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After a break-up
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Author:  Valdemar1 [ Sat Nov 30, 2013 5:53 pm ]
Post subject:  After a break-up
So i thought i could handle this without you guys' help, but i think i might need some advices ..

So basic info, we broke up 2 weeks ago, been together for a year, and had that hole we are meant to be thing... we broke up because i couldn't maintain my happiness, she was my whole world and everything, and it resulted in a lot of sadness...

at first, we wanted to break-up so in a year or two, we could get back together more mature, and maintain the relationship for good (also we talked about we could get back together after 2 weeks if things were to hard or something like that), however my mind has changed now.. 3 days after the break-up i met her (we go to the same highschool) and i could see that she had cried.. i then contacted her later that day, i guess i missed so much i felt in the trap. and it ended up with me missing her so much that i asked if she wanted to get back together, she was smarter i guess, and told me it wouldn't work out, she then said it probably would be best if we tried to forget about eachother.. Since that day i have actually felt i was the one who handled the break-up best..

Then last night i went to a club, a lot of friends came with me, including one who is now dating me ex girlfriend (i was with her for 2 month 3 years ago) and another girl who has a hatred at the girl i just dated for a year, the bassicaly cant stand eachother.. At the club i hug her, but we dont speak together the whole night.. later on as the night progresses i see that she is having a lot of fun and dances a lot... she then starts dancing with my older ex, and the just laugh a lot together, and they have never spoken before... ( at this point i am at good terms with my oldest ex) so i cant understand wtf is going on... and mostly i got hurted and angry with my ex whom i just broke up with... I don't really know if i still wants to be with her, but i do miss her a whole lot... and feel like crying though i am not able to right now..

also I feel like i am worht nothing, since my ex seems to just move on so quickly... i guess it is some what because my whole identification used to her, since i was with her the whole time... but i can't seem to find out how to get over her fastes... and feel better about my self again.. some told me that it is just my ego that is hurted since she might not love me anymore... but i am not sure...
Author:  GamesSN [ Sat Nov 30, 2013 6:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: After a break-up
She's playing a game. She wants to get at you even if you broke up amicably, she stills wants to know you value her.

All you need to do is have fun, not pay her attention and she will come running back to you. Just act normal with your friends, talk to randomers and have women come up to you. There's no real need to go overboard and score women or touch them up(Kino escalate), just let it be known that you're happy, unphased by the relationship and can have fun and enjoy yourself and that you're such a great guy everyone wants to be around you. It's essentially what she's doing to you. She will see this, either try out do you in acting unphased and happier or she'll collapse, get in a huff(like you did) and be angry and upset, feeling lonely without you.
Author:  Valdemar1 [ Sat Nov 30, 2013 7:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: After a break-up
Quote:
She's playing a game. She wants to get at you even if you broke up amicably, she stills wants to know you value her.

All you need to do is have fun, not pay her attention and she will come running back to you. Just act normal with your friends, talk to randomers and have women come up to you. There's no real need to go overboard and score women or touch them up(Kino escalate), just let it be known that you're happy, unphased by the relationship and can have fun and enjoy yourself and that you're such a great guy everyone wants to be around you. It's essentially what she's doing to you. She will see this, either try out do you in acting unphased and happier or she'll collapse, get in a huff(like you did) and be angry and upset, feeling lonely without you.
Thanks man i get what you are saying.. It is just hard going out and having fun due to two things..

First : the break-up made my confidence hit rock bottom, and SPAM i feel like no girl wants me, none at all, i have hitted on one woman irl (some on fb) and she rejected me, so i feel like i can't get any, and i have no value what so ever...

Second: i feel REALLY depressed, i heard that depression comes from your life not matching your blueprint and you feel unable to fix it. So i guess that it describes my situation pretty good. I cant feel happy with her, and i feel really unhappy without her. But i guess and hope that time will fix this, since it has only been 2 weeks? anyway, it really sucks feeling this way haha..
Author:  GamesSN [ Sat Nov 30, 2013 7:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: After a break-up
1st: Your goal isn't to pick up women. It's only been two weeks. I usually take a grace period of one month after a break up before I score other women... It's out of respect for myself and my ex. So scratch that off your list of problems, if you do talk to women it's just for fun, being friendly.

2nd: Just put on a smile and act happy. It's simple but it's hard at the same time. Don't drink too much, smile a lot, don't pay her attention and keep up with your friends. Be busy and start going to the gym or get some weights for at home. You'll naturally start to feel happier... Also, try crying one of the nights before you go to sleep. You will actually feel a lot better.
Author:  Valdemar1 [ Tue Dec 03, 2013 6:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: After a break-up
She just wrote me...

Her: I want you to know that its hard on me aswell, hope you are doing all right.

3 hours later

Her: Please answer me.

I didn't write her back, she talked to a mutual friend, who told her that i thought it was annoying bumping into her when we are going out...

I know it is hard on her as well, but that doesn't really change anything, it doesn't make me feel less lonely, or make me feel less like giving up on love and all that...

Should i write her back??
Author:  GamesSN [ Tue Dec 03, 2013 6:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: After a break-up
Men and women are different in regards to break ups and it's all down to how we handle things. As a man we're happy after a break up, we find it easier to handle after... but it hits us hard later down the road, that's when we show we care. With women they care more immediately than they do later on.

What i'm saying is after a break up is when a woman is most vulnerable to getting back with a guy. Usually you should give her a day or two freeze out then drop a simple message to keep in touch. It goes against the grain as most guys will instinctively push a woman as far away as possible only to come back or think about them much later.

If you freeze her out make sure it's not for too long and don't be too emotional.
Author:  Valdemar1 [ Tue Dec 03, 2013 1:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: After a break-up
Quote:
Men and women are different in regards to break ups and it's all down to how we handle things. As a man we're happy after a break up, we find it easier to handle after... but it hits us hard later down the road, that's when we show we care. With women they care more immediately than they do later on.

What i'm saying is after a break up is when a woman is most vulnerable to getting back with a guy. Usually you should give her a day or two freeze out then drop a simple message to keep in touch. It goes against the grain as most guys will instinctively push a woman as far away as possible only to come back or think about them much later.

If you freeze her out make sure it's not for too long and don't be too emotional.
Im not sure I agree with you on that. As far as personal experience goes, it is the opposite way around.. My earlier ex and i broke up, i was having a really hard time the first 2 weeks or so, and then i never regretted breaking up, she did though, and wanted to get back together 1-2 month after... 3 days after this break-up i wanted to get back together she said it wasn't a good idea.. And now i am hoping she is right and i never again will regret breaking up :)
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