PUA Forum
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/

No idea how to become a better person.
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=89519		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Ap [ Mon Apr 11, 2011 2:21 pm ]
Post subject:  No idea how to become a better person.
Where to start!
I've been on this form a long time now and it's mostly been about my ex and the girl I am seeing now. I realised that It's nearly all my fault for the mistakes I've made during my life. I am 20 years old no job no will to do anything but sit on my computer and post how much I am fucking up my relationship with my girlfriend I've had allot of help with relationships but I've never asked for help for me. For the pat month I've been having deep depressing thoughts of where my life is going and for the first time I am terrified of where I will end up in the next couple of years I guess I've been to stubborn to ask for help or realise I need help until now.

If I'm honest I do need to see someone but I thought I'd ask in here I'm sure one or two of you have been in my situation before I am in a dark place and have no way to find the light there are a few things I want but I have no idea how to get.

1. I want a job I am passionate about and enjoy

2. Want to get out of this room and stop been so needy towards my girlfriend but this room is like my fortress the only place I feel safe I feel as I am living a lie i never bare my soul out to anyone I have never told anyone how i felt like this before and I have never asked for help this isn't easy.

3. I want better relations with my family I know I am pushing them away my dad is soo disappointed in me and he is starting to give up on me. He has been trying to get my off my arse for a while but nothing seems to be working it just feels like he is nagging me all the time which is getting me down.

4. All around better myself get all these negative thoughts out of my head and make me happy. Then I can give my girlfriend what she really deserves.
Author:  Tiger6Niner [ Mon Apr 11, 2011 4:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
You've taken the first step: Goal setting. Now work out how you will achieve those goals. Break them down into smaller, short term goals with each smaller goal leading you a step closer to achieving your main goal.

1. Great job
What do you enjoy doing? What are your hobbies? What are your skills? Is(are) there a job(s) that is a combination of all those that you can see yourself doing and enjoying? If so list them. Work out the skills and qualifications required for them as well as other skills and qualifications that will assist you.

You may not be able to get that job straight out, so you will want to get some experience. Whether or not its in the same area, if you have not had a job before, any job experience is better than none. I also suggest no matter how lame other people might think your job is, give it your best, work hard and try and get the most out of it. Not only will you gain more valuable experience, if you are a hard worker, your boss from that job will give you a better reference for when you go your next job.

My first job was at McDonalds. Most people usually make jokes about working at McDonalds, but i quite enjoyed it. Honestly, what you get out of the job depends on what you want to get out of it and how much effort you put in. I worked hard and learnt alot about life through working at McDonalds. I learnt the basic way to do things, then i developed more efficient ways. I sort to continually improve myself and the way i did things around the store. I worked with 2 mentally challenged people (not trying to be harsh or anything) and through constant training and reinforcement I helped get them up to standard.

By the time i was 18, I had developed management skills, people skills, training skills and business skills. No one taught me any of these or even expected me to learn these working at McDonalds after school, but I set out to get the most out of my job as I could and I did.

2. Your castle
There should be no reason for you to hide out in your castle unless you are under attack in some form. Castles are awesome places to live, but there is no reason to stay holed up in them unless you are under siege. Getting out of your comfort zone allows you to grow as a person. Its like pushing your limits at the gym. If you want to get stronger, you have to lift more weight so your muscle fibres stretch.

If your will is not enough to get you out of your castle, give yourself a reason to leave. Have something (or multiple things) outside. Go to the gym 2 or 3 days a week, go for a jog around the block every couple of days. Exercise releases endorphins which raise your mood. Exercise also allows you to set goals that are achievable and achieving goals makes you feel good.

ill finish continue later, gotta take care of a few other things SPAM
Author:  patchu [ Mon Apr 11, 2011 9:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
dude I can completely relate, at the moment I am stuck in my room all the time, however my job is working from home so I am stuck inside not socializing asmuch as I would hope, my parents want me to do more stuff. I go to university doing a course I enjoy with computers. My girlfriend has started to not see me as much, so I am feeling isolated from everybody, all my friends live away. I have exams then I am going to go out and socialize with people.

My advice ( this is what i am going to do / done )
- Find a hobby, turn it into a job
- Find new friends, go out places meet new people
- Think to yourself, you cant rely on your parents forever, one day they wont be round and you will be by yourself with no experience.
- The more work you put into your life, the more rewards you get in your life.
Author:  Ap [ Mon Apr 11, 2011 9:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
Sucks doesn't it! I also feel isolated and feel I'm not seeing my girlfriend as much! take a look at the post I just write 30 days of challenge i think you'll be able to relate and may help you :).
Author:  Tiger6Niner [ Tue Apr 12, 2011 12:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
3. I want better relations with my family I know I am pushing them away my dad is soo disappointed in me and he is starting to give up on me. He has been trying to get my off my arse for a while but nothing seems to be working it just feels like he is nagging me all the time which is getting me down.
I was in the same boat. You think they are nagging and being annoying, but they know you are capable of achieving far more than you are currently so they are trying to act as your motivation. For me, it didnt work, I ended up motivating myself eventually however I am thankful for my Dad being on my back. I look back now and realise that he wasnt being a harsh for the sake of it, he was trying to stop me making the same mistakes he did. I found out the hard way, but I am still greatful because I don't want to imagine how much worse I could have turned out if he wasnt pressuring me.

If you want to improve relations with your family, help out around the house. If your parents are doing maintenance, give them a hand. Help with the chores. They will be greatful for it.

Ultimately, the motivation to get up and do something will have to come from you. Once it does, your family sounds like they will support you the whole way. So dig deep, find something and go with it 8)
Quote:
4. All around better myself get all these negative thoughts out of my head and make me happy. Then I can give my girlfriend what she really deserves.
Look at the skills you have and what you can do. Goal setting and working towards goals here will help slowly remove negative thoughts as your confidence builds with each achievement. Keeping focussed on a goal helps block out negative thoughts as well as all your concentration is diverted. Be thankful for what you have as there are people out there far worse off than you are.
Author:  MechanisM [ Tue Apr 12, 2011 1:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
You have a girlfriend. That's already a start. Build on that, talk out your issues with her. As stated before, set goals achievable and even ridiculous ones and work towards it. Reward and praise yourself for achieving each.
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/