PUA Forum :: Help me please

Guys, I am slipping slowly back into a vicious circle of negative self-belief..

I want to know how you guys do it, if you do actually do it.. how do you, and other people people stay on form, happy and confident in their own skin all the time? I am always so inconsistent in life, some days I wake up and feel energetic, social and really confident, talk to people alot and don't care what others think of me and everyone wants to be friends with me, and some days I wake up feeling like shit and convey it to everyone, hate my friends and can't be comfortable in my surroundings or with who I am as a person, but I just can't figure out why, maybe I'm worrying too much..

I used to be a very happy person but through getting pretty bad skin issues about a year ago and being too cripplingly shy to approach women until recently, I have started to slip.

You know that feeling when your on a roll? You feel really attractive, comfortable and dominant, like nothing in the world can touch you and even if someone says something harsh about you you don't even acknowledge it because your so happy in yourself and know their the ones that are insecure? I want that feeling all the time, and whenever I get it, I try to clutch on to it so damn hard that when it slips away I feel like I will never have it again and I feel down afterwards..

I want to learn to be less conscious of my self and stop over analysing situations and stop thinking so hard about what I say.. but it seems so damn hard. Am I alone in this or does anyone feel the same way?

Sorry about the 'wall of text' - thanks for any answers, if I get any.

Author:	Korruptx [ Mon Mar 16, 2009 8:57 pm ]
Post subject:	Help me please
Guys, I am slipping slowly back into a vicious circle of negative self-belief.. I want to know how you guys do it, if you do actually do it.. how do you, and other people people stay on form, happy and confident in their own skin all the time? I am always so inconsistent in life, some days I wake up and feel energetic, social and really confident, talk to people alot and don't care what others think of me and everyone wants to be friends with me, and some days I wake up feeling like shit and convey it to everyone, hate my friends and can't be comfortable in my surroundings or with who I am as a person, but I just can't figure out why, maybe I'm worrying too much.. I used to be a very happy person but through getting pretty bad skin issues about a year ago and being too cripplingly shy to approach women until recently, I have started to slip. You know that feeling when your on a roll? You feel really attractive, comfortable and dominant, like nothing in the world can touch you and even if someone says something harsh about you you don't even acknowledge it because your so happy in yourself and know their the ones that are insecure? I want that feeling all the time, and whenever I get it, I try to clutch on to it so damn hard that when it slips away I feel like I will never have it again and I feel down afterwards.. I want to learn to be less conscious of my self and stop over analysing situations and stop thinking so hard about what I say.. but it seems so damn hard. Am I alone in this or does anyone feel the same way? Sorry about the 'wall of text' - thanks for any answers, if I get any.

Author:	JSmooth [ Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:13 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Guys, I am slipping slowly back into a vicious circle of negative self-belief.. I want to know how you guys do it, if you do actually do it.. how do you, and other people people stay on form, happy and confident in their own skin all the time? I am always so inconsistent in life, some days I wake up and feel energetic, social and really confident, talk to people alot and don't care what others think of me and everyone wants to be friends with me, and some days I wake up feeling like shit and convey it to everyone, hate my friends and can't be comfortable in my surroundings or with who I am as a person, but I just can't figure out why, maybe I'm worrying too much.. I don't truly believe anyone is happy in their own skin all the time. I think everyone goes through what you are going through at some point in time. There are some people who wake up and have the "gift" to be naturally motivated people. Others have to work on making it a "habbit" of having a positive attitude. I am one of the ones that have to "work on it." It takes a daily thing of getting up and doing things that make you happier. It also involves avoiding negatives in your life and filtering what your mind takes in. For example I limit how much news I watch because of the overwhelming negative and sad content. Some of this is obviously inner game as well. Developing your solid inner game and frame will get you better with being more comfortable with who you are. It does sound like you are worrying too much. Quote: I used to be a very happy person but through getting pretty bad skin issues about a year ago and being too cripplingly shy to approach women until recently, I have started to slip. I know the feeling for that cause I have some skin issues as well that I had to get under control. There are tons of excuses in life for not doing things. I can understand how it effects you mentally better than most though. You might want to seriously consider talking to a psychiatrist and/or psychologist. Quote: You know that feeling when your on a roll? You feel really attractive, comfortable and dominant, like nothing in the world can touch you and even if someone says something harsh about you you don't even acknowledge it because your so happy in yourself and know their the ones that are insecure? I want that feeling all the time, and whenever I get it, I try to clutch on to it so damn hard that when it slips away I feel like I will never have it again and I feel down afterwards.. You are talking about being in state. The thing about it is most people believe it's outward things that effect your being in that state or not. What you eventually come to realize is that you are "state" and your body is. The mind only makes the decision the body wants it to. I like what Tyler Durden wrote about State Control... http://www.seductiontuition.com/tyler-d ... ntrol.html Quote: I want to learn to be less conscious of my self and stop over analysing situations and stop thinking so hard about what I say.. but it seems so damn hard. Am I alone in this or does anyone feel the same way? Sorry about the 'wall of text' - thanks for any answers, if I get any. I have an analytical personality regardless so it was really hard for me to stop this. Actually, it has been figured out that smarter people will have a more difficult time staying out of their head in field. They have benefited all their life from sitting back analyzing and making the right decisions. The problem is most of the time opportunities pass us by before we make that decision. Getting out of your head is a matter of doing this more so that it is in your automated response more. Also, forcing yourself out of your comfort zone in awkward situations. Force yourself to stay in sets longer and say something. Anyways, I know that was a lot but I feel you on this man. It is a struggle to stay out of my head even now, but the more I've been out there, the easier it got. Being in your head is enemy #1 for me in field.

