I’m in a place of despair, I’m 33 (though look about 25) of normal looks. I run my own mail order company and about to start a restaurant. I seem to be great at making friends with people, but terrible at getting the opposite sex attracted where I live. I’ve had 3 girlfriends and had sex with 5 girls, I am not coming from ‘virgin’ territory, I’ve been single since I was 28, and although I’m better looking and have the PUA education now, I’m doing worse than ever.
I live in Portsmouth which is where my despairing situations seem to be based.
I started studying PUA back in May 2013. My friend who’s a PUA in London suggested reading Models by Mark Manson, about the natural approach, this seems less aggressive than RSD and more suited to me. It certainly gave me good input on improving conversational skills for dates, and managed get a second date with a girl I really liked, but nothing else.
My friend then recommended watching the RSD Blueprint 20 DVD series which I did. I learned a lot of comical / more high energy ways to interact with women which really didn’t work for me in the nightclubs and bars of Portsmouth. Just got a range of odd looks and the girls’ friends grabbing them away from me (although this has happened even when asking foreign girls where they’re from). What I came away from RSD benefiting from was the understanding of state which I get from putting myself into social interaction mode now by talking to pretty bar staff etc, and again I’m great at making friends so the bar staff enjoy talking to me at all our local hangouts.
After watching RSD, reading Models, I was still getting no real success apart from one phone number close and one group approach to some Czech/Slovak girls (this one from just asking if we could join their spare table through circumstance – ended up at a club and I stupidly turned down sex as my friend liked her).
So all this is about 9 months after starting PUA. Not even a kiss yet apart from that date.
In March this year I contacted Ali who works with Kezia Noble about doing day game, he simplified PUA, building up social confidence by street approaching asking directions, then more awkward interactions, then 2 hours later I was approaching attractive women in the street. I approached 3 girls, who were 10/10s, I made a compliment, made them laugh, talked about our lives, then number closed, all in 5 min sets (bar 1 which I stupidly walked away from, rarely but sometimes I make stupid decisions!). I left that day feeling liberated. I was feeling so confident, talking to girls on the tube, who in the morning when arriving I could barely look in the eyes, as I only seem to usually get confident at night when getting into state in Portsmouth.
I still only do night game. But have trained for night with RSD and Models. Plus Ali has been of great help with internet advise on this.
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When I came back from London doing daygame to Portsmouth my friends were curious to see my new powers. Sadly since coming back here, there’s been nearly nothing but rejection and rudeness by women. I’ve studied so much now, and when I watch RSD, Kezia Noble, re-read Models, speak to Ali and my other PUA friend there’s nothing I’m doing wrong. Infact I see infield footage of people successfully closing at night and doing it worse in my opinion. There’s things I’m not doing like calling women sluts and asking “who the fuck are you?” as my approach, but I guess that’s just because I don’t find it acceptable.
The only success in Portsmouth apart from a couple of number closures, has been a girl pulling me in a nightclub.
I’ve taken so much shit, it’s left me depressed, and almost hating women. I’ve had girls laugh, mimic me, pretend to go for a smoke then walk out the venue, been snubbed. Girls in my town seem to favour obvious hipsters, chavs and bar tenders. I sound bitter, but I really go out every week with a new enthusiastic approach.
My approach is:
Open with “I thought you were pretty, add a specific compliment about their looks”,
Introduce myself.
Guess at what they do.
Get a light hearted vibe conversation going, a few teases, humor based observations.
Try and escalate with a more sexual compliment if I think she’s not too timid.
Always close.
BUT often I don’t get the chance beyond step 2.
In between this time in May I went to Brighton for a music festival, night 1 I got 2 19 year old girls back to ours for drinks within 20 mins, and slept with 1, night 2 I joked around with a group of 20 something girls, and got them following me around the bar asking what I was doing later, night 3 I met a Zimbabwean doctor who became obsessed about meeting me in Portsmouth, and the same night number closed on a 19 year old hippie, and was bantering successfully a Latvian baseball girl. So Brighton and London have shown I can be successful with good looking women.
So what is it, to me it must be Portsmouth? Has anyone else been to my town and what experiences have you had?
I understand the mentality of being excited away from home. But I am not sulking when out.
Supposedly my PUA friend was in 100s of lays here, and as has one other friend of a friend who read The Game. But I’ve seen no evidence of improvement here.
SORRY IT’S A REAL LONG READ! AND APPRECIATE ANY FEEDBACK, WOULD WELCOME ANY LOCAL MEETS WITH FELLOW MEMBERS.
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I have pretty strong social connections as I'm involved in a local record store, and tend to know most DJs and bar staff here.