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I am a Fucking Pushover!!
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Author:  Checkfigure1 [ Sat Nov 20, 2010 5:32 am ]
Post subject:  I am a Fucking Pushover!!
The title sums it up to the tee. I am a total pushover when it comes to all areas of my life. The biggest concern is that it totally ruins my game.

Ever since I was a young child my feelings were very suppressed and my parents smothered me. They brought me to a cult like church that demoralized me for the first 11 years of my life. This along with my parents suppressing me, made me not know when to exert my self and stand up for myself. As a result, I have become a very depressed and not have a friendly personality.

All through high school I had huge social anxiety. I felt as if I wasn't worthy to even have a friend. The friends that I did have never lasted for very long. I was always labled as a "nice guy". The label was given to me because I was a total pushover and acted anxious.

I was fortunate enough to be able to have several girlfriends in my life through out the years. However, everyone of the relationships I had, the girlfriend totallywalked all over me. I knew the behavior was disrespectful, but did nothing about it, because I had no self-esteem that I could ever find another woman. People always wondered what is wrong with me because of my lack of balls.

Right now, I have a job in sales. My boss in a round-about way told me that I am a pushover. I let customers walk all over me. I am on the brink of being fired because of me being a push over.

The events in my life that led up to me being a pushover, make me feel like I have a terminal disease. It is the most frusturating feeling in the world, that most people don't respect me and yet I don't know when or how to stand up for myself. Like I mentioned before, when it comes to game, I feel like not even trying since I am such a push over. Is there any way you guys could suggest to break this nasty, viscious cycle?

Thanks!
Author:  @TheRealDonnyV [ Sat Nov 20, 2010 6:32 am ]
Post subject: 
Read NLP. It will make you a much better salesman. That will boast confidence. Therefore, you will regard yourself in a much higher sense and will not allow people to walk all over you.
Author:  maria_ [ Sat Nov 20, 2010 1:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
@Checkfigure1

You can break that vicious cycle but it will not happen overnight.

You need to 1. realise where you don't respect yourself 2. replace the old values with new ones. 3. get confident.

I think this book can help you. Either you have this problem or not it has some really good exercises that can help you realise where you dont respect yourself enough. It is a tough book to go through it though:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Toxic-Parents-S ... 604&sr=1-2

This will help you start being more positive and will help you replace the old values with new ones:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Cognitive-Behav ... 0470018380

To get more confident try martial arts. Not only it will make you believe more in yourself but you will meet people and you will socialise. This is great because the more people you talk to the more you will improve :wink:

NLP is good too but for some specific things you want to focus. A good book about basic things on NLP ( nothing to do with seduction though) to my opinion is this one:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Change-Your-Lif ... 259&sr=8-1

Good luck!!! =)
Author:  Checkfigure1 [ Tue Nov 23, 2010 4:40 am ]
Post subject: 
Thank you for the replies!

Being a pushover has caused MANY pitfalls in my life. The majority of my life has been self-esteem has been nothing because of me being a pushover. What are some small steps you could suggest for me to build my self-esteem up?

I was in a bad relationship with one girl because I never thought I could find another girl. We broke up and I ended up dating a woman who was 10x worse. After we broke up, I went back with the girl who wasn't quite as bad. This girl now pressured me to get married. As a result next fall we have a wedding date set. I love her to death, but I know that I am selling my self short because of my low self-esteem, which stemmed from me being a pushover.

Any help would be greatly appreciated!
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