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Help me Build Confidence
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Author:  cam71101 [ Mon Jul 04, 2011 6:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Help me Build Confidence
Hello everyone,

This is my first post on the pua forum so be nice...
I've been reading posts on the forum for the past month now and although I disagree with the beliefs by some of the members, I do feel that it's great for helping men improve their lives for the better.

Let me introduce myself. I'm 23 years old living in the UK in a town near London. I do have a gf and we've been dating exclusively for about 6 months now, and to be perfectly honest it's going really well - except for a few small arguments here and there. She's probably a HB5 but she's intelligent, funny, dresses really well, has great boobs and I love spending time with her - so I couldn't really fuck what other people think.

The reason why I've joined the PUA Community is not because I want to cheat on my gf but because I want to improve my confidence and my social abilities. I'm also terrified of becoming an AFC and getting to the point where my gf is my life.

I finished a degree last year and during my stay at university, I slept with 4 different girls. So it's not like I can't talk to women but with these few instances where I have got laid, the woman have chatted me up more than anything - which is terrific because I know I'm not ugly. However, I am not the quickest nor the wittiest, which I think is the problem. I know I'm a OK looking guy but I sometimes feel very stupid and I think I lack confidence with my brain rather than my looks. I am what you would call 'dopey' or 'clumsy'.

I was hoping that someone could point me in the direction of a program or training system that would help improve my confidence and social awareness. I was thinking of trying Style's "The Rules of the Game" - does anyone have any other suggestions?

One of my friends is someone that I idolise when it comes to relationships. He is a natural PUA. He is currently in a LTR but whenever we go out clubbing, he is always flirting with random women and usually gets to the point where they want to make out. He then explains that he is in a relationship and takes it no further. I WANT TO BE LIKE THAT.

I want to be the guy that people look to when a decision needs to be made. I want to be the guy that is fun to be around with and says the right things at the right time. I want my gf to look to me when she wants advice or needs someone she can trust. I just feel that my intelligence might be holding me back to be that character.

Any thought/suggestions are greatly appreciated.
Author:  Black Phantom [ Mon Jul 18, 2011 10:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
I can help you with your confidence. Write on personal if you're interested.
Author:  xiaolinpua [ Wed Jul 20, 2011 8:43 am ]
Post subject: 
Hey man, Your New! All of the guys in the community have a couple of base areas in thier life that they want to improve on and one popular area is confidence; were all in this boat together. One way I improved my life was by making a list of different things I wanted to get better at or learn from scratch, when you start building these skills you naturally find some more confidence because your making yourself a better person and your doing it through a way you enjoy. Try to start out with around an hour a day switching up different things you want to do to see what you really like ( mayby work on improving your quick thinking, ask Google). Keep in mind there is still plenty of work to go from kiss close to full close so your friend might not be as good as you want to make yourself, definately a good start though! ( try to be better than the very best in thier field). Good Luck!
Author:  jimpartUSA [ Wed Jul 20, 2011 2:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Help me Build Confidence
Quote:
Hello everyone,
I want to be the guy that people look to when a decision needs to be made. I want to be the guy that is fun to be around with and says the right things at the right time. I want my gf to look to me when she wants advice or needs someone she can trust. I just feel that my intelligence might be holding me back to be that character.
Any thought/suggestions are greatly appreciated.
I'm new here also and from the U.K (shakeshand) maybe we can help each other in the future. Anyway that quote up there, from you? yeah, write it down somewhere, if you don't have the initiative to write it down... Write it down in your memory or bookmark this page.

So you want to be the guy that is fun to be around and says the right things? Before going places stop creating canned routines and other shit because that will make you worse. You'll have them in your head but wont say them because of your current confidence levels, am i right? Instead create your canned phrases in your head for the current situation and the second they make sense in your head... Say them, don't hesitate.

your girlfriend? She probably already looks for you when she needs advice, but upon the situation arising always tell her your here if she needs someone to talk to. This will eliminate her feeling that shes being needy or annoying.

Finally, Go on Youtube and type in ''best quote out there from scrubs''. Its the first video about a minute long.

P.S no i do not fucking watch scrubs what do you take me for? but its very inspirational and may help you on your goal.
Author:  SandN!gger [ Wed Jul 20, 2011 5:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Look dude you gotta crawl before you walk. Here's some shit you can do to train.

Intentionally get shut down by at least 10 girls a day. Be rude arrogant but funny.
You will need to learn that it doesn't matter.

