PUA Forum :: Facing Fears (How far is too far?)

I've been there. You almost spun off the road? lol I crashed my car going double the speed limit on a narrow countryside road. The car flew off the road and into a mud field, flipping over twice. The mud absorbed the impact and, thanks to seatbelts, I was perfectly fine.

But that shit was fucking stupid. I lost a car and cars cost a lot of money... and I could have died.

When "facing a fear" involves the real threat of physical harm and substantial loss of financial investments, it's probably not a good idea.

By the way, one of the reasons I got into an exclusive relationship is because I feared commitment and falling in love again. Turned out pretty good so far. The fact that you've made a habit of facing your fears is indeed a GOOD thing, but don't use it as an excuse to do stupid shit that could land you in the emergency room. Quit playing with fire (literally, not metaphorically).

Author:	Sean E. Sexton [ Sat Oct 23, 2010 10:29 pm ]
Post subject:	Facing Fears (How far is too far?)
Hey there, I am new here, and I'd like to start by saying that I am a ridicules "facing fears" kind of guy, and I've been doing this thing for the past 2 or 3 years! I'm having lots of trouble just being comfortable with life in general, lots of people I know personally consider me outgoing, and kind of overbearing, and they got good reason, facing fears is all I do, which means I have alot of fears! lol It kind of makes me erradical and offputting, and got my social life thrown to hell. - I've dumped girls because I was afraid to let go - I've almost spinned off the road because I wanted the rush of wreckless driving. - I caught my arm on fire with 100% pure alcohol, to see what happened. - And I have a permanent cigarette burn on my arm. Now I can go on. But I need to know, how far is too far? Lately I've been practicing super-chump. In other words, when I first discovered wussy behaviors, I started fearing wussy behaviors. So now I've been meeting girls being the "super wuss" to face that fear. I mean, imagine being a girl who has to deal with super clingy, obsessively texting, needy guy when all he's doing it for is just for the sake of doing it? I am wondering if I could be taking this "facing fears" stuff too far in my personal development, because I am obviously hurting my reputation on appearing borderline crazy. Any thoughts?

Author:	AdrianWakely [ Sun Oct 24, 2010 9:49 am ]
Post subject:
See, I don't see how acting like a wuss is actually helping. Sure to face your fear, you need to not falter at the possibility of it happening, and I can see how putting yourself through that means you've felt it and can move on from it. But that fear is hardwired man, it's there to protect you. And acting like that has no real purpose.

Author:	Sean E. Sexton [ Sun Oct 24, 2010 2:25 pm ]
Post subject:
So repeated exposure to the anxiety does not fully numb the anxiety? I guess what you're saying if you have to face the fear, than face it, but constantly creating fearful situations for the purpose of facing them is pointless.

Author:	Sean E. Sexton [ Sun Oct 24, 2010 11:26 pm ]
Post subject:
It probably is, I guess that answers the question, some things can be taken too far, even stepping out of our comfort zones and facing our fears. PUA all preach wussiness is bad (and I agree), but what good is knowing that if we begin to fear wussiness? Facing the fear of wussiness to me seems to be just as refreshing as facing the fear of heights and approach. Maybe we can get addicted to facing our fears?

Author:	Chief [ Mon Oct 25, 2010 12:13 am ]
Post subject:
I've been there. You almost spun off the road? lol I crashed my car going double the speed limit on a narrow countryside road. The car flew off the road and into a mud field, flipping over twice. The mud absorbed the impact and, thanks to seatbelts, I was perfectly fine. But that shit was fucking stupid. I lost a car and cars cost a lot of money... and I could have died. When "facing a fear" involves the real threat of physical harm and substantial loss of financial investments, it's probably not a good idea. By the way, one of the reasons I got into an exclusive relationship is because I feared commitment and falling in love again. Turned out pretty good so far. The fact that you've made a habit of facing your fears is indeed a GOOD thing, but don't use it as an excuse to do stupid shit that could land you in the emergency room. Quit playing with fire (literally, not metaphorically).

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Author:	Sean E. Sexton [ Mon Oct 25, 2010 12:37 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: I've been there. You almost spun off the road? lol I crashed my car going double the speed limit on a narrow countryside road. The car flew off the road and into a mud field, flipping over twice. The mud absorbed the impact and, thanks to seatbelts, I was perfectly fine. But that shit was fucking stupid. I lost a car and cars cost a lot of money... and I could have died. When "facing a fear" involves the real threat of physical harm and substantial loss of financial investments, it's probably not a good idea. By the way, one of the reasons I got into an exclusive relationship is because I feared commitment and falling in love again. Turned out pretty good so far. The fact that you've made a habit of facing your fears is indeed a GOOD thing, but don't use it as an excuse to do stupid shit that could land you in the emergency room. Quit playing with fire (literally, not metaphorically). I agree with you completely! As for almost spinning off the road, nah, not that tragic, except for most roads were I live are on hills and cliffs, and the one I almost went off, it would have been a fun tumble to the ocean 50' below. It was nothing more than a close call and a few tire tracks on the road. (a road which I must include, no longer exists. Hurricane Igor did a number!)

Author:	Grand Master [ Mon Oct 25, 2010 2:22 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: It probably is, I guess that answers the question, some things can be taken too far, even stepping out of our comfort zones and facing our fears. PUA all preach wussiness is bad (and I agree), but what good is knowing that if we begin to fear wussiness? Facing the fear of wussiness to me seems to be just as refreshing as facing the fear of heights and approach. Maybe we can get addicted to facing our fears? Sean, I see what you are saying but wussiness is not what AFCs are afraid of(I am not saying this is you), rather that is what they are used to, that is what they do. The fear is to be a non-wussy, the fear is that of the approach,the fear is that of speaking your mind and being compassionate at the same time, that of the unknown territory.

Author:	Sean E. Sexton [ Mon Oct 25, 2010 3:33 am ]
Post subject:
Exactly! I agree with you completely. I don't think afc's are afraid of wussiness, they just are wussy and they are used to being that way, but I do think some pua's and "pua's in training" are afraid of being afc's or having afc moments. Funny paradox! We face one fear, we develop a new one. Which makes me wonder, does any expert PUA's get over the fear of being an afc? I honestly do believe some of the best pua experts actually do, and have no issue with this! They know deep down inside that they don't care if they have a wussy moment or have a wussy phase, and perhaps they'd consider it refreshing.

Author:	Chief [ Mon Oct 25, 2010 3:07 pm ]
Post subject:
I for one think that your experiment with "intentionally acting like a wuss in response to fear of being a wuss" is interesting. Keep us updated on what you learn.

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