Rejection is a word that describes a mental state that we imagine in our heads.
Most of you have heard about values and beliefs and how they affect our life, our game, our behaviour and our whole destiny.
Values are simply valued states. They are labels for different levels of pain or pleasure.
You can have a positive valued state like freedom or happiness or adventure or negative like humiliation or frustration or anger or depression.
Stay with me.
So with each valued state, you describe a specific meaning.
For some poeple, the feeling of humiliation is the worst feeling in the world and they will do everything to avoid it.
On the other hand, we also will do everything to move toward the feeling that we want, for instance freedom. If our highest value is freedom, than we will do everything we can to get more freedom.
Now, what does this have to do with rejection?
Lets continue..
Well, we all ascribe meaning to different situation as what a certain situation will mean for us. For instance, when we think about approaching women, we immediately see her rejecting us and we have linked rejection means humiliation, i will become an outsider.
So the problem is that we LINK rejection with our negative emotions and thus creating a negative valued state.
Now the magic part.
If we can change the meaning that we ascribe to a certain situation, we can change how we look at that situation, how we think about that situation and most importantly, how we FEEL about the situation.
So we can change how we feel about approaching women by making it feel pleasurable.
And now IMAGINE what you could do, if when you, when thinking about approaching a woman, felt amazingly POWERFUL and linked MASSIVE pleasure with approaching any woman in the street?
All of the great PUA`s have mastered this and changed what approaching a woman will mean. They have changed how will this make them feel. They no longer see approaching women as :
"I am going to be humiliated and feel bad after it"
but, they see it as
"I will have so much fun with this woman. Shes gonna love me. All women do"
So how do you change the meaning that you ascribe to approaching women?
Here are the steps.. follow me
FIRST, you gotta be clear on what does approaching women mean to you now?
Take a sheet of paper and writte down. It will only take you a minute. Its ok, write it down.
How does it make you feel? What does rejection mean to you?
Now beliefs.
In a sentence, describe a belief that you have arround approaching women.
Not like this: If I approach a woman she will reject me because Im a loser...
but:
If a woman rejects me, it means humiliation. It means friends will laugh at me and I will be emberessed.
So in other words, dont tell me a belief arround what will happen if you approach a woman but what will happen to you internally if you get rejected?
What does rejecton mean to you?
writte it down.
Do that on a clean sheet of paper. It will just take you a minute. Describe what is the feeling that you get when a girl rejects you.
SECOND, once we have that, we reframe it.
REFRAMING
Take that belief, and lets reframe it.
Now we are going to reframe what a rejection means to us.
Reframing doesnt just happen in our mind. It has to happen emotionally. We have to feel an emotional change in us.
If you can really master this area, this reframing of values not just belifes, you can literary change your personality into a somebody that youve always wanted.
Imagine how would it be like, if you could change the meaning of a certain event so it doesnt push your negative emotional button but it presses your positive emotional button. Think about the advantages you would get if you could change what you before thought was humiliating into a new frame that it is empowering.
Think about kamikazi suicide bombers that killed themselves. Why did they do that? For most people, killing yourself would mean ultimate pain. But for them it meant ultimate honor. There could be no more honorable death than to go like a kamikaze warrior.
How is that possible?
Because they changed what would it mean.
So, lets change our frame of what does rejection mean to us.
Maybe you picked a current state for rejection means humiliation.
Lets think about how not getting rejected means massive humiliation.
How would you feel, if you, when got rejected felt awsome pleasure and a feeling of success?
Would that be usefull?
Ok, lets reframe it:
MY CURRENT FRAME: "If I get rejected, I will feel humiliated and embaressed"
NEW FRAME: "People who dont get rejected in life are losers in life. They sit in their comfort zone and wait. They wait. That is all they do. They do not have the guts to go out and make something out of them. Slyvester stalone got rejected 2000 times before he got his first role as an actor. Getting rejected means you are on your way to success. Rejection means bravery, if you get rejected means you were brave enough to expose yourself. Rejection means honor, becuse not many people can deal with rejection. Rejection means you are important, because you are doing something with your life. Rejection means you are the man. Adam Lyons went through al lot of rejection before he could do what he can do now..massive rejection means ultimate power. Because when you get rejected, it means something is changing in your life. Rejection is like a weight that you are lifting for your emotional muscles. Not getting rejected by anybody means ultimate humiliation. If you dont get rejected in time, you will be nobody. You will have no money, you will have no women, you will have ugly women that nobody wants. When you go out, everybody are going to laugh at you because you can not have a woman in your life. You are going to feel so embaressed when they see you with that ugly chick. So go out and get rejected. As much as you can"
NOW visualize. Put on some inspiring music and visualize yourself getting rejected and feeling great inside. Feeling proud, feeling succesful, feeling loved, feeling like you are on your way to the top. Visualize the worst possible scenario that can happen with a woman rejecting you and as she does it, visualize your face in total extasy, total pleasure and composure. Visualize yourself laughing and feeling YES, YES, YES...IM MAKING IT HAPPEN. Visualize climbing on a mountain as you are getting rejected. Visualize you almoust getting to the top. FEEL a sense of pride, a sense of joy as she is rejecting you. FEEL like you are a fighter in a ring and with every rejection you are swinging a new punch in your oponment. Feel the achivement and joy of conquering. See rejection as your best friend, your ally, Your wing man. And do it more..
isnt it easy..
You can do that with losing, failure, humiliation, or any value you have that you want to get rid of it. Get rid of it all, because it is all JUNK!
"When you become so powerful internally, that NO WOMAN can affect you, than you begin to affect them" --David Deangelo
Now, you should have gone over 15 minutes of visualizing. Now, take a clean sheet of paper and writte down your emotions about rejection. What does it mean to you now.
Do this excercise daily for 5 days.. and rejection will mean total confidence, pleasure and joy to you.
Come back and writte down your discoveries. Dont rob us from your experience. You will help a lot of guys in this forum by reporting your experience.
What do you suggest to become more consistent?