PUA Forum :: Lost some of my game

You don't like yourself anymore. Somehow, that's just communicated between the lines of what you wrote. If I see it here, you can probably see it in the mirror. Things went well in the past probably because you were totally in love with yourself and it was easy to assume everyone else was too.

Fake it until you make it has never worked for me. You have to find all that crap you've been meaning to get around to and do it. Taxes, rearranging your room, donating a pile of crap to charity, little crap every one procrastinates on. Then figure out the thing you hate most about your life (that you have control over) and fix it. Your job, your body, your car. Once you've had that success, you'll remember what it was like to be a man that got shit done and you can ride that euphoria and self love straight to uh, tuna town.

Author:	Tundra [ Mon Jun 07, 2010 10:34 am ]
Post subject:	Lost some of my game
I went through some complicated stuff over the past few months, I feel like I slowly lost my confidence and that was my entire game strategy. My inner game is what made me a total beast in the field and now I don't have the fire anymore, I get AA even with people I KNOW are interested in me and are well within my reach if I would stop getting stuck in my head. I even feel a little uneasy around friends, old demons of being judged creep up on me and fuck me over. I don't greet people anymore, I just kinda say whats up and go into wallflower mode (pisses me off like crazy). Having trouble getting the confidence back from when I first started (like 6 months ago!). I used to be clever, extremely funny, totally socially in-tune, unafraid, could hold an interesting conversation with NO effort, and would radiate alpha without feeling incongruent. I think the relationship I just got out of took a lot out of me but I want to go back to the beast. Women wanted me, they communicated it, and I got propositions & IOI's without even having a real conversation with them. I could approach and talk to women with no AA at all, and it was fun & rewarding. It was a cycle that only served to build me up. Now I can barely strike a convo anymore. What's the best way to prep and build that courage? I found that if I couldn't be the absolute Don Juan before I walked into the door, I wasn't going to be Don Juan after I got in. I can't get the mindset, its a mental wall. Right now I'm going to try and sort of re-live that period when I was god (coincidentally when I first started), the music, the memories, when I first read/watched PUAs and shortly after stopped following them & rejected most PU strategies and embraced natural inner game after it worked flawlessly for me, and see if I can pick up from there, but I'll take any sound advice. What gets you guys into the rhythm? Have you ever been out of it? What brought you back from the chump grave? As sort of an addendum, my non-verbal game is still in play. I still try to communicate with my body that I'm alpha, I know about tonality and such, I think I've pretty much internalized it. Those things are key but its still not making the engine turn over. I'm missing the x-factor.

Author:	minsok [ Tue Jun 08, 2010 8:30 am ]
Post subject:
You don't like yourself anymore. Somehow, that's just communicated between the lines of what you wrote. If I see it here, you can probably see it in the mirror. Things went well in the past probably because you were totally in love with yourself and it was easy to assume everyone else was too. Fake it until you make it has never worked for me. You have to find all that crap you've been meaning to get around to and do it. Taxes, rearranging your room, donating a pile of crap to charity, little crap every one procrastinates on. Then figure out the thing you hate most about your life (that you have control over) and fix it. Your job, your body, your car. Once you've had that success, you'll remember what it was like to be a man that got shit done and you can ride that euphoria and self love straight to uh, tuna town.

