I've been in the zone for a while now but my reality (leader of men, not giving a shit etc.) just shattered when I saw my first crush. We never got together because we were both too shy initially and later, when I had girlfriends, she would sabo my relationships by making me look weak, needy (which I was at the time since I wasn't centred.) As a result, now I don't particularly have any feelings for her - not anger, not crush... Nothing. At the same time, she pretends she's all angel like and innocent in breaking up my relationships. When I saw her today, part of me wanted to leave (that part prevailed), another part of me wanted to stare.. observe... almost enjoy the femininity I once treasured in her. I can't figure out why I'm reacting this way. Has anyone else had experience here?