PUA Forum :: The biggest obstacle in my little PUA career...

Hi. Some inner game issue is bugging me for a while now, and I would like to have some advice from you. I hope this post won’t get too long. I’ll try to keep it short and constructed.

Let’s start with last night as an example. This is just one night of many. It pretty much goes like this every other night for the last few months. So, I entered this medium sized club/bar with a few good buddies of mine. We were going out just to have some fun and fool around a bit, nothing special. Personally, I wasn’t planning on sarging. I was enjoying myself and girls were already showing some interest. I know I’m fairly good looking, so getting initial attraction isn’t a big deal for me. As I said, I wasn’t planning on sarging, but I began screening the girls a little (who were IOI’ing me). And this is exactly where the problems start to happen!

You might already know that I have some pretty high standards, but I think it’s going a little over the top now. I do want to approach a girl just to please her/have a good time/tease a bit/hug her/kiss her/hold her/date her/fuck her, you name it. But I can’t do it anymore, because of my f*cking “standards”. As soon as I start to screen a girl, I begin to disqualify her. Things like: “Yeah, she looks decent, but no it’s not quite it, next. Oh, that’s a weird smile; I expected a sexy smile, next. Hmm great she looks perfect, ooh damn, her ass is a too small, next.”

And the worst thing is. I’m proud of having those high standards so I can’t get rid of them in order to approach/close more girls. I think I found an explanation for having those standards. In the past, I dated a lot of girls whom I met during the night in club and bars. But always, yes ALWAYS, I was disappointed by their looks on a day 2. It seems that a girl might look great in a club but not-so-great when I see them again during the day. I don’t want this anymore. I’ve hurt a girl’s feelings many times when I have to say that this won’t work out. So having those high standards is like having a shield for not hurting those girls anymore when on a day 2.

This fact made me decide to give up night game a couple of months ago and started day gaming. I have to say that day game is a lot more trustworthy when it comes to screening for her looks. No alcohol, no loud noises, bright daylight, relaxed SPAM. Day game was satisfying for me for the first few weeks, but then again, those disappointing day 2’s started to kick in. Again, I lost interest in the girl and I couldn’t bring it to a full close. To make things worse, I’m inclined to disqualify a girl during the day too now! So this is also negatively affecting my number of day game approaches. I’m fed up of doing all the work for having the same result: a disappointing day 2, I lose interest, I hurt her feelings by saying “this won’t work out”.

I don’t know what to do anymore. Somehow, I need to get motivated again! I want to please a girl (most lovely playful emotional funny cute little creatures on this planet

) and stop being afraid of hurting her feelings. It’s complicated.

Thanks for reading and I hope to hear some advice/comments/tips/suggestions/anything!

Author:	Mister Boss [ Fri Jan 01, 2010 4:05 pm ]
Post subject:	The biggest obstacle in my little PUA career...
Hi. Some inner game issue is bugging me for a while now, and I would like to have some advice from you. I hope this post won’t get too long. I’ll try to keep it short and constructed. Let’s start with last night as an example. This is just one night of many. It pretty much goes like this every other night for the last few months. So, I entered this medium sized club/bar with a few good buddies of mine. We were going out just to have some fun and fool around a bit, nothing special. Personally, I wasn’t planning on sarging. I was enjoying myself and girls were already showing some interest. I know I’m fairly good looking, so getting initial attraction isn’t a big deal for me. As I said, I wasn’t planning on sarging, but I began screening the girls a little (who were IOI’ing me). And this is exactly where the problems start to happen! You might already know that I have some pretty high standards, but I think it’s going a little over the top now. I do want to approach a girl just to please her/have a good time/tease a bit/hug her/kiss her/hold her/date her/fuck her, you name it. But I can’t do it anymore, because of my f*cking “standards”. As soon as I start to screen a girl, I begin to disqualify her. Things like: “Yeah, she looks decent, but no it’s not quite it, next. Oh, that’s a weird smile; I expected a sexy smile, next. Hmm great she looks perfect, ooh damn, her ass is a too small, next.” And the worst thing is. I’m proud of having those high standards so I can’t get rid of them in order to approach/close more girls. I think I found an explanation for having those standards. In the past, I dated a lot of girls whom I met during the night in club and bars. But always, yes ALWAYS, I was disappointed by their looks on a day 2. It seems that a girl might look great in a club but not-so-great when I see them again during the day. I don’t want this anymore. I’ve hurt a girl’s feelings many times when I have to say that this won’t work out. So having those high standards is like having a shield for not hurting those girls anymore when on a day 2. This fact made me decide to give up night game a couple of months ago and started day gaming. I have to say that day game is a lot more trustworthy when it comes to screening for her looks. No alcohol, no loud noises, bright daylight, relaxed SPAM. Day game was satisfying for me for the first few weeks, but then again, those disappointing day 2’s started to kick in. Again, I lost interest in the girl and I couldn’t bring it to a full close. To make things worse, I’m inclined to disqualify a girl during the day too now! So this is also negatively affecting my number of day game approaches. I’m fed up of doing all the work for having the same result: a disappointing day 2, I lose interest, I hurt her feelings by saying “this won’t work out”. I don’t know what to do anymore. Somehow, I need to get motivated again! I want to please a girl (most lovely playful emotional funny cute little creatures on this planet ) and stop being afraid of hurting her feelings. It’s complicated. Thanks for reading and I hope to hear some advice/comments/tips/suggestions/anything!