See the key is not thinking before you talk. Just say what's on your mind and after a few months if you do it every day your mind will get wittier in situations where you used to feel pressure.

If you want to be the alpha top dog you gotta speak up! You also must shut your competition down. Remember that your smarter than everyone else if you want to be. So get used to taking charge more.
If your with a group then you pick where to go and what to do.
You will constantly have to prove your worth. Getting woman for your friends is key.
Whenever I go out with my buddies I make sure to approach a hot girl and get her to talk to my friend. Always screen for sluts cuz you want your friends getting laid everytime they go out with you.

You will then be the alpha of your group. As for the women, tease the ones you already know and keep them interested in you. You may be taken now but you should still have girls sexually attracted to you. That proves your worth as well.

You need to get into some random fights. Your adrenaline will pump and you'll get the fight or flight feeling at first but if you fight often enough you will become a bad ass and it also will help transition you into a pimp cuz you shouldn't hesitate in anything you do.

Speak your mind man. Right or wrong it doesn't matter. Even when your wrong it doesnt matter when someone is calling you out just say fuck you or whatever comes to mind.

Look if you really need to become a quicker thinker you need to take adderall daily. You will quadrouple in whit and brilliance!

Grab life by the tits and fuck that bitch cuz this world is a giant pussy waiting to get fucked. Learn not to give a shit and you will be free!!
Good luck man
Author:  Closer21 [ Wed Jul 27, 2011 10:23 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
You need to get into some random fights. Your adrenaline will pump and you'll get the fight or flight feeling at first but if you fight often enough you will become a bad ass and it also will help transition you into a pimp cuz you shouldn't hesitate in anything you do.
This is total bullshit. Don't take this advice. Let me explain why: - "You get in a random fight. You get the shit kicked through you. How much more confident do you feel now? Lying down face first on the pavement will surely give you that much needed confidence.."

However, the majority of what people on here has said is fairly solid advice. I've been in the game for quite a while now, and the one key thing that I could say has helped me gain confidence is reading new material, then going out and practicing it. If it's successful = more confident. If it fails = me reading more, revising my strategy, going out again till I do get successful. Bear in mind that everyone has a different approach to gain confidence, and it doesn't happen overnight. Heck, I'd like to be a more confident person than I am now.

One more thing, don't confuse arrogance with confidence. Arrogance is a "fake" way of obtaining confidence, eg: it will make you feel better about yourself, but it's a total turn-off when it comes to the girls. (I'll point out, that every girl is different, and some may like it, but I'm talking about the majority here).

I'm familiar with Style's Rules of the Game, and although I reckon it's kind of lame eg (don't take a shower for one day, and see if anyone notices... wtf??) Hey you could use a laugh and a good time, I enjoyed myself for some of the challenges. Make sure that you do ALL of the exercises if you do go through with it, even the ones where you have to write out paragraphs, because its useful later on.

So yeah, that's about all I have to add. Confidence takes time to achieve, and it's more of a soul-searching kind of thing, rather then someone giving you advice on how to get it. You need to figure it out on your own, because its all in your head. Just got to put the pieces together. I wish you the best of luck.


EDIT: Quote of the day:
Quote:
Grab life by the tits and fuck that bitch cuz this world is a giant pussy waiting to get fucked.
Author:  Lucius. [ Thu Jul 28, 2011 5:19 am ]
Post subject: 
I fuck up all the time, im clumsy, i say stupid shit, i dont feel im unintelligent however, you definitely need to get that belief out of your head. you have your own unique rythm, its different, if you let it bother you, then it will bother other people. If you just accept that you arent mr.supersmoothtJamesBond and just own your own rythm, people will love you for it. You're lucky, you're different, celebrate that shit. If you do, other people will, and all of a sudden you will start to find people gravitating towards you. When i say stupid shit, i just pretend like it was awesome, and i get an awesome reaction because im highlighting i know i just did some stupid shit. its humble, its funny, it comes from true self esteem and love. It might seem counter intuitive, but that is the kind of belief system that will lead to true confidence. On another note, ive been actively practicing and studying "game" for over 7 years, be careful whose advice you take seriously, always be critical. Be willing to die and be reborn a better man but dont lose yourself. That being said I wish you well on your journey.

- Lucius
la vita e bella
Author:  SandN!gger [ Thu Jul 28, 2011 5:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lucius your a pimp. You put that shit well
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