PUA Forum
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/

The Burden of Leadership
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=25763		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  Chief [ Sat Aug 02, 2008 9:08 am ]
Post subject:  The Burden of Leadership
Let me tell you about one of the biggest mistakes a lot of guys make when they're interacting with women.

This one thing annoys the FUCK out of women.

If a guy does this to a girl, it makes her feel like he's sucking blood straight from her veins to keep himself alive. It then becomes impossible for her to feel attraction for him.

I once asked an AFC to visualize himself walking up to a woman he found attractive and talking to her. When he described the sarge he pictured in his head to me, I found something quite troubling. In the little movie he created in his mind, everything that caused the sarge to move forward was external. In his story, the girl conveniently provided him with all the opportunities for him to number-close, time bridge, kiss-close, etc. She also carried most of the conversation. Nothing was the result of his own leading actions. In the frame of reality he chose for himself, a sarge could only be successful if "fate" would allow it.

Now, I'm not writing this article to harp on the importance of having an Internal Locus of Control. That shit's basic. What I want to stress here is what I consider to be the number 1 factor of MY game: Leading Frame.

I recently attended a pickup workshop with Daniel Becerra and Nick Krygier. During one of the drills, I pretended to be a girl in a book store while one of the other students had to approach and strike up a conversation with me. He was a newbie, so he didn't really know what to do except open with "What are you reading?" I cut him some slack and responded positively with a shitload of different conversational hooks for him to grab hold of. Unfortunately, he went into that boring interview mode where he asked one question at a time while I just gave answers. It was obvious that I was carrying most of the conversation.

He was putting the BURDEN of leading the conversation onto my shoulders.

GIRLS HATE IT WHEN GUYS DO THIS. It is not in their feminine nature to LEAD their male sexual partner. This is why most traditional dances label the man as the leader and the woman as the follower. It's just an analogy for a sexual relationship.

This doesn't only apply to conversation, though. In this day and age, after the blossoming of political correctness and feminaziism, many men have simply given up on being men and surrendered their leadership position in several things, mistakenly thinking that it's what women have always wanted. (By "leadership position," I mean in the social interactions between men and women, not career opportunities.)

Well, first of all, that's NOT what women have always wanted. They've just wanted freedom from the objectification that came as a result of generations upon generations of sexual oppression. Men have suppressed womens' sexuality and now the women are fucking pissed. Now they want to indulge in their sexual liberation as much as they can. Now, how can women enjoy sex?

Well, let me tell you. Women won't be able to get turned on if they are burdened with masculine responsibilities such as leadership. They'll only be able to experience true pleasure if they surrender themselves to a REAL MAN who can lead them to the bed of paradise. Oh, and if you haven't figured it out already, sex is the root of all interactions between the sexes. It's all analogous to it.

OK, back to simple conversation. A guy is talking to a girl. If he leads the interaction, everything is right with the universe. If he gives up his masculine responsibility and dumps the burden of leadership upon HER shoulders, that's just fucked up.

In short, fucking MAN UP and take the lead. Take the lead for where the conversation is going, take the lead for how the logistics line up, take the lead in expressing your best self, and she will naturally feel an unwavering desire to follow suit.

Alright, Mr. Ambition, where are you leading her? Don't forget to keep whatever goal you have in mind solid. That's what men do. We have goals. However, stay zen and don't attach yourself to the outcome so you can allow yourself to live in the moment and enjoy each passing second of the interaction. Balance, my friend. Balance.
Author:  madals [ Sat Aug 02, 2008 9:40 am ]
Post subject: 
I love your posts Chief. Again very insightful and true.
Author:  JackOfNoTrades [ Sat Aug 02, 2008 11:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Nice work man, this is a very profound post. Taking charge is, in my opinion, the reason why direct game works.

- Jack
Author:  comebackkid13 [ Sun Aug 03, 2008 8:07 am ]
Post subject: 
Not to preach to the choir here but this is so true. Chief, you put into words exactly what used to be my problem my freshman year of college. Even when, looking back on it, girls that i built a strong attraction level with, would lose interest in me because i didnt know how to act, or rather be, the MAN of the interaction.

Props on the post chief.
Author:  Chief [ Sun Aug 03, 2008 10:55 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Not to preach to the choir here but this is so true. Chief, you put into words exactly what used to be my problem my freshman year of college. Even when, looking back on it, girls that i built a strong attraction level with, would lose interest in me because i didnt know how to act, or rather be, the MAN of the interaction.

