-Goof off on Tinder. Let it be a joke, and use it to practice talking to girls.

-Volunteer somewhere and meet everyone there. Be the nice guy that gets involved in the community that all the old lonely people at the shelter love to wave at.

-Exercise all over the place. Join a gym if that is your thing or if you run then go to popular trails.

-Never turn down an invitation to do something social unless you have a very legitimate excuse. If you hate going to bars, like me, then accept every invitation to a bar you get.

-Introduce yourself to everyone. If you are a student and you walk into a classroom, shake hands with everyone next to you.

-If you are talking to someone and it is time for you to go do something such as eat lunch, mention that they should tag along with you. You will get shot down. Do it anyways and take the mindset that you are just being polite and social by offering.



Find out if you have any common problems such as ADHD which may have an impact on your social skills and awareness of other people, and learn to cope with it effectively.

I used to sit on the floor in my parent's basement with a soldering iron and tweak video-game consoles. Introverted is not unfamiliar to me. I tell women that I meet how introverted I am openly, and they almost always laugh at me when I say that I am shy, saying "You are lying." It is true, and I laugh at it and incorporate it into my seduction. I am still the same introverted guy that I was when I was a 6' tall 75lb highschooler with a nerd-fro and an addition to MMORPGs. Two nights ago I woke up with bruises on my hips and a sore cock, courtesy of a very special and unique girl that I happened upon by chance the day before, and courtesy of a very unfortunate girl that had the misfortune of thinking that she could do better than me after begging for a wedding for 6 years. I have no job, no classes to attend, and nothing to do these few weeks, and I still spent at least four hours the next night trying to cut off one of my female contacts while still leaving her feeling special because I was struggling to juggle them all with nothing else to do. I am no "pickup artist" and these are not super models, but they are all beautiful individuals. But the woman that ends up with me permanently will be very lucky to have me, and I will be very lucky to have her.

You probably have something ingrained in you that is holding you back. A flaw that makes you unique and irreplaceable, but at the same time, is creating a barrier that prevents you from taking the next step in forming meaningful relationships with both men and women. You have to first conquer that, and the first step to conquering it is understanding it. Find out what it is, and then challenge it. I jumped out of a plane thinking that I was challenging myself, but it turns out my fear of heights is not what is holding me back, so now I put myself in the most uncomfortable social situations I can find. After every lay, I interrogate the girl to get whatever information I can to be a better version of myself, and sometimes I run her off by doing so but I walk them to the car and open the door for them with a smile on my face knowing that I am a better version of myself than I was the day before.

I've had the same problem as you and i'm still fighting with it, and i'm even a male underwear model so people can't understand that everyone can be lonely and depressed. I've even tried to kill myself twice.

For me, the way to cope with the loneliness is:

1) Fixed times for wake-up and fixed times to sleep. I get up everyday at 6 AM. Hit the gym at 7 AM and work/study starts at 9 AM. I am to bed no later than 11 PM. Every. Single. Day. If you're feeling lazy, just think that you're a soldier/athlete and act like it.

3) when you wake up, tidy your bed and before you go to bed clean up your room/apartment. The little things go a long way and you'll learn discipline from it.

2) Seriously, TALK to strangers. Humans are social creatures and nobody can live without other people. nd don't tell them your life story and how sad and lonely you are. Only talk about postive things. Being a PUA for me is all about positivity and taking care of yourself. Go to the gym and ask if they can help you with the exercise. Talk about sports or something. Go for a certain goal (i.e. play succesfully in a rugby team after one year from now) and keep that goal in mind during exercise

3) Exercise everyday for half an hour. If you have time, just walk long hikes instead of TV, video games or porn. The sunlight and exercise will do you well. If you encounter someone, just be friendly, smile and say hello -> See number 2

4) STOP with the video games, porn and alcohol altogether. Those things suck the dopamine right out of you. No more of an hour of TV and internet a day if you're alone. Set yourself as a rule: I don't watch TV by myself. It will force you to socialize and go outside.

5) See a psychiatrist. Being months or years alone fucks with your brain. Don't be too proud for it, medication and therapy can and will improve your life!


Give it time. The first couple of months of this new lifestyle will be hell on earth, since your body and brain needs to adjust dramatically, but after 6 months your mind is adjusted and within 1 year you're a new person! Keep your eyes on the prize


Btw, everything Bitework said is pure gold, i'm feeling a little bromance coming up in here!

You have successfully coped with being "alone" in the past, why would you need extra coping strategies for a future filled with people?

You seem confused, what do you actually want in one sentence?

Sounds as if you are doing everything you should be doing to better yourself and improve your self-image. However, I would highly suggest moving out of your parents house if at all possible. Independence is paramount to building self-esteem. If my apartment is a wreck, my social skills take a dive even if I am not consciously considering that I would be embarrassed to bring a girl home. It seems almost subconscious, as if I am protecting myself from exposing my lifestyle that I am not proud of at the moment. When I have my shit together and everything is in it's spot, my social skills greatly improve. There has been a direct correlation to having an organized and independent lifestyle that is my own and the number of women that seem genuinely interested in getting a firsthand look at that "lifestyle." If you live with your parents, even that might be subconsciously keeping you "guarded" because you don't want a girl to see that you live with your parents (even though it isn't a big deal) in the same way I become "guarded" when my apartment is not presentable. I would suggest doing whatever you can to make a bit more money so you can get a cheap place to live on your own. Simply being logistically prepared to bring a girl home and having nothing to be embarrassed about when doing so can greatly improve your game.

On the social skills side of things you should be inserting yourself into social situations more. If you are taking care of yourself as you say (aside from living on your own as I mentioned above) then that is the next step. Join clubs. Volunteer. Get a job working with people of both sexes or in service so you are forced to interact with people constantly (manual labor would be a poor choice because even though you will get fit, you wont be forced to interact with anyone but men, but working a cash register might be more beneficial). Take classes that you wouldn't normally, such as an art class that forces you to hang out with people and talk for hours on end in a relaxed studio environment, or take a strange physical education class like kayaking that forces you to do fun things and take trips with people. Break yourself in when it comes to talking to people.

Also, keep in mind what I said about ADHD. I have ADHD (inattentive type) which usually comes with social problems related to my inability to express emotion during conversation and slow reaction times which cause me get flustered and be unable to keep up in high energy conversation. Hyperactive type ADHD usually causes people to have social problems as well but for the opposite reason, as they express too much and inappropriate emotions during social interactions or say things that are out of place or somewhat abrasive. The key is to become adept at reading the other individuals emotions and how they are responding to what you are doing and saying, because in both cases it boils down to either ignoring or poorly judging how the other individual will respond to what you do and say.

Thank you for understanding me. I supposed you're right about being more independent. BTW, regarding your last post on my Hot single available women are too rare to find thread, my mom still advises me on a lot of the decisions I make and I usually follow them. I'll admit that to some extent she is a control freak and yet I still care about her a lot of course. Nevertheless, it's not like I am constantly around her like a puppy even when she is home. Also, she is always more than happy to let's go hang out with pretty whoever I want except for of course a real wierdo (in a bad way) or a creep. Also, she doesn't mind me dating any girl at least for the experience and practice, unless if she knew that a girl I decide to date was really unattractive and/or too crazy.

In addition, like you I actually also have had ADHD (predominantly inattentive type) for my whole life. It is interesting that you mention how it can cause slow reaction times in your communication thereby causing you get flustered and be unable to keep up in high energy conversation. I actually never realized that that was very much associated with ADHD (predominantly inattentive type), but now that I think back to my mid to late adolescence years, I used to have that problem a lot more. I still have to some extent, but not nearly as much as before.