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Inferiority/Superiority complex at new bars
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Author:  Bomber83 [ Sun Aug 25, 2013 6:18 am ]
Post subject:  Inferiority/Superiority complex at new bars
Sometimes I go out to a bar to hear local bands and post up with a drink with no intention to talk to anyone. I know girls check me out because I display the right body language, and by proximity they make themselves really easy for me to talk to... if i wanted to. Thats the problem. No matter how hot the girl is, I have zero interest in starting a conversation AT THE TIME. I almost have this stuck up feeling as if to say "yeah, i know you want me to talk to you, but I'm too good for you--I'm here for the music!" thing. I think I'd feel as if I'm socially obligated to carry on with them after, and babysit them if they are annoying. Either that or I feel I'd run the risk of looking like a try-hard in a bar where everyone seems to know each other already.

I don't have regrets about any specific interaction, just when I get home after I wish I had talked to somebody. Any tips on how to get out of your own mind while in the moment and lose the whole inferiority/superiority complex?
Author:  Eyrie [ Wed Aug 28, 2013 12:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Inferiority/Superiority complex at new bars
Quote:
Sometimes I go out to a bar to hear local bands and post up with a drink with no intention to talk to anyone. I know girls check me out because I display the right body language, and by proximity they make themselves really easy for me to talk to... if i wanted to. Thats the problem. No matter how hot the girl is, I have zero interest in starting a conversation AT THE TIME. I almost have this stuck up feeling as if to say "yeah, i know you want me to talk to you, but I'm too good for you--I'm here for the music!" thing. I think I'd feel as if I'm socially obligated to carry on with them after, and babysit them if they are annoying. Either that or I feel I'd run the risk of looking like a try-hard in a bar where everyone seems to know each other already.

I don't have regrets about any specific interaction, just when I get home after I wish I had talked to somebody. Any tips on how to get out of your own mind while in the moment and lose the whole inferiority/superiority complex?
^^I have been in this boat for over 6 months and only slowly edging out of it, I think if you sat down and thought about this for sometime you would have the answers to your questions.

First of the reason you are not starting conversations is anxiety, that rationalisation that you have zero interest is utter shit... The reality is that you are experiencing good emotions and you don't want to risk losing your good mood by confronting a fear( I mean who would?).

Next time you go bar just be aware of how you shoot down the thought of approaching .Actively focus on thinking about the approach and feel the anxiety that's associated with that thinking, the more you think about the more likely you are to do it anyway.

How to lose the inferiority/ superiority complex? Realising that this way of thinking is false and just stop thinking about it.

How to get out of your head? Force yourself to be sociable, break throw that anxiety that is keeping locked up in your head.... Another exercise that works is taking deep slow breaths( like meditative breathing) in the bar.
Author:  Slip n Slide [ Sun Sep 08, 2013 2:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Inferiority/Superiority complex at new bars
Stop jerking off.

Also, go to those places where you're comfortable with the intention of meeting women. You don't need any more reason to say hi than you thought she looked interesting. And you think all the ladies want you now, what if they saw you lift a girl up and spin her around, and still look like you owned the place. Every girl would wish she was in that fun position
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