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First Date with a Cute Feminist ( a little help please)
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Author:  `Feather [ Tue Sep 09, 2014 11:24 am ]
Post subject:  First Date with a Cute Feminist ( a little help please)
Hey
(the story isnt that long, i just space stuff out a lot. but if you wanna skip it just read after the black line and give me your opinion)

So i met this girl (18 years old, pretty cute) on the bus to my uni, we started talking and she ended up asking me for my facebook just before she had to get off.

While we were talking on the bus she mentioned that shes fine with going out to coffee with people...as long as they pay. I told her she would be paying for me if we go out since shes a gold digger.

after i get home i send her a message "you wanna grab a coffee when you have some free time despite the fact that im not paying?"

she laughed and said yes.

so everything goes smoothly afterwards, she doesnt flake or anything. we met up for coffee, got our orders and started talking.

I made sure my game was good, eye contact, smile, cheeky humour, she mentions shes a feminist and we talk about rape whistles and stuff for a while

after about 2 hours at the cafe we decide to walk around the shopping centre, we had fun just messing around and a couple of times i briefly held her which she liked.

afterwards we catch the same bus, and i ask her to go ice skating with me sometime.

she DECLINES and says shes afraid she might break her jaw or something because shes never been ice skating before...that sounded like a bullshit excuse so i give her the cold shoulder for a bit ( a bit of push and pull)

It was my stop and i think she wanted to give me a hug but i gave her a friendly nudge and said "ill see you later"
she said it felt awkward

_____________________blackline_______________________________________________________________


so except for the end we had a pretty fun 4 hours together.
I invited her to a party later on the same day but she declined and said she had assignments to do
2 days later i ask her how her weekend was- no response
3 days later i say "hey friday was fun. You free to do something els this week?"
no response...

i cant figure out what went wrong, we had a good time
should i keep contacting her?
should i ask why shes not responding?
what would you do?
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Tue Sep 09, 2014 12:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First Date with a Cute Feminist ( a little help please)
Well, rape whistles aren't exactly prime date conversation... That could be one thing ;)

Just giving you a hard time, mate...

Seriously - sounds like it went 'just OK' and she may not be feeling it with you. Declined your invites twice and isn't responding to texts... You may want to stand back and re-read the paragraph you're reading right now... because:

I don't think she's interested.

Always kiss-close, if you're interested in seeing her again.
Author:  `Feather [ Tue Sep 09, 2014 1:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First Date with a Cute Feminist ( a little help please)
that would make sense if she wasnt giving IOI's every few minutes like a crazy person.

no awkward silences, no cold shoulders, no signs that she didnt like me.

it was so casual that she didnt even know it was a date

which lets me ask another question: when you ask a girl on a date do you actually use the word "date"?

"hey lets grab a coffee"
or
"hey lets go on a date and grab some coffee"

because the girls i go out on dates dont even know its a date....even though its obvious to guys
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Tue Sep 09, 2014 1:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First Date with a Cute Feminist ( a little help please)
Quote:
which lets me ask another question: when you ask a girl on a date do you actually use the word "date"?
NO. Never use the word date.

Just make it casual - but ESCALATE once you're there... It'll become very evident you're on a date, if you're doing it right.
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Tue Sep 09, 2014 1:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First Date with a Cute Feminist ( a little help please)
Quote:
that would make sense if she wasnt giving IOI's every few minutes like a crazy person.

no awkward silences, no cold shoulders, no signs that she didnt like me.

it was so casual that she didnt even know it was a date
Exactly. You didn't escalate at all. You didn't touch her or anything. A shoulder jab was your 'goodbye'... That's not romantic. That's not what you do on dates.

Why wouldn't you take those IOIs (if you're SO sure she's into you) and kiss her, then?

She'd have gotten the message pretty quickly that you were on a date if you did that.
Author:  Vandal PUA [ Tue Sep 09, 2014 6:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First Date with a Cute Feminist ( a little help please)
Charles really gives some solid advice here. The positives were that you nailed the opening and you know how to flirt in the beginning. These are things you won't have to work too much on.

The issue is that midgame and escalation are a whole different animal. Because I'm new to PUA, I'm having the same problems. I guess the way to look at it is if you don't escalate you won't see her again, so what's the worst that could happen if you DO escalate?

It's not entirely your fault mate. I kinda feel like a dick when I get no response back, but that's the way women are.

Who knows, maybe she'll text you later (Although it's unlikely). Just use this experience to learn and improve.

Good luck!
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