PUA Forum :: Depressed from feeling like shit

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Depressed from feeling like shit https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=91414	Page 1 of 2

Author:	10klvrsin1 [ Wed May 11, 2011 4:44 am ]
Post subject:	Depressed from feeling like shit
So far my whole life has been a huge disappointment. Im 27 years old and have never learned to take control of my life. I grew up being afraid of people. This caused me to have a small social circle, which meant very few friends. The people who I managed to develop a friendship with, either were losers or stopped being friends with me. Being afraid of people caused me to be a loner, which made me feel even more depressed. I would watch as people in school and work enjoyed socializing. When I got to the age were I wanted to date, I had no clue how to even talk to a woman, let alone get a girlfriend. Being afraid of people has had a profoundly negative impact on my life. About 5 years ago I was introduced to the pick-up arts. This changed my belief. I thought this is the answer to my failures with women. I studied it and actually had the courage to try it. I was so proud of myself for attempting. I managed to get with a toxic girlfriend for a while and it totally pushed me into a bigger hole, than what I was in before I met her. Like I said, I am now 27 and have troubles in my life. I am in poor shape financially. I only have one friend. And I feel totally unworthy to approach women. I try to go out sarging as much as I can. I am so afraid to open sets. I went one and a half years without opening a set. Today, I stopped at a college union to see if I could open a set. I seen a set with a HB 9.5. I totally felt unworthy to even open them. I thought mentally, my life has been like shit for so long, why should I even bother. Along with this, there have been countless approach opportunities that I have been afraid to do. My life has been shitty for many years. I have issues in different facets of life. Is there anything you guys could recommend to get my mental health on track?

Author:	thumper858 [ Wed May 11, 2011 4:52 am ]
Post subject:
WOW! Ever play a video game? Ever play a video game and didn't try to beat it? Ever play a video game and actually beat it? That's all this is. You go out, you run game, you lose a life and start again. You're gonna be rejected, it's part of the game. Once you complete a level, then you feel that you've accomplished something. I think you get the analogy. Stop thinking about how bad it will suck to be rejected. Even MPUA's get rejected. It's part of the game. You just continue to play until you get to the next level. As for the friends thing, when you go out and do pickup, start picking up some guy friends too. Game works for anything in life.

Author:	Txacoli [ Wed May 11, 2011 6:15 am ]
Post subject:
I think there is no simple answer for a problem like yours. I can only say what helped me when I was in depression or some sort of a crisis. I think you should try to tackle the way you feel without involving women into the equation. Try to get the sense of self worth from other accomplishments. I know it might be hard since you probably feel you haven't accomplished much, but I'm sure there are some things you did well and you have to acknowledge those even if they're small. The one thing that always helped me push through the hard times in my life were self-help and spirituality books. They just gave me some inspiration to make changes. Make a list of goals, write 10 goals and start taking action. You say your financial situation is bad, make a solid plan to improve it, write it down and take action. There is nothing better than simple action towards a goal to take control over your life. It's always good to analyze your problems and think about the ways to improve yourself and your life, but only action brings the sense of relief and control. Do one thing at a time, make priorities and start taking action even if it's only small steps. Try to sort out your financial situation first, it will give you a great sense of worth and a confidence boost, which will make making friends easier, which will make gaming women easier and so on. I would skip women at first, I think girls can just make things worse sometimes because your head is not where it should be and you should be focused only on you and your long-term health. This is the best advice I can give you, maybe other guys can pitch in their two cents. Good luck mate!

Author:	10klvrsin1 [ Wed May 11, 2011 3:36 pm ]
Post subject:	reply
Thanks for your help I have an incredibly fragile self-esteem. If I push myself and I get totally blown out, how do I recover emotionally from that? I agree with what you say about making small steps. There is just a huge part of me that feels disgusted with myself for not being able to make small steps in the past. My mind tells me, why bother? It is like my whole life has been one huge rut. No matter what I do, I cannot seem to shake out of it. I never had many friends growing up, or a close family relationship. My whole life I have felt isolated and not important. Thanks again

