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How to keep confidence up
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Author:  Le Loup [ Mon Feb 14, 2011 7:21 am ]
Post subject:  How to keep confidence up
I am confident, have no AA and can open sets just fine. However, recently I moved to australia which is a different PU environment so Im getting rejected a lot more and to make things even worse recently two girls that I was gaming and really liked and thought liked me didnt work out for various reasons.

As a result Im finding it a lot harder to keep confident and have a positive vibe when im out (also my friends here is aus lack confidence and I think it might be rubbing off). I feel that im getting stressed and frustrated because of it, which in turn is negatively affecting my game. Any tips on how to keep confidence up and get out of this little negativity cycle?
Author:  AFCJimmyDoyle [ Mon Feb 14, 2011 9:54 am ]
Post subject: 
A lot of AFC's confidence is built on 'success' when they first start out. When you get good results your mood improves, and vice versa.

Many PUA's will tell you that the best way they managed to overcome this problem was to change their frame based on different situations. A simple example would be that if they got rejected by a girl then their frame would be 'well she wasn't right for me, as I like friendly girls'

I have only given you examples, I am not even to good in this area either but I am learning just like you.

So yeah, I would recommend learning how to control your state and change your frame etc

Also, go back to basics...have you managed to overcome your inner demons? What is actually holding you back? Write 5 things down on a piece of paper...and work on them. One step at a time.

Anway, good luck man. Hope I have given you even even one small piece of information you or someone else could use. Remember PU is about aiming to be a better you in every situation...but it takes a lot of effort and time. :D
Author:  AFCmack [ Mon Feb 14, 2011 2:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yea mate your wings if they are AFC will definately be having an effect on your state so try to ignore getting sucked into their frame Ive met some really bad AFCs lately that will try take you down with them , if they are negative or tryna avoid approaching by chewing your ear off with the newest holy grail wealth,gaming,nlp book thank them but walk away and approach by yourself.
Game in Australia is slightly more competitive in the big cities mainly because girls are looking to get the best choice and its more impersonal whereas if you lived in a small city population under 100,000 eventually everybody kinda knows everybody through somebody so you get comfort or social circle game/proof easier.
As for girls not working out forget it thats two steps closer to a keen one and its nothing new im sure a girl has said no before.
Author:  Le Loup [ Mon Feb 14, 2011 10:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
yeah my afc mate actually told me this one night; "you know girls only go after guys with good cars, so ill work really hard for a couple of years and get a porsche and then ill have the hottest gf"

But that isnt really whats bothering me, its that percentage wise more girls are rejecting me. And out of all the girls I approached since I moved here I only managed to k-close one and n-close 2 and both flaked on me. I KNOW people get laid here, it just seems more random and less about confidence, etc. so im finding it hard to keep morale up..
Author:  AFCmack [ Tue Feb 15, 2011 8:04 am ]
Post subject: 
Yeah mate have heard the old make a billion dollars and come back the king from AFCs.
Yea when i moved here it was much harder to game, the first girls i did hook up with were from my old country lol.
Crank up your game man ,I have a coach i work with twice a week dosent cost much but its taking my game just that level higher after being in the luck rut for too long.
Author:  andyyang [ Sun Mar 06, 2011 2:14 am ]
Post subject: 
In your situation, I would do 3 things a little bit different.

Since you are in a new environment, if you're strictly going for 9s and 10s, try going for 7s and 8s and work your way up. Now, I'm not really suggesting you permanently lower your standards, but it might be a breath of fresh air for you because success builds success. If you're getting 7s and 8s left and right then you can take a stop forward and start going for 9s and 10s again.

I would also hang out with more positive people, and people that have as much game as you. If they are successful, I would not be opposed to letting my pride down and modeling them to see what they're doing right. Their positivity and success will eventually rub off on you.

I would also do things unrelated to pick up to boost your confidence like working out or setting work goals and achieving them. A lot of times what happens to me is that confidence in one area spills over to when I approach and pick up girls.

Hope this helps!
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