xu: By the way, nice haircut, u look good today :P
Me: Haha, thanks

She raincheques when I call her at 8, as she's out with friends, but she calls me back at 10. I pick her up, we lay down on my bed to watch a movie (the transporter) on my laptop.

We spend a lot of time talking, I'm doing kino but getting no real responses. I show her some pictures online of where I'm from, we talk about ex's, friends, family, hardships, etc. I work in a DHV story about cutting someone from my life as I have a zero tolerance policy. She talks about how I'm funny and cute and that she's very straight-forward, and asks if that's okay. She talks about her abusive ex and how right now she's just looking for friends, people she can relax with. She says she feels relaxed around me. She says she hates how Canadians like one night stands. She plays with her hair. I play with her hair, give her a one handed neck massage.

We go for coffee. She's told me she's never driven before, and want to be a racer. On the way home I stop in a parking lot (it's 12 by now), and let her drive. She is ecstatic. As we're getting out to change seats she jumps up and hugs me. I pick her up and spin her around. I go in for the kiss. DENIED. She backs away so that I can't, then pinches my nose. I laugh, and we get in the car.

She's kind of awkward after that. She feels the need to tell me repeatedly how many girls I could get and that she likes me but... I tell her that I'm interested in her. I tell her that I've had friends who I just cuddle with during a movie, and that's it. She tells me that trying to kiss her because I find her interesting is "lame." I tell her she must misunderstand me. We finish the movie and I drive her home. She asks me if we're still friends. "of course."

SUMMARY: Taiwanese girl puts out all the ioi's, but ends with LJBFing Carlos.

Also, if you know anything particular about Asian girls (chinese in particular), let me know. I'm heading over there for a month and need to know what differences they have from north american girls.
Author:  Okiokdan [ Sat Apr 05, 2008 6:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Day 2 bomb - tell me where I screwed up
Quote:
Alright, so I'll just post everything and let you guys tell me what I did wrong. I've acted VERY AFC, so I'm just going to post it all for you to pick apart.

Background: 3 months ago, I get saddled with a Taiwanese girl (Xu) for a group project at university. I message her on facebook, she adds me as a friend, and when we're talking on msn she mentions that she thinks it's very cool that I have a girlfriend and that she "respects that." She was really giving signals that she was into me.

I reply that I don't really know what to say, I think she's a really nice girl, but I'm with my girlfriend. Xu sends a big message saying I must misunderstand, she's not attracted to me. My thoughts: "she's covering her tracks so she doesn't look like a tool."

Present day: I break up with my girlfriend. Within 1 week of my facebook status going to single, Xu messages me. She keeps on mentioning how cool, smart, cute, and funny I am (often in the same sentence). She asks for my number (what the hell? Now I'm getting number closed).
She starts texting me, lots of : P and ; ) emoticons. She wants to hang out. I suggest a movie at my place. It doesn't happen that night (she has to study for an exam, and asks for help, I give an excuse), but yesterday...
Text Messages:
Xu: Hey, What r u doing tonight
Me: Well I work til 8:30, but after that I'm free. What about you?
Xu: Hum, ok. Mind give me a call when u free? ;-)
Me: I might call ;-P
Xu: Awww, you might :-( . Ok, i will be waiting ur call :p
Xu: By the way, nice haircut, u look good today :P
Me: Haha, thanks

She raincheques when I call her at 8, as she's out with friends, but she calls me back at 10. I pick her up, we lay down on my bed to watch a movie (the transporter) on my laptop.

We spend a lot of time talking, I'm doing kino but getting no real responses. I show her some pictures online of where I'm from, we talk about ex's, friends, family, hardships, etc. I work in a DHV story about cutting someone from my life as I have a zero tolerance policy. She talks about how I'm funny and cute and that she's very straight-forward, and asks if that's okay. She talks about her abusive ex and how right now she's just looking for friends, people she can relax with. She says she feels relaxed around me. She says she hates how Canadians like one night stands. She plays with her hair. I play with her hair, give her a one handed neck massage.

