| PUA Forum https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/ |
|
| An irrational fear https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=41410 |
Page 1 of 1 |
| Author: | Fedster [ Fri Mar 13, 2009 7:25 am ] |
| Post subject: | An irrational fear |
This may sound (very) weird, but I have this fear that I will spill someones glass/bottle/whatever as I run my opener, spilling the contents all over the set. I'm not naturally clumsy, nor has this ever happened to me, but it's nagging me to the extent I'm getting afraid of opening sets. I've tried visualising without the spilling, but somehow the thought comes creeping back in my head. Has anybody else had any irrational fears like this, or any advice on how to overcome this? |
|
| Author: | chips [ Sat Mar 14, 2009 1:36 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
What's the worst that can happen? You spill it, apologise, then they kill you. The best? You spill it, apologise, then realise the target is covered, so you and her go off somewhere to clean up, then you take off her wet clothes... |
|
| Author: | Jlax [ Thu Mar 19, 2009 4:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
The Inner Critic is that pernicious little voice inside your head that constantly carps, complains and condemns. It is the voice that sows doubt – ‘Yes... but.... supposing. You’re rubbish at that you know you are. It will all go wrong, it always does!’ If you let thoughts such as these go unchallenged you give the Inner Critic the power to destroy your confidence and lower your self-esteem. You must learn to tell it to shut up, stop being silly and go away. Then change the thoughts to something positive. This is the second of the Four Steps, Thought Stopping. It can be used in any instant, and has an immediate effect. This way you may not prevent negative thoughts entering your mind, but you can render them powerless. Step 1. As you listen in on your self-talk, step back and observe. Ask yourself. ‘Why am I thinking that thought? Where is it taking me? Does it help me feel confident?’ Step 2. When you become aware of a negative thought, use Thought Stopping. Interrupt the unwanted thought by saying firmly. ‘No!’ ‘Stop!’ ‘Go away!’ ‘Delete!’ or some other word or phrase of your choice. Do this silently or aloud (out loud is best, if circumstances permit). Step 3. The mind is not a vacuum; you cannot not think. Moreover, you can only think one conscious thought at a time (if you don’t believe me, try thinking two thoughts at once – impossible!). So once you’ve dispensed with the unwanted thought immediately replace it with another, to prevent another unwanted thought popping into your conscious mind. If you can’t think of an appropriate thought immediately, use an affirmation, such as: ‘I like myself.’ ‘I am a strong and worthy person.’ ‘I’m perfect just as I am.’ Step 4. Now take the Thought Stopping technique a stage further. As you detach yourself from an unwanted thought, simultaneously stomp your feet, pinch yourself, slap your thigh or bang on a table etc. Be sensible: obviously there are times and places when this is inconvenient, or even dangerous, so use your discretion. Step 5. Try this alternative form of Thought Stopping. When you notice a disempowering thought, have a good snigger to yourself: just laugh at its nonsense. Say, ‘So you’re the thought? Ha! Ha!’, or ‘Oops! There goes another one!’ Then allow yourself a warm inner smile. Step 6. Make yourself very comfortable, either sitting or lying down. Close your eyes. take a few deep breaths and imagine there is a little person sweeping up the doubting, anxious, useless, self-deprecating thoughts into a pile of dust in the centre of your head. When they’re all swept up, ‘blow’ the dust out of your mouth and ‘watch’ it disperse into the SPAM. Affirm to yourself that the negative thoughts won’t trouble you again. Notice how you feel. This works particularly well when you are stressed or anxious. Step 7. When you first use the Four Step Formula you will encounter resistance. Your subconscious wants to hang on to existing habits, because this is how it’s designed to operate. If it tries to sabotage your progress for instance, by making you feel as if you’re lying to yourself, don’t let it! It takes about a month to change a thinking pattern permanently, so keep at it, be patient and don’t castigate yourself if you slip up. There’s no point in replacing one negative thought with another. David L Preston |
|
| Page 1 of 1 | All times are UTC |
| Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/ |
|