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Acting confident finaly BUT Getting repressed by co-workers
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Author:  StarKing [ Wed Jan 28, 2015 4:56 am ]
Post subject:  Acting confident finaly BUT Getting repressed by co-workers
Hi.

I've been working in a cinema as a lobby boy for five years. For that entire period, I've been acting as a whimpy little boy among my co-workers. But as my way to move and talk didn't fit at all with my endless inner confidence, I've recently decided to act as a man, walking around like I was the king of the world, always looking at people in the eyes, talking with my man's voice.

It feels great ! 8)

My psychology changed, as did my co-workers change their way to act with me. While men became less friendly with me, girls started showing authority on me. They were giving lots of orders, trying to control my behavior, doing systematicaly the opposite of EVERYTHING I asked, even when I was giving simple advises. It's like an endless load of shit tests. I don't know why they're acting like this . . .

Things are escalating, and it's only been two weeks. If everyone is against me, I cannot hope to keep my job for long.

I want to keep being the man I am, but how do I fix my relationship with my co-workers ?

Thanks.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Jan 28, 2015 7:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Acting confident finaly BUT Getting repressed by co-work
Quote:
Hi.

I've been working in a cinema as a lobby boy for five years. For that entire period, I've been acting as a whimpy little boy among my co-workers. But as my way to move and talk didn't fit at all with my endless inner confidence, I've recently decided to act as a man, walking around like I was the king of the world, always looking at people in the eyes, talking with my man's voice.

It feels great ! 8)

My psychology changed, as did my co-workers change their way to act with me. While men became less friendly with me, girls started showing authority on me. They were giving lots of orders, trying to control my behavior, doing systematicaly the opposite of EVERYTHING I asked, even when I was giving simple advises. It's like an endless load of shit tests. I don't know why they're acting like this . . .

Things are escalating, and it's only been two weeks. If everyone is against me, I cannot hope to keep my job for long.

I want to keep being the man I am, but how do I fix my relationship with my co-workers ?

Thanks.
By truly not giving a fuck what others may think. They can smell the fear.
Author:  stingray007 [ Thu Jan 29, 2015 5:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Acting confident finaly BUT Getting repressed by co-work
Its because they have always seen you as a walk-over and now you are stamping your authority through your body language. You are acting with more maturity so they feel threatened and may even be frightened they may lose their jobs.

People will always act in their own self-interest.
Author:  Black Phantom [ Wed Feb 04, 2015 12:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Acting confident finaly BUT Getting repressed by co-work
This is one of the most common situations anyone will ever experience in their life.

Whenever you try to change, people around you won't like it - mainly because the way they
used to manipulate you doesn't work anymore - and they don't like it.

That being said, the reality is that even though you are trying to be confident, you probably still
feel a little freaked out because it is such a difference between who you were in the past and who
you're changing yourself into today.

Because of this, you may come on a bit too strong, and people just feel it as either disrespect, or plain
asshole behaviour from you.

Confidence has a price, and that is that people treat you like an equal person to them - so they will shit test
you, get all bitchy on you etc.

It's hard to do this in such a closed environment like your work.

I would really recommend you try to go out as much as possible, and practice your new found confidence OUTSIDE
of your work.

In other words, go to a bar and be confident. Go to a club and be confident. Go on the street and be confident.

Meet NEW people, and your self-image will slowly change.

At this point, you still have your old self-image, which is of a guy with low self-confidence. So everything you do
at this point is going to come across as a bit forced.

But that's OK. That's what you need to go through at this point.

Go out more, meet new people and as these new people see you and accept you as a confident person, you will
slowly change how you feel inside as a person. Your self image will change.

Then when you come back to work, you'll feel more natural and at ease with being confident.

Make sense?

And lastly, what ever you do, don't try to provoke a fight or a conflict at work if you like working there.

Be decisive about yourself, but don't try to force your behaviour onto others. Your power will come, you
just need to get out more and practice this with NEW people.

Hope this helps, and if you feel anxiety about approaching a woman, I invite you and anyone reading this
to join a small test group where I'm testing a new technique called Approach Anxiety Cure, which eliminates
your fear of approaching a woman in under an hour.

Details in the signature.

So follow the pointers I gave you above, and I think you'll be alright. We all went through this, keep up the good
work.
Author:  kasabi [ Wed Feb 04, 2015 3:20 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Acting confident finaly BUT Getting repressed by co-work
How do you expect to be treated as a career lobby boy? Whatever it is you think you are doing . . . confident, walking tall, talking deep, etc. . . drop it. You're making a mockery of yourself.

On the other hand, you could do the pretend to be cool act when you're in front of people who have never met you. Do you have a degree in drama? Ever play the starring role of your elementary school musical? I recommend studying the Broadway hit, West Side Story; dem broads will be ordering you around no more. . .
Author:  ruhri [ Wed Feb 04, 2015 6:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Acting confident finaly BUT Getting repressed by co-work
Just a few thoughts for you to think about.

1. Confident people do not need to impress upon others how confident they are. They don't need to prove it, they just are. Make any visual changes in a nonchalant manner and gradually. If you make it seem like you are just naturally coming out of your shell, people won't act resistant to the change because they won't really notice it. But if you have consistently acted one way for the whole five years they've known you and suddenly come back after a 24 hour period seeming to be someone totally different, it comes off as fake, needy and insecure.

2. Respect from a group of people is EARNED, and by the sound of it you have not done anything in the last five years while working with your coworkers to truly earn respect from them. To do that you'll need to tone your act down and pay your dues, so to speak, because that it is going to take a long time before they view you differently, see you as being on the same level as them and treat you with the respect you are trying to get from them right now. Gaining respect is a process just like anything else, and you cannot force it or rush it.

My recommendation to you is while at work focus on gradually becoming more fun to work with, while simultaneously turning yourself over time into the indispensable worker. Make people think you're just coming out of your shell. On your free time, go out whenever you can to just be social in new environments where people don't know and already have strongly formed opinions about you. Meet people, live it up and put yourself outside of your comfort zone whenever possible. Do that and one day you'll wake up and realize that you are exuding the way you feel about yourself inside on the outside as well, and that you aren't even trying anymore to do so.

Best of luck.
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