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What are we supposed to be confident about??? HELP please
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Author:  Stylz [ Sun Oct 18, 2009 5:44 am ]
Post subject:  What are we supposed to be confident about??? HELP please
Hey guys. I have been having this problem my whole life. No amount of analyzing, studying pickup, or working the field has been able to clear it up for me so I figured "What the hell" I'll make a post and see what you guys, or girls, have to say. Throughout my life I have been an UNconfident guy. I have, however, become a hell of a lot better with time in the game, but I still don't have the whole confidence thing concurred yet. :? So here's my deal, when I was young (and stupid) I had a lot of medical problems, I wore 1" thick glasses, my chest was incaved, my spine was curved, I had a shit ton of pimples, and because I have a heart problem I'm skinny. Because I thought women put the same amount of weight on looks as we guys do I had some inner issues to say the least. Now over time a lot of these "embarrassing" things went away, I got contacts, surgery, ect. so I didn't have things to be "embarrassed" about anymore, however, I didn't have the success or the inner confidence that I thought I would have when these things got fixed. So I went about every aspect of my physical being and enhanced it. Then I surrounded myself with material goods, but none of this made me too much more confident about myself. THEN I FOUND DAVID DEANGELO. Wow did he ever help me out. So I DID become more confident, BUT for some reason I still don't feel as confident as I should. It's like I KNOW that I should be super confident, a know so much more than most guys out there, but I don't know why any woman would want to be with me, a skinny guy (limiting belief, yes I know) when they could be with a buff manly man. I guess I am looking for something I can do/possess that would make me FEEL that amazing feeling that all us guys want to feel...CONFIDENCE!!! I know that it isn't about some crazy skill that I can do or some amazing car/house/job that will make me confident, and that brings up the question "What are us guys supposed to be confident about?" After long and grueling hours of thinking about this I honestly don't have an answer. Even in "inner game" training programs they don't REALLY address this issue, the most important of all issues. They do touch on it, but not as much as they should. I know that once I have this one issue down my game will EXPLODE! So if ANYONE has ANYTHING that can help me out, I would be so happy you can't even imagine. :D
Author:  Jlax [ Sun Oct 18, 2009 7:32 am ]
Post subject: 
Psycho cybernetice- Maxwell Maltz. Check it out its exactly for people who have identity changes and still have inner problems. Look it up on amazon they have a good review of whats it about.


Take care
Author:  Chief [ Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:55 am ]
Post subject: 
focus-your-confidence-vt29764.html
Author:  Stylz [ Sun Oct 18, 2009 4:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hey chief where can I find Sinn's "Game Acceleration" document?
Author:  xibuz [ Sun Oct 18, 2009 5:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Based on your post, I think that your inner confidence and self image would greatly benefit from taking up bodybuilding (if you're able to). Regardless of how visible buff you get, the testosterone surges and incresed strength you develop in the gym can do wonders for confidence building.
Author:  Stylz [ Sun Oct 18, 2009 5:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Westside that is a good suggestion, however, you missed the point of the question. Being confident isn't about being buff or getting a testosterone boost for the short time. See it's good to get that boost, but that isn't helping anyone out in the long run to become strong inside. See here's the problem with the whole community, everyone wants "material, material, material" "how can we fake confidence and make her think I'm high status?" Why not just BE that high status male that we are trying to fake? But here's the thing if everyone would take a little while and not focus on the 'what to do' but instead how to become strong on the inside. I'm sure a lot of guys in the community would agree that at some time in there PUA career that they have reached a point when the women in their life "found out" that they were just faking the whole "I'm confident" bit and leave the PUA. So what I want to do is become extremely strong on the inside and everything will just work itself out. If you think about it everything comes down to what you feel inside. If you feel confident then all the things that we work so hard to accomplish would come naturally. Take body language for example, if you feel confident you will always have great body language and if you don't feel embarrassed when a "total ten" comes into the room then your body language will show it. So I'm really trying to work on becoming unshakable on the inside, and any more suggestions from any members that have a GOOD answer is welcome. :D
Author:  Chief [ Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:30 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Hey chief where can I find Sinn's "Game Acceleration" document?
http://www.sinnsofattraction.com/game_d ... ration.pdf

distributed for free by courtesy of Sinn himself
Author:  itsthehurricane [ Mon Nov 09, 2009 7:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
Answer my questions: What is being confident to you? What does confidence look like to you? Who has the confidence you admire? In your mind, how does confidence play out in reality?

The only truth that exists is that there in no truth. Paradoxal; yes (Just keep with it). Design in your mind what confidence is, regardless of what websters dictionary claims it is, and BE it. Create in your reality what the truth is about a confident man, and BE that man.

Everything you hear from others will be their own truths, and will not fully inspire you.

Cheers
Author:  DonPua [ Wed Nov 11, 2009 2:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Westside that is a good suggestion, however, you missed the point of the question. Being confident isn't about being buff or getting a testosterone boost for the short time. See it's good to get that boost, but that isn't helping anyone out in the long run to become strong inside. See here's the problem with the whole community, everyone wants "material, material, material" "how can we fake confidence and make her think I'm high status?" Why not just BE that high status male that we are trying to fake? But here's the thing if everyone would take a little while and not focus on the 'what to do' but instead how to become strong on the inside. I'm sure a lot of guys in the community would agree that at some time in there PUA career that they have reached a point when the women in their life "found out" that they were just faking the whole "I'm confident" bit and leave the PUA. So what I want to do is become extremely strong on the inside and everything will just work itself out. If you think about it everything comes down to what you feel inside. If you feel confident then all the things that we work so hard to accomplish would come naturally. Take body language for example, if you feel confident you will always have great body language and if you don't feel embarrassed when a "total ten" comes into the room then your body language will show it. So I'm really trying to work on becoming unshakable on the inside, and any more suggestions from any members that have a GOOD answer is welcome. :D
I don't think PUA means to fake confidence. The purpose is to become confident, not to fake it. Actually, I had (and to some extent still have) the same problem as you. My limiting belief has always been that as a son of foreign parents girls wouldn't accept me. I have a reason to be limited by this belief because during my entire life I experienced many occasions of racism towards me. What helped me to increase my confidence is something I read in this forum. There was a guy that made a list of 10 sentences that you should tell yourself in the mirror each morning. The list was like:

1. I am a sexy mf.
2. Girls love me.
3. Girls want to make eye contact with me.
4. I am a relaxed and cool guy.
5. I am so money.
6. I am the leader of men.
7. I love myself.
8. Girls all want to have sex with me.
9. Everyone wants to be with me and talk to me.
10. (don't remember but maybe you can put here:) I am the most confident guy in the world and girls love me for that.

When I first read it I thought "what a stupid advice is this ?". But I just tried it and it really boosted my confidence because at some point you are really going to believe these 10 sentences. The funny thing is that if you really feel confident, you suddenly notice more interest from girls which increases your confidence again.

Also, never listen to anyone, not even your friends. I experienced that whenever I was interested in a really hot woman some of my friends told like "You are crazy. She is too hot for us. She will never go out with you.". Don't listen to that. That is bs. I lost many opportunities with HB because these stupid friends. There are no limits when it comes to dating. Last week I met a HB and my past friends would have said "No, too hot for you.". Well, guess what ? I went talk to her, had a very good conversation with her and we will meet again this week. Always ignore everything that is not suiting your confidence.

Also, try to peacock when you go out. Wear some interesting stuff so you catch attention of women. If you wear a good peacock item girls will for 100 % approach you. This will again give you a confidence boost.

I hoped this will help you to gain some more self confidence.
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