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| Still affected by Judgements, Critisms and Perception https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=172449 |
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| Author: | super.sonic [ Mon Dec 02, 2013 1:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Still affected by Judgements, Critisms and Perception |
Whenever someone says something bad about me, I feel like punching someones face, Also I still care about what others would think of me that made me sometimes afraid to do stuff that I really like. That fails me to approach a certain girl because others would judge me, In short, social conditioning and fear of failure still affects me. I'm always protecting my image. So how do you fight this? |
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| Author: | Greek Angelos [ Mon Dec 02, 2013 1:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Still affected by Judgements, Critisms and Perception |
Leaving your comfort zone is the best way to take on board new experiences, especially in terms of social interaction. You could try saying something really weird (but that you find hilarious) to someone who you don't know, for example, a woman in a shopping centre. Actively seek a negative reaction, so that when you get that it isn't a big deal. Just do it for your own amusement, and you will learn that how new people perceive you is no big deal. As for protecting your image, just don't worry about your image. At the moment I have an image of you that is extremely defensive and unadventurous, purely because of how you regard yourself. Break down this barrier and your image could be whatever you like. As an example of going out and learning not to give a shit about how people think of you, just go up to someone and say: "This bloke came up to me, and he said 'you rotter'... I said 'you what?'"... much like in this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTifRi3qDkU If you find it hilarious then you really won't care what they think of you, and that is the right vibe to give off. |
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| Author: | Melodical [ Mon Dec 02, 2013 5:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Still affected by Judgements, Critisms and Perception |
Your locus of control is external and dependent on other people, it needs to internal like an inner pot of gold of esteem you can draw upon to absorb criticism into a black hole. Remember. If someone says something bad about you it's only an INVITATION to feel bad yourself. You can just as easily decline the invitation and throw it in the bin. |
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| Author: | Bruce-Wayne [ Thu Dec 05, 2013 1:23 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Still affected by Judgements, Critisms and Perception |
Other people don't make you feel bad, YOU make YOURSELF feel bad. Other people are just the trigger. You already feel bad about yourself deep down, and other people just trigger you to access these feelings. If you were Brad Pitt, and someone called you ugly, would you get upset? No. Because you know you're not ugly. But if (you think) you're weird, unattractive, and not good enough, then if someone else thinks you're weird, and unattractive, then that will just trigger the feelings that were waiting to come up all along. If you KNOW you're not weird and unattractive, then no matter how much shit other people give you, it won't affect you. |
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