Author:	Tundra [ Tue Jun 08, 2010 7:33 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: You don't like yourself anymore. Somehow, that's just communicated between the lines of what you wrote. If I see it here, you can probably see it in the mirror. Things went well in the past probably because you were totally in love with yourself and it was easy to assume everyone else was too. Fake it until you make it has never worked for me. You have to find all that crap you've been meaning to get around to and do it. Taxes, rearranging your room, donating a pile of crap to charity, little crap every one procrastinates on. Then figure out the thing you hate most about your life (that you have control over) and fix it. Your job, your body, your car. Once you've had that success, you'll remember what it was like to be a man that got shit done and you can ride that euphoria and self love straight to uh, tuna town. I think you are right my friend. Something that has been bothering me as of late is the fact I don't have a job. I have some old cash lying around that I've been living off of for a while but I don't have that part of my life locked down. The AA comes back and makes it even harder just looking for a job, though I have attempted and handed in a few applications, but not nearly on the scale that I should be. Another thing that is bothering me is since I got into a relationship, I stopped caring about myself as much. I would eat all the time and now I'm not HUGE, but I'm big enough to know in my own head that I'm not where I should be. I'm going to the gym now, I'm doing a bit of lifting, got dumbbells that I lift everyday now, so I'm really working towards that. To put things in perspective, when I was in godmode, I had just gotten out of a job, and I was in better shape than I was before (not muscular at all, just more slim). I was complimented by a couple friends and that really helped put me in the spot. I guess I was happy with myself. I wasn't living in my head, I think in the back of my mind, it creeps up on me that if I do get into a convo with a girl, the fact I'm not working is going to make me DLV and so I just get the anxiety not to reveal too much. I feel like my life in general isn't exciting enough to talk about but the thing is, I was able to do it flawlessly when I was on my A-game. The more I think about it, it seems like a Maslow's thing.

Author:	minsok [ Wed Jun 09, 2010 12:47 am ]
Post subject:
Yeah, the hierarchy of needs. It sounds like you're in survival mode, what kind of girl is going to want that (really young naive ones)? I had a somewhat shitty date yesterday and I think I ended up in the friendzone somehow, which has not happened to me in a LONG time. Totally messed with me, I was lying in bed trying to fall in a depressive sleep. Then I was like to hell with this, I put on my running clothes and went to the gym. After a measly mile and a third on the treadmill I felt like a golden lion, my self appreciation was back through the roof. It's something no other person will ever have control over. The gym is an awesome thing, there's a study that correlates muscle mass to feelings of deserving higher quality women.

Author:	Tundra [ Wed Jun 09, 2010 1:24 am ]
Post subject:
Yeah I go twice a week for about an hour. I'm what you would call "unhealthy", I don't really exercise which makes me skinny & have little muscle, but I have a little visible fat, which I should consider fortunate, other people could be really overweight. The fat that I do have makes me insecure to take my clothes off, and sometimes that bothers me but it didn't seem to be a problem when I was in godmode. I'm just going to keep lifting and see where this gets me. I'm like a lot of people, I look for instant gratification and if I don't see results, I can give up easily, so I'm trying to fight that urge. Another thing that bothers me of late is my circle of friends. I have a few good friends I hang out with once in a while, and that's usually how I meet people, when they bring friends. Its not them that bother me as much, its the fact that I realize that I don't have many of my own friends. I can't really think of anybody I met recently who I did on my own accord, who weren't a friend of a friend. Its not the end of the world, but when I get bored, I realize that my options are limited because I'm stuck in this rut of AA and being in my head. Maybe I'm making it out to be more than it is but I'm really trying to find the trouble points in my life and solve them ASAP so I can get back on the success train.

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Author:	minsok [ Wed Jun 09, 2010 7:47 am ]
Post subject:
AA is pretty much just an excuse not to be great. I mean the worst thing that can happen is you end up not liking the person you talk to (it's virtually impossible for someone not to like you once you reach a certain point of self-satisfaction). You sound like you're around my age, so yeah it really is time to man up. Going to the gym twice a week is definitely enough to make a change. The first two months is where I noticed the most difference and now I go mostly to maintain what I have, which I like, but really isn't much. Just make sure you're actually working when you're there, 3 hours a week is nothing.

Author:	Tundra [ Wed Jun 09, 2010 12:08 pm ]
Post subject:
Yeah I bust my ass when I'm there because I'm getting in free for a limited time. In another 3-4 weeks I'll hit a bump where I need to buy a membership, I guess that's make or break for me. I'm not going to pay for that unless I have a job, so it all works together.

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