Props on the post chief.
Thanks fellas.
This just reminded me of what this girl once told me. My freshman year of college, the first girl I slept with at school was a junior who was 20 years old or something like that, so that means she had a considerable amount of more experience than me.
Afterward, she complimented me by saying that she was surprised at how I knew exactly what to do to escalate smoothly from meet to close. Something like that, at least. Most guys she's been with usually just fumble around with a "I don't know what to do next" expression after she's topless.
Author:  justme16 [ Sun Aug 03, 2008 9:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
this just answered my question i had for weeks
Author:  tynacorp [ Mon Aug 04, 2008 3:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
I agree with your take on this issue but what do you do when you're not really a talker. While body language is always key you have to be good at BSing to get things going. Some of us just suck at this, so where do you go from that point?
Author:  Facher [ Mon Aug 04, 2008 4:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'd love to hear what feminists have to say about "women leading conversations will destroy relationships". Lol.

Very good post (Y)
Author:  Roads [ Mon Aug 04, 2008 4:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Good thread Chief. It's extremely important that the guy lead the conversation initially, and only fall back on the 50-50 conversational split when the girl starts to open up. Eventually, you'll find that the girl will do most of the talking, especially after she feels comfortable with you.
Author:  Chief [ Tue Aug 05, 2008 11:24 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I agree with your take on this issue but what do you do when you're not really a talker. While body language is always key you have to be good at BSing to get things going. Some of us just suck at this, so where do you go from that point?
Naw, dude. You don't have to bullshit anything to get things going. If you develop yourself to the point of actually being proud of who you are and seeing yourself as a genuinely cool guy, the absolute truth will be your best wingman.

"Developing yourself" doesn't exactly involve CHANGING who you are. It's actually a journey in which you discover your core and reshape your modes of expression to communicate what is most genuine and awesome about you. In simple terms, it's "being your best self."

Once you do that, BSing is the last thing you'll want to do.

Have you seen those myspace videos that Neil Strauss had for promoting Rules of The Game? In one of them, a guy sarges with his mouth duct-taped shut. You can still maintain leading frame without words. Words are only an extension of the communicative abilities you are born with. The core of your communicative abilities lies in the energy you generate, and you can do whatever the hell you want with that leading energy, whether it be expressing yourself through words, gestures, music, eye signals, writing, etc. Get creative. Pickup is an art, anyway.
Author:  Sexcellent [ Tue Aug 05, 2008 6:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
that is some awesome, life-changing advice right there. thanks man.
Author:  Bedrock [ Tue Aug 05, 2008 7:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
very good post chief. its an eye opener and really makes the reader look at themselves from outside the box i guess you could say
Author:  Incubus69 [ Mon Jan 19, 2009 6:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Good post chiefy! By the way the picture I smile and laugh. I know last night I must of got high off this girl's suave conditioner. LMAO! The thread is the relationship section.

I notice some things that I'll change shortly, first I have a need for women to like me. Second, I feel if they don't - it's my fault.

However, last night was great night - even thought the girl and I only made out. It opened a new door for me - it helped me take a look in woman eyes, on how hard it is to find the right guy then a woman thinks she finds a right guy it goes screwy. Also, last night I realized it's not me - it's not where I live or what I do - sometimes they don't know how to be with a guy that treats them genuinely as a person. Also, I connected her as a person and a woman with needs - not some thing I fuck then throw away. I know some guys mentalities are like this.

Also, last night helped me see what truly women really desire - happiness, to be loved and have someone that will be with them. Even though, last night didn't go well because I kept on putting my foot in my mouth at times. It's okay though - she'll miss me then text me or call me or whatever. If not - no big loss. I got to experience a great night last night with her even though it was kissing and cuddling.

Anyways, onto your thread - I laughed when you said that you had to pretend to be a girl at the work shop. I was like, "That's had to be interesting!" If you are hot! LOL! :p

Anyways, good post man! Check out mine.

viewtopic.php?p=204115#204115
Author:  casanovareborn [ Tue Jan 20, 2009 2:05 am ]
Post subject: 
Women want a man who will sweep them off their feet and take them away from the ordinary and into the world of the extraordinary. I will be that man. I will captain the ship and she will be my first mate, tagging along for the ride. :)
Author:  V1V [ Tue Jan 20, 2009 11:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
What a thread.
Page 1 of 2 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/