good read
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| EYE CONTACT https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=73576 |
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| Author: | frost3627 [ Mon Aug 23, 2010 1:16 am ] |
| Post subject: | EYE CONTACT |
Eye contact. One MAJOR constituent of how people perceive you. Beyond major, actually. Pivotal. In this post, I hope to describe to you guys how eye contact evolves in our minds as we grow up. I've had deep issues with eye contact, but in retrospect I can say that I've pretty much worked out a way (at least for myself) to get over any stigma this natural instinct may cause. To put everything I'm writing here in a short paragraph, I'd like to say that eye contact is like an erection. Strong eye contact comes from a clear and confident mind naturally, just like a strong erection comes from a healthy diet and exercise (no viagra claims, please!). THE EVOLUTION FROM EYE CONTACT TO EYE-HATE-CONTACT When we're kids, we look at everyone in the eye. Everyone. We don't know where else to look at. We don't stare at boobs as kids, and we don't WORRY about looking at someone or their body parts wrongly. Hence, no problems. We go into our mid-to-late teens, and some of us still don't have that problem. We can still easily look someone in the eye without having to think about it. But some of us start to slowly dread this powerful human and animalistic habit. Two reasons for this: Some of us are constantly told to look people in the eye by the older members of family. This makes us conscious when talking to anyone and we start thinking "whether or not we're looking them in the eye in the right manner, the so called 'powerful' manner". The other reason is some of us have wandering minds. Not ADD or anything like that. We just are more conscious of everything in our surroundings and at times, because of that nature, we've been 'caught' looking at something supposedly wrong which has changed our nature of looking people with connection. As powerful as it may sound, it only takes one event to change someone's personality, and then years may be spent to recover fully from this incident. A lot of us are on these forums because of ONE event, be it a rejection, an aggressive confrontation, awkward staring, whatever. So by the time we're in our early twenties, events of our teens have shaped our personality. Yes, we can discuss how some guys are lucky with born 'alpha' habits and traits and how some of us have had to work for it. FUCK IT. Everybody has had to work for something. You may be better at many other things than some guy who's really good with women. So fuck it, we'll fucking learn it. And hence, by our early twenties, we can either look people in the eye convincingly, or we can make it into an awkward moment every time. Now lets delve further.. THE MECHANICS OF EYE CONTACT You approach a receptionist. Or a bartender. Or a cashier, a salesgirl. Can you look them in the eye? Can you approach these inconsequential people and look them right in the eye and speak what you want to? Ponder over this question for a while, then, if you believe that you cannot do it, ask yourself why. Why do you fear making eye contact? Do you believe they'll read your mind, do you believe your deep and dark 'secrets' will be out? Think. A lot of people fear eye contact because it is rightly said that the eyes are the window to the soul. You genuinely fear that when you say out something obnoxious, or tell a lie, your eyes will give in to you and you'll be caught. You have absolutely no reason to fear this. Have you ever read someone's mind through their eyes? Sure, you can make out when someone is making a tall claim or a spitting out a lie, but how many times has it mattered to you? I'm sure all of us have had awkward moments. A lot of awkward moments also go with awkward eye contact. Suddenly, this powerful thing, something that's supposed to amplify your seduction and attraction, has become a bane. For each of these instances that you've been in, put yourself in the other person's shoes. Imagine yourself to be them and be in the 'awkward situation'. I can guarantee you it wouldn't feel so awkward then, because it is only us who think too much of the situation and turn it into some sort of limiting belief. Eye contact is a natural habit ALL humans respect and look up to. HOW I FOUGHT WEAK AND AWKWARD EYE CONTACT I stopped thinking on my feet. Literally. I stopped putting weight in social interactions, I stopped imagining the woman I spoke to to be undressing, and I simply listened. Yes, simple listening killed awkward eye contact. I know this is like saying if you want moose meat go shoot a moose, but I know it isn't that simple. A lot of guys (like my prior self) could not stop thinking too much, and thinking puts you away from the moment. Slow your mind down. Practice this in your alone time, practice this with your best friends. Imagine things to suddenly slow down, and now you have the extra half a second to react. Slow your movements, slow your thoughts, slow yourself down. Take deeper breaths, even in conversations. Start by looking at people who do not matter to you in the eye (like salesgirls,cashiers,bartenders..). You must've read before that don't stare into someone's eyes, just look. Staring occurs when you think of the eye contact you're making. The right way is to simply just look people in the eye without thinking about eye contact. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH IT! With a few days of practice, I can guarantee you that you'd be looking at everyone in the eye just because you stopped thinking too much. GUARANTEE! AMAZING EYE CONTACT GAME If you've mastered the art of eye contact and it comes naturally to you by now, you will definitely know this. When in conversation, make deep eye contact with the person you're talking to. Show genuine concern over what he or she is saying. Inevitably, the person you're talking to will look away at some point of the conversation and break eye contact. When this happens, hold the eye contact even when they are looking away for an extra two or three seconds, every time! This is a very, very powerful technique from even the ancient times; it renders the person you're talking to under your influence somewhat, because it is when they look away that you establish rapport with them. It shows that you're absolutely, totally interested in them that even when they look away, your interest is only in them. It's a self-esteem boost for the person you're talking to, something they're going to be intuitively grateful for. You will start noticing over a period of time that the more you do this, the more positive responses you'll get from people. You'll also start realizing that the better you get, the lesser people lie to you and make false stories, and you get more loyalty from everyone. I've had some great success with this, not only with the women aspect of my life, but in general. People have told me that there is absolutely no fooling me with anything; I have refuted that claim but it's just the kind of strength powerful eye contact has. So I'm hoping this helps someone out there, because I too know the struggle one may have with good eye contact. Every once in a while I fall back into an awkward eye contact rut and have to read up on good material to re-learn. Good luck! |
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| Author: | crass [ Mon Aug 23, 2010 4:27 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
good read
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| Author: | hex [ Mon Aug 23, 2010 8:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
This was good. Thank you! |
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