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| A chill solo night https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=162487 |
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| Author: | Altereagle [ Fri May 17, 2013 7:34 pm ] |
| Post subject: | A chill solo night |
One thing I think PUA indirectly teaches and the beast teachers outright state that being part of the community is to help develop your self and ego not just women. For this reason, I think what I just experience was an important step in self-actualization . An important note here is that when I go out sarging or not, it is 95 percent of the time alone. I think developing yourself alone is an important part of being a true alpha male. Of Course, working with a wing, groups etc is good but knowing that you endured a shittest on your own without a wingman is a huge boost to yourself esteem because you see you can stand on your own and/or making sure other males show you enough respect (give you enough personal space, etc). And now to my story... I am not going to lie. I am a pretty good looking guy. When dressed appropriately I get quite a bit of female attention. I even have girls approach me from time to time. I do however still suffer from self esteem issues due to being unable to control my anxiety in high pressure situations. I feel overcoming this feeling is necessary to be alpha and I can't just fake it until I make it. So today was a day where I had another of those high stress situations. I had a job interview that could possibly be a cornerstone in my professional career. I went out and bought the best nicest shirt and tie I could buy, something to convey that maybe I could be the boss, executive,etc. I feel like this kind of thinking is necessary to be truly alpha as well. When I have the alpha side of me come through, it seems like arrogance I think because of lack of social status because it's so bizarre seeing guys twice my age (I'm 22) with less self confidence). However the second I put on this attire, I saw how women were countlessly trying to get my attention. I clean up very well and I am not too bad looking to begin with. Now a frame I have been starting internalize is Tyler Durden's idea of sexual abundance. Boy was it true for me today. However I still lack that alpha confidence. Crazy right? I know women literally want to rip my clothes off and yet I don't talk to them because I don't want to feel like a schmuck. Sidenote: I was going to make another post in regards to this but enduring shittests is key to a man's self esteem. Alex from RSD made a good point in stating that shittests are there to help the women in your life see how much control you can have in a situation and thought of in evolutionary terms such as that posited Mystery Method, that survival instinct is what women want from you and are willing to help teach you it. Why is this so important? Because congruency is really key to being alpha male. Thought of in philosophical terms, validity is the core issue not reliability. For valid reason remember that if you accept the premise, you must accept the conclusion. No matter what, a premise is an inference, it is the foundation of thought. So the goal is to make your own reality valid. Social conditioning only works on the basis of reliability which ironically is not logically sound because it causes you to generalize. Back to my story...(you'll see why that fits in here) So I go to the interview. They day before I had been studying NLP stuff; specifically trying to visualize myself as the hired employee in 3 years and how he would act rather than how I am at this stage of the game. The problem? I want to accept the premise but my subconscious won't let me. I am doing confidence exercises as much as possible and order chamomile tea to help alleviate my anxiety. However I am very conscious of the fact that I am 22 years old in clothes that someone with much more experience would wear. The idea behind this is that since my interview was working with a start up with room for growth, they could eventually picture me filling out those clothes in a managerial role over the years. However this only works if I convey enough confidence, otherwise the whole idea actually backfires. See why shittests are important now? So I have ordered my chamomile tea and decide to go to the park behind an office building and condo downtown where people hang out, executives being chief among them. As I walk the pathway to my horror I see what appears to be a rabid dog mouth wide open looking straight at me. I have had a pathological fear of dogs since childhood that has been tamed however that fear has never completely gone away. It was like I was making direct eye contact with the projection of my own fear and anxiety. I walked towards it maintaining eye contact but just felt this terrible sense of dread that this animal will attack me due to the nature of my fear. I am not ready to handle this. Thus I broke congruency with my own frame because I know the 'me' in 3 years working for the company in a more managerial or executive role would not be bothered by such a thing and would have faced the dog head on. Instead I turned around and scurried in the office building nearby. That's when I spilled tea on my tie. Sure enough, the jittery me was threatening to pop through in the interview. I went back to the park as I know the dog was gone by now and sat down as originally intended on a bench in the sun to help dry my tie and proceeded to review resume. I went in to the interview calm and relaxed, making sure to take a moment and do some breathing and relaxation before going in. I was then greeted by a gorgeous russian blond who told me to sit on the couch and then I awaited the interviewer so he could bring me to a room to interview me. I thought it went pretty well and think I have a good chance. However the amount of confidence I wanted to present I wanted to ideally was not there, I hope there was enough especially in concerns to my attire. So because I did not want to spend the rest of the day (evening) in my head thinking about it, I decided to go out after changing in to more club oriented attire. First, I ended up at this very chill spot at near the Annex in Toronto. Nobody really there when I arrived. I think cool, I know a place that is usually popping around there but mostly on weekends so I decide to see if that was the case on Thursday. Couldn't find the bar for some reason (probably not open) and decided to go to my usual spot first then the second usual spot as back up. First spot has massive line as always. I dread it and think of leaving as I am flying solo tonight. My luck changed though as 2 cute girls join me at the end of the line asking me where the line ended. One of the girls I heard speak portuguese and knew she was brazilian. I am half portuguese and half brazilian myself. We talk and fluff. We're inside and she and her cute japanese friend who was also into me are meeting with friends at a table. I give her my number and try to give her y number but she has to go and there's no time but tells me to kiss her on the cheek. I do it twice. We make a cultural joke about it and they leaves. At this point I had been the cool guy in the line that had made instant friends and now they just left so I needed to keep that positive momentum going. So I purchased a beer with my drink ticket and sat at the bar casually speaking to girls as they ordered drinks and came to me. Once my drink was done I went to the dancefloor to check it out. Lots of girls but talking to a girl over music seems like too much of hassle to me these days. So I just vibe out and head nod standing my ground watching for alpha males who may try to encroach my space and try to hold my own. That was when I run into some acquaintance from high school and chat him up. We didn't really have much to say to each other but it was gratifying to have that validation; that he was cool and I was cool and we can whattup to each other. After that, I went back upstairs where I saw the girls again who were talking to 2 guys. I thought of Amogging them but really I seem DLV if I am one and they are two and would also add that I don't own these girls, they want to have fun and I am in sexual abundance. So I left them to use the SPAM in the corner when I run into an old friend who I haven't seen in years. We talk for a bit about the old neighborhood and plan to meet up one day and he departs. It is a good night so far and I haven't made any closes. Again I get some nice validation, that I as myself am a cool guy. I stick around for a bit. I call a girl at like midnight and ask her what she's up too. She says something but I don't quite hear. She says goodnight. I go back inside and this one girl just comes right up to me and I say hi. I see she's with her friends. I see her again same thing happens lol. Not exactly sure how that one was supposed to work. I eventually leave to go to the next spot because there is no cover. I am walking down the strip where I meet two lovely girls who I casually tell where I'm going to see if they'll come along, the girls decide against it so I end up in the other club but the no cover deal is bullshit, so I split. I end up going to the venue where they're at. I always wanted to see the venue because I have heard of it and never knew where it was and my ex-girlfriend mentioned going there once. Place was kind of dead but it was cool because there were so few people, people were actually dancing and having a good time. I just watched and enjoyed the scene. I wasn't in there too and I did't have to pay cover, I just wanted to check out the digs. I ended up going back to the first spot to see if it was lively and it was like everybody just left except two musicians smoking weed. They give me a toke. They seemed pretty cool I left and ended up on the subway meeting a folk and blue grass guitarist. He was pretty cool and we talked for a bit. Got off on the same stop and went our separate ways. One of the most chill nights I experienced in my own city and for that I am grateful. Met some interesting people and saw some people that I once knew. Overall even though I made no closes I thought it was a very successful night. |
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