We go for coffee. She's told me she's never driven before, and want to be a racer. On the way home I stop in a parking lot (it's 12 by now), and let her drive. She is ecstatic. As we're getting out to change seats she jumps up and hugs me. I pick her up and spin her around. I go in for the kiss. DENIED. She backs away so that I can't, then pinches my nose. I laugh, and we get in the car.

She's kind of awkward after that. She feels the need to tell me repeatedly how many girls I could get and that she likes me but... I tell her that I'm interested in her. I tell her that I've had friends who I just cuddle with during a movie, and that's it. She tells me that trying to kiss her because I find her interesting is "lame." I tell her she must misunderstand me. We finish the movie and I drive her home. She asks me if we're still friends. "of course."

SUMMARY: Taiwanese girl puts out all the ioi's, but ends with LJBFing Carlos.

Also, if you know anything particular about Asian girls (chinese in particular), let me know. I'm heading over there for a month and need to know what differences they have from north american girls.
Telling where you screwed up... Well you've said it yourself; YOU ACTED LIKE A WUSS!

She liked you but you fucked by:

1#: Saying you're interested in her. Mystery method teaches the opposite way. You were chasing her! It should be the other way around. Use disqualifiers etc etc.

#2: Talking about ex's? Imo NEVER do that! If my current girlfriend talked about her ex's when I was in A2,3,C1/2/3, that would have definately killed my attraction for her. Later on (relationship) you can have little talks about that topic, but in attraction fase? Hell no! If I would have talked about that topic back then, she wouldn't even be my gf right now that's for sure. DON'T DO THAT!

#3: Kiss her asap. Kino, kino, kino! If she doesn't respond to that, do a freeze out. Don't touch her for some time, she will get uncomfortable by it but for sure she wants your hugs and w/e you did back and thus feeling comfortable again.

#4: "She talks about her abusive ex and how right now she's just looking for friends" Dude, how long have you known this girl? You're not her freaking boyfriend, cut the bullshit, you don't wanna hear this stuff. Bad for her, but you're not her "best-I-can-share-you-all-my-emotions-friend".

Some other points. You let her drive your car? Tease the shit out of her. You wanted to let her drive your car, but 2nd thoughts told you she could smash your freaking car. She will beg you to let her drive.

You're too much of a "nice guy". Don't worry, woman can handle teasing, negging, etc.

Good luck, I hope other people have thoughts on this aswell! We're all here to learn.
Author:  Carlos [ Mon Apr 07, 2008 5:58 am ]
Post subject: 
asian girls can't take teasing though. They don't understand sarcasm. The literally don't have it in their culture. I suppose there's other ways to tease that I just don't employ though.
Author:  d mid [ Mon Apr 14, 2008 6:40 am ]
Post subject: 
you have to tease her man, who gives a fuck what race she is, she understands humor and if not, then it's your delivery, give her a hard time, let her work for your attention, make her qualify herself, remember YOU are the prize, not her. Don't let her dump all her problems she has on her mind about her EX. The next time she starts talking about her drama be like "Look woman, you already owe me a few hundred bucks for the last I listened to blab for an hour.." and DHV, Stay ALPHA!
Author:  Killians [ Mon Apr 14, 2008 5:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
I agree with Okiokdan
Quote:
asian girls can't take teasing though. They don't understand sarcasm. The literally don't have it in their culture. I suppose there's other ways to tease that I just don't employ though.
That is true. However, if she has been "Americanized" she can take it. She seemed more aggressive which is unlike women in Asian cultures. You should have teased her to see her reaction. Then act accordingly.
Author:  Sans [ Tue Apr 15, 2008 7:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
you are so far in the gayzone! i don't have words for it.
Talking about those things etc. don't wanna hear them as Okiokdan said;)
you're acting all to AFC on her i think;)
Author:  escaleraroyal [ Wed Feb 26, 2014 7:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Day 2 bomb - tell me where I screwed up
"She asks me if we're still friends" means. Let's not meet again

You cannot salvage this one. When they say this sentence you are over.
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