Author:	Txacoli [ Wed May 11, 2011 4:08 pm ]
Post subject:
It's really hard to make that first step. Try to make it even if you have to force yourself, you will feel a little better afterwords. Get angry if necessary, say fuck this, I deserve better! Then go and just do it, don't think about it, just do it! If you get blown out, you can say you tried and try again. Forget about the past. You can't change it. We've all made choices in the past that lead us nowhere, just ask yourself one question: What will my life look like in a year if I make the first step today? What will it look like if I don't? Ok, that's two questions Think how many years you've wasted and didn't do anything. I bet it's more than one, and in just one year your life could change for the better tremendously! You feel disgusted ok, admit you fucked up and now you're taking control. Really admit it to yourself. Then realize you're not the only one and there are people who fucked up a lot more than you did. There are people far worse off than you are. If you make the first step today, your whole life could start changing. Make the list, let it be your first step. It will take you half an hour. Then go out and make it happen becuase you deserve better and you can do it!

Author:	10klvrsin1 [ Thu May 12, 2011 4:55 am ]
Post subject:	reply
Thanks again for your advice I think my depression is even worse than I expected though. I went out again this afternoon with the intent to do some approaches. The depression totally ruined me. I counted 31 opportunities I had to open a set and could not bring myself to open one of them. Then I turn to internet porn to make me feel better. This is a horrible feeling. Ever since I was young, I was diagnosed with severe social anxiety. I thought when I learned about being a pua, that my social phobia would go away. In turn, it has prevented me from living a fulfilling and meaningful life. Social anxiety has caused me depression, which is destroying my life. Occasionally I think, what is the use of living with this depression. I have tried to seek professional help in the past, but they had no clue what was wrong with me. I want so badly to overcome my social anxiety and enjoy beautiful women I know I can get. Is there any material anyone could recommend reading? Thank you

Author:	Txacoli [ Thu May 12, 2011 9:10 am ]
Post subject:
I see your situation as egg and chicken. If you get the girl, you'll feel good, but to get the girl you must first feel good. I really think you should focus on other accomplishments and forget about women for a while. Tackle your financial situation and try to make some friends, get a social life first. As you feel better, start gaming. And quit the internet porn, do it once in one or two weeks. There is a lot of material on social anxiety, google it. I don't know if it'll help, but you can try. Maybe you can try some other things like meditation. There is a lot of good info around the web, just google it. I really wish you the best of luck!

Author:	10klvrsin1 [ Thu May 12, 2011 8:22 pm ]
Post subject:	reply
I have thought long and hard about this over the past day. I have come to the condusion that I have sever social anxiety. It has been a problem for the past 15 years. Learning about game made me think I could overcome it by sarging. The problem is, my social anxiety has prevented me from hardly approaching. I realized that I have extreme fear of people in authority. I have difficulty chatting with anyone, let alone developing a friendship. Expressing myself to people is almost impossible. I act subordinate to people who I percieve to be cooler than me. I have low self-esteem and little confidence. I lost my job due to my fear of authority and not being able to properly communicate. The bad part is I lie to myself, saying I don't have social anxiety. I have to admit that I do. On top of all this, is I am in an engagement with a woman because she is the only woman I feel capable of getting. The fact that she likes me, makes me like her. It is not exactly the best relationship, yet I endure because I believe if I loose her, I will never love again. It's pretty depressing. It makes each day harder and harder to go on with. Not saying I'm suicidal, but the thought of not having to deal with these terrible mental thoughts, doesn't sound too bad. In the mean time, I am going to try to attempt to push myself. thanks

Author:	VoxPotentia [ Fri May 13, 2011 6:09 pm ]
Post subject:
There are several things that instantly come to mind when it comes to happiness and confidence and getting it back quickly. These are crude, but effective and are a quick fix to feeling like shit. A) Pick up some weights and work out. Working out releases Endorphins and is proved to make you feel better. Plus, it's a confidence boost. Not only does it make you feel better, but it makes you more attractive to women. What's not to love? B) Get some cash together. Even if its not much it will still get you a long way in a budget, yet fashionable clothes store. New clothes is a great way to feel better and boost your confidence. Again, a fashionable man is an attractive man. You complain about only having one friend: Find new ones, go out, join clubs and organisations, find them online, find female friends too. Go and talk to people you may not have talked to in years. Build your social circle up. I've been in the same situation as you, and hell I've built myself up from having five friends of the same gender and a few dozen acquaintances, to someone with a few dozen friends of both genders and hundreds of acquaintances and associates. Anything is possible. I know how you must feel. You feel stuck in a rut, like things are never going to get better. I can tell just from the very tone of what you've written that you feel like crap. Read the quote in my signature. Do something today that will make you happier and confident. Go and score that girl, bro. I know you can do it, and I know that you know you can too. Me and everyone else who's been to that dark place are rooting for you.