Author:	Korruptx [ Tue Mar 17, 2009 10:53 am ]
Post subject:
Thanks man you always seem to have good answers, that was what I was looking for. Cheers from the UK

Author:	The_Seeker [ Tue Mar 17, 2009 11:47 am ]
Post subject:
Hey man I can relate to a lot of what you said there. I have real problems staying positive myself and trying to get what I want out of life. I am very self conscious also. For some time I have been very frustrated with myself and my lifestyle but I am determined to change things. I think the best way to try and stay on top of things is to constantly set yourself goals, however small, and work towards them. At the moment I am concentrating solely on my inner game and trying to get to the bottom of my anxiety issues. You have to keep pushing yourself to feel better even if you feel like shit. Sometimes, there is no logical explanation why you feel like shit but you just have to "keep on keeping on" as they say. Its not easy I know. Good luck man

Author:	done [ Wed Mar 18, 2009 5:22 am ]
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I consider myself to be an analytical person and people will describe me introverted at time. On any given problem, you will spontaneously come up with several solutions. Lets say three will come up to you. Now you may decide to weigh the pro or con. What ive come to realize, the most spontaneous solutions tend to be the ones you stick to. The post-analysis tend to be some form of self-justification. So at that point, thinking about it avails to be an awesome waste of time. Youre better just flipping a coin to decide which spontaneous solutions to follow. The first one tend to be the best. As a matter of experience, the spontaneous solutions will recalibrate themselves to the most optimal scenario by itself. Its a bit hard to comprehend because you decide to let go control of your thinking process. But a search algorithm can be based on a random start. And on most cases, are more optimal to finding the result than one that is systematic and thorough. On a more intuitive sense, you dont will your body to become stronger. Only through real activities, does it become stronger. By analogy, you cant will your mind to be smarter. You just have to put it in situations where its do or die. Personnally, by living this way i tend to stay more or less on top of things. Last time i got depressed was because i felt i was reaching my objectives (not PU related) too easily... it made life really dull somehow knowing that everything was going to be alright. Crazy, no? After awhile , history is strong enough not to let you slip in self-doubt. When you recall, all the encouragements, trust, challenges, problems, and the whole is more than you can remember, you stop doubting yourself. That is for confidence, anyways.

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Author:	Jlax [ Sat Mar 21, 2009 3:58 am ]
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I know where your coming from. I had the same problem over the summer. I went to Lithuania went to tryout for a national basketball team and didn't make it. Basketballs pretty much my life and after not making the team I was really depressed had low self esteem and wasnt nearly as close as confident as I used to be. When I got back all my friends were neglecting me and ignoring me. I was acting too needy I didn't think I was good enough and that depression I thought I was never gonna get over. But I did. I made new friends got out more and did what I love to do. Now I overcame this and you can overcome it too. Read David L prestons book 365 ways to self confidence and self esteem. This I think is what help me overcome my fears of what people think and being inconsistent in life. You can find this ebook on 4shared.com and read the whole thing. Pm me if it helped you out at all.

Author:	echo35 [ Tue Apr 21, 2009 7:26 am ]
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u ever been in the water trying to grab something and the more u try the further away it gets. stop trying and it will naturally float towards you. stop thinking so much and it will come naturally. im sure u have the skills so stop worrying and as for the skin, stop worrying about that too, my wing is a right ugly bastard and he scores every night. much love, create your own reality and live it. keep in touch. echo

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