Author:	Foundation [ Fri Jan 01, 2010 6:32 pm ]
Post subject:
If you cant find or be around your kind of HB's its your fault. Gear up, be sure your the person that fits well to your dream girl. If its your demands, look at yourself, in selfhelp thats the only controlable factor

Author:	ALPHA LiON [ Sat Jan 02, 2010 9:16 pm ]
Post subject:
Im like this too man, personally I blame TV, I see to many photoshopped and perfect looking women on TV like Cheryl Cole, Megan Fox and Tyra Banks. And also watch too many pornos with girls acting incredibly sexy. Then I go back into the real world and decide girls have too much makeup, not enough makeup, too much bodyfat, small breasts, freckles and whatever. Then they bore me further by being quiet and inexperienced in the bedroom. I guess part of the solution is finding a woman who is almost up to your standards and cutting her some slack until you become a better PUA. The greater a PUA you become, the more options you have and the oppurtunity of choosing a higher quality women arrises more frequently. Who knows your standards might decrease after finally fucking HB10 and deciding to go more for personality.

Author:	Marc [ Sun Jan 03, 2010 6:57 am ]
Post subject:	Re: The biggest obstacle in my little PUA career...
Quote: Hi. Some inner game issue is bugging me for a while now, and I would like to have some advice from you. I hope this post won’t get too long. I’ll try to keep it short and constructed. Let’s start with last night as an example. This is just one night of many. It pretty much goes like this every other night for the last few months. So, I entered this medium sized club/bar with a few good buddies of mine. We were going out just to have some fun and fool around a bit, nothing special. Personally, I wasn’t planning on sarging. I was enjoying myself and girls were already showing some interest. I know I’m fairly good looking, so getting initial attraction isn’t a big deal for me. As I said, I wasn’t planning on sarging, but I began screening the girls a little (who were IOI’ing me). And this is exactly where the problems start to happen! You might already know that I have some pretty high standards, but I think it’s going a little over the top now. I do want to approach a girl just to please her/have a good time/tease a bit/hug her/kiss her/hold her/date her/fuck her, you name it. But I can’t do it anymore, because of my f*cking “standards”. As soon as I start to screen a girl, I begin to disqualify her. Things like: “Yeah, she looks decent, but no it’s not quite it, next. Oh, that’s a weird smile; I expected a sexy smile, next. Hmm great she looks perfect, ooh damn, her ass is a too small, next.” And the worst thing is. I’m proud of having those high standards so I can’t get rid of them in order to approach/close more girls. I think I found an explanation for having those standards. In the past, I dated a lot of girls whom I met during the night in club and bars. But always, yes ALWAYS, I was disappointed by their looks on a day 2. It seems that a girl might look great in a club but not-so-great when I see them again during the day. I don’t want this anymore. I’ve hurt a girl’s feelings many times when I have to say that this won’t work out. So having those high standards is like having a shield for not hurting those girls anymore when on a day 2. This fact made me decide to give up night game a couple of months ago and started day gaming. I have to say that day game is a lot more trustworthy when it comes to screening for her looks. No alcohol, no loud noises, bright daylight, relaxed SPAM. Day game was satisfying for me for the first few weeks, but then again, those disappointing day 2’s started to kick in. Again, I lost interest in the girl and I couldn’t bring it to a full close. To make things worse, I’m inclined to disqualify a girl during the day too now! So this is also negatively affecting my number of day game approaches. I’m fed up of doing all the work for having the same result: a disappointing day 2, I lose interest, I hurt her feelings by saying “this won’t work out”. I don’t know what to do anymore. Somehow, I need to get motivated again! I want to please a girl (most lovely playful emotional funny cute little creatures on this planet ) and stop being afraid of hurting her feelings. It’s complicated. Thanks for reading and I hope to hear some advice/comments/tips/suggestions/anything! Are you sure that you are the one rejecting them because of the way they look or is it that they show no interest in you and hence you are protecting your self from being hurt. Are you in denial !! Do you have a 100% approach and opening rate ? Do every girl you approach attracted to you ? Have you ever stopped to think for once that you may not be their type and that they aren't interested in putting in the efforts to look good for you on Day 2. Why don't you try this. approach every girl you see and get their number. Just as a test to check weather you are as attractive to women as you think you are (and this is just a suggestion, I'm not doubting that you are good looking). But just try this. walk away with 8-10 numbers on a given night and then turn them to have 5-6 dates in the next 2 weeks. I am just asking for an invest. of just 2 weeks from you. If you can pull of 5-6 dates in 2 weeks that would tell you that you are truely a cut above the rest. Other wise it would tell you that there are parts of your personality that is turning women (even those who dont meet your standards off) and that you need to work on your self. Or else, I'd suggest to go down to LA and hang out at the clubs that celebrities do and check whether you see any celeb that meets your standards and whether you can get them. Its all about improving your self

Author:	Ezo [ Sun Jan 03, 2010 10:42 am ]
Post subject:
Come on! I have seen this behaviour countless times! It is a way to rationalize that you dont wanna do the approach. During my hardest training I went out with my wing, he told me that there was a set behind me, I turned and started my opener before I even knew what they looked like. It is not important, just practice. You need to stop seeing a girl as just a potential mate, she is also and for you more importantly a practice session.

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Author:	Mister Boss [ Sun Jan 03, 2010 12:29 pm ]
Post subject:
Good! I needed this guys, thanks. I know I'm not 100% interested in those girls yet, but I'll will plough through. I think it's too early to state that I'm too good for those girls. Let's do another 100 approaches Again, thanks for the wake-up call! Cheers,

Author:	Mister Boss [ Thu Jan 14, 2010 12:27 pm ]
Post subject:
A little update... I think I'm cured! I went on a day 2 with this girl whom I approached about a week ago, and she is lovely! I had no expectations this time, so I couldn't get disappointed on the day 2. Continue dating without having any expectations is the right thing for me.

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