Saddest thing that ever happened to me



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PostPosted: Mon Jul 03, 2017 6:02 pm 
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I have this girl I think is the hottest thing ever (Biggest Oneitis Ever). After working out and getting in 10% better shape, improved my looks, fashion and everything, I also had a good day at work so my confidence was at its peak. I was in that mood, you know, what should I fear if I'm gonna die one day? I got all my courage together and asked that girl out. Her response? No, you cant never have a girl like me. Or something like that. No matter how much I work on self improvement, I will always be that shy kid who is nice to everyone and gets bullied. The best thing I can hope for is a 7 with low confidence. Get married and suffer a mediocre life. But that was not the key point of the story: she's dating the guy I hate the most in the entire world. He's taller, more handsome, but a small time thief and closer to her in age. I am 29, they are both in their early 20s.
I got over the rejection, but her dating him of all people?! That totally crushed any hope for me, for any constructive future


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 03, 2017 6:09 pm 
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The Grand Puba
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She sounds like a bitch.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 1:25 pm 
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What has worked for me recently:

- start focusing on what you have, not what you don't
- accept that some people will reject your offer, move on and chase the good energy that matches yours, don't fight it
- change your language; "happened to me" is victim speak, you are also telling yourself that you can only get this or that... start speaking to yourself nicer and you will feel it, the next time someone asks how are you going, say "I'm fantastic!" keep making these changes to your language and pretty soon you will be.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 6:25 pm 
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After working out and getting in 10% better shape, improved my looks, fashion and everything, I also had a good day at work so my confidence was at its peak
Although it didn't work out with that girl, you improved and that is a good thing. Due to oneitis, you don't see things objectively anymore. Been there done that. That girl is actually not that hot, you made her a goddess in your mind.

Because of the oneitis you put too much pressure on yourself, when you asked her out. You are actually asking her and give her the power to decide whether or not to go on a date. She sensed this and you were no longer a challenge for her. You are a nice guy, and nice guys are not attractive to these kind of girls.

This explains why she choosed that other guy specifically, he wasn't as nice to her as you were. AND that attracted her, my friend!

In the end, it is all trial and error. Accept this one and next time you will be better!


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2018 1:53 am 
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Hey, You had the opportunity and the courage to both approach and ask her out. You broke out of the most baseline oneitis problem. Leaving her on the pedestal, by continuing to strive to get better prove her wrong find someone not as good as she is but better.


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