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no one cares
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Author:  Mr. Metal [ Sun Feb 20, 2011 12:44 am ]
Post subject:  no one cares
I'm a university student and it's our week off. I'm sitting in my room bored as shit and with no plans. It seems like no one cares about me. People who I thought were my friends ignore me. My facebook wall is pretty much empty aside from my status updates. People hardly call/text me unless they wanna work on assignments or study. I'm not even socially awkward, nerdy, or one of those boring guys whose only hobby is world of warcraft. What the fuck.

It's been like this my whole life pretty much, although it's gotten much better in the last year. It's still bad though, and lately I've just been thinking about this a lot, to the point where I lose sleep. My social life is a depressing thought that drains my energy and my motivation. If I was introverted, I wouldn't care. But I'm extroverted. I love people. Sitting in my room all the time is depressing. I love partying. But I have no one to party with. I don't get invited to any parties unless it's a party where everyone in my program's invited.

What should I do? I have casual friends. But they clearly don't care enough about me to ever even ask what I'm doing Friday nights. Should I try joining clubs/organizations? Should I go out to bars alone to try to meet people? The few times I've had people to go to bars with I've noticed people mainly talk to their friends though. I've tried organizing events with some casual friends. But even when they do show interest in them they're really flaky and often leave me hanging for hours and hours promising to get back to me. That's when I usually just cancel.

Please help me guys. I really don't want to spend what should be the best years of my life alone. I need to do something to change my life but I don't know what it is.
Author:  Mr. Metal [ Tue Feb 22, 2011 3:54 am ]
Post subject: 
You guys are really proving my point. No one cares.
Author:  bvanevery [ Wed Feb 23, 2011 11:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
I prefer to think that the care is on a budget. :D We're not paid psychiatrists. You pay someone $100/hour, they'll care plenty. Well, at least they'll gladly take your money. :shock:

I realize that wanting to feel validated by another human being is part of your problem. But, you do also have the option of taking some action yourself, while waiting for replies. There's a lot of stuff on this forum and in this subforum specifically. Reading through the archives would probably help you. Applying advice given to other people would probably help you. There's an ethic around here of "doing your homework," and while I wouldn't want to be mean about it, it is part of getting over one's problems.

I don't personally read the forums every day, or every subforum every day. I gave up reading most of the posts awhile ago. Generally I only scan for the "catchy headlines." I guess that was you today! Hope it helps.
Author:  BrianFL2 [ Mon Mar 07, 2011 4:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
I would say your story applies to a huge chunk of the male population.

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT A DOCTOR, NOR DO I PLAY ONE ON TV, AND I DID NOT STAY AT A HOLIDAY INN LAST NIGHT.

sounds like you are depressed and lacking in social skills. Go see a therapist. I'm not being flip or glib or sarcastic or mean. Go see a therapist. If you broke your leg you would go to the damn doctor wouldn't you ?
Author:  ltpqz [ Tue Mar 08, 2011 1:12 am ]
Post subject: 
I think everyone has periods when they feel this way. For me it was a large chunk of freshman year and a few months when I was abroad. I felt like I was stuck in a rut when I should be living it up. Eventually I figured I'd have to change something. I went out by myself (when abroad) and had a great time. Met some really interesting people (Communist musicians). I also forced myself to meet new people during the day and get their contact info, even if it felt awkward. These kind of times are when you grow the most because you're not comfortable and have to push yourself. In order to eventually feel better, you have to accept that, for a little while, you'll feel worse (enduring some rejection and questioning yourself). Just remember that it's a transition period and eventually the effort will pay off. If your friends aren't calling you, just call them. Joining a club sounds like a great idea too. Maybe find a gym buddy. Good luck man :)
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