Author:	Gaius [ Fri May 13, 2011 8:58 pm ]
Post subject:
Kinda know how you feel. I'm getting therapy because I know a neutral third party will help me speed up the process.

Author:	abstraktion [ Sat May 14, 2011 5:31 pm ]
Post subject:
I have very similar issues to you. I'm 26, and I have struggled with social anxiety and low self-worth my whole adult life. It's really ridiculous too, because I've always been well-liked. It's just an internal struggle. All I can say is that taking things one step at a time is the only thing keeping my head on straight. I am working on my finances. I am going to a gym. I am slowly working on my self-confidence and social skills. I have not arrived. I still struggle a lot, but I feel that I get better every day. I do something towards my ultimate goals every day now, and it fulfills me. What I'm trying to convey is that you might simply take the next right step towards what you want. Change won't happen overnight, but it won't happen at all without patient persistence. If you stay focused on the outcome, it will appear so far away and overwhelming - to the point of pushing you into inaction. So yeah, keep your perspective in check. I'm just beginning upon this path myself, but I feel that if I can take the short-view for a while, I'll be amazed at how much I've grown when I look back... I surely hope so . Good luck, man. I'd say do something every day to grow towards who you want to be. Don't beat yourself up too much about the shortcomings. Rather, focus on the progress, however small it may be... The state of mind doing this has created for me is a huge leap forward in and of itself. I'm more confident because I acknowledge that I'm growing.

Author:	Alex Ramones [ Mon May 16, 2011 5:20 am ]
Post subject:
10klvrsin1, I am a student of psychology and at this point in the journey I have learned an incredible way to fix low self-esteem. I like helping people because for me it's practice. I'd like to help you, send me a PM if you'd like to have a SPAM chat. I can improve your self-esteem. I'm not kidding.

Author:	Txacoli [ Mon May 16, 2011 7:53 am ]
Post subject:
Damn Alex, can you help improve mine too? JK But maybe you can share some tips if it's not too much trouble?

Author:	Allahz Apostle [ Mon May 16, 2011 8:33 pm ]
Post subject:
I suggest that you do some meditation on yourself. This means going deep into thought, and trying to figure out what it is that causes you to behave in the way you do. Then when you find the roots of your misery, contemplate means of correcting the situation.

Author:	MaxBrenner [ Mon May 16, 2011 10:19 pm ]
Post subject:
Dude, I would advice you to become busy. I would suggest that you take a sport, whatever you like, biking, running, weights. Go to the local bookstore and get a book or magazine about the one you like best and get started. I have found that while running I spend time thinking about many things that I get straight, and I end up tired and feeling good. Then, find a hobby and if there is a club, join them. You will learn a lot about whatever you're doing, you will meet people that will help you learn stuff and you won't be as lonely. Lastly, maybe you can join a class? languages, for example, and I know that lots of girls study french, for example! These three things will make you busy and will work as therapy (which isn't a bad idea, but takes courage, I think). Lastly, reach for the friends you had. See them, find out what they are doing. I have always thought I have few friends, but I think they are good friends. I don't usually see them as losers or winners. Some have PhDs, some steal beers, some have amazing jobs, some don't have jobs. But there is something I like about each one of them. Dude, being depressed is a process that feeds itself and leads to bad things. Take steps to get out of that routine. When we are depressed we don't feel like doing a thing. You shouldn't see it as something you may like or not, see it as a way to get out of that depression. Consciously make an effort to fill your days with as many activities as possible during a long time, and you will see that everything will start improving. Very slowly in the beginning, but you have to move in the right direction. You are young, but I well know that when we are depressed we don't feel young at any age. I once was very depressed around seventeen, and I thought my days of youth were almost gone! Use the forum for advice and try to use our advice. We are not experts by any means, but our intentions are good. Good luck!

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