PUA Forum :: How to deal with people's snipes about you being single?

A lot of inner game teaches you to be confident in yourself so you don't communicate neediness and desperation when you interact with women. Although I do consider myself an independent person who isn't needy, I think there's one thing that is making me needy to be in a relationship, and this is the constant social stigma of being single. All my friends and colleagues have girlfriends, and people always have these little comments about me not having a girlfriend. Although it's not malicious, it's just things like "how come you don't have a girlfriend?" and "don't worry, you'll get a girlfriend" even when I was talking about a completely different subject. It doesn't help that I'm 31. My family's bugging me about it and it's getting annoying to the point I don't see them anymore.

I fear that this is going to make me desperate and that I'm going to show subtle signs of desperation and neediness when I talk to women. The reason I'm more into inner game than outer game is because I think if you are needy there are always going to be very subtle things which convey it which you won't know you're doing. I think these things are so subtle that "techniques" don't cover it up.

My question is how would you deal with these snipes and comments so you can convey being confident regardless of being single, so that you don't "overreach" when you're trying to pick up women?

Author:	grizzler [ Fri Feb 15, 2013 1:37 pm ]
Post subject:	How to deal with people's snipes about you being single?
A lot of inner game teaches you to be confident in yourself so you don't communicate neediness and desperation when you interact with women. Although I do consider myself an independent person who isn't needy, I think there's one thing that is making me needy to be in a relationship, and this is the constant social stigma of being single. All my friends and colleagues have girlfriends, and people always have these little comments about me not having a girlfriend. Although it's not malicious, it's just things like "how come you don't have a girlfriend?" and "don't worry, you'll get a girlfriend" even when I was talking about a completely different subject. It doesn't help that I'm 31. My family's bugging me about it and it's getting annoying to the point I don't see them anymore. I fear that this is going to make me desperate and that I'm going to show subtle signs of desperation and neediness when I talk to women. The reason I'm more into inner game than outer game is because I think if you are needy there are always going to be very subtle things which convey it which you won't know you're doing. I think these things are so subtle that "techniques" don't cover it up. My question is how would you deal with these snipes and comments so you can convey being confident regardless of being single, so that you don't "overreach" when you're trying to pick up women?

Author:	Warmth [ Fri Feb 15, 2013 2:17 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: How to deal with people's snipes about you being single?
Quote: A lot of inner game teaches you to be confident in yourself so you don't communicate neediness and desperation when you interact with women. Although I do consider myself an independent person who isn't needy, I think there's one thing that is making me needy to be in a relationship, and this is the constant social stigma of being single. All my friends and colleagues have girlfriends, and people always have these little comments about me not having a girlfriend. Although it's not malicious, it's just things like "how come you don't have a girlfriend?" and "don't worry, you'll get a girlfriend" even when I was talking about a completely different subject. It doesn't help that I'm 31. My family's bugging me about it and it's getting annoying to the point I don't see them anymore. I fear that this is going to make me desperate and that I'm going to show subtle signs of desperation and neediness when I talk to women. The reason I'm more into inner game than outer game is because I think if you are needy there are always going to be very subtle things which convey it which you won't know you're doing. I think these things are so subtle that "techniques" don't cover it up. My question is how would you deal with these snipes and comments so you can convey being confident regardless of being single, so that you don't "overreach" when you're trying to pick up women? Well, I´m 18 and I always feel that society is pushing you for a relationship. That is just how it is. When you hook up with someone, you don´t brag to your friends (well some guys do, for ego or learning). That´s because you are taught to want a relationship. Become independent from other peoples view on sex and you will achieve your goal.

Author:	EademMutataResurgo [ Fri Feb 15, 2013 7:50 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: How to deal with people's snipes about you being single?
Just don't give a fuck. Do this by either banging a hot chick every other night and get the external validation of an internal positive self-perception or destroy you ego and stop basing your own sense of worth on what other people think and external criteria. Both would be an ideal. Don't think think ego is a problem? If you were banging hundreds of girls would you care about a few comments about being single? No, you'd think they were crazy because you're having the time of your life. Do you feel like a pimp after pulling but like a loser after a night were everyone ignores or rejects you? That's ego I've had a massive problem with a cloaked ego, still do. I wouldn't go talk to that girl. I wouldn't make that joke. I wouldn't speak up and express my opinion. If you don't play you cant lose. And if you never lose your ego can pat itself on the back and delude itself in to whatever level of comfort it wants. It doesn't like having a positive perception challenged or a secret negative one reinforced, the mind (and body) react poorly to this. So I used to be worried that other people perceived me as a loser, the last thing my ego wants me to do is approach a girl and have her reject me and validate that insecurity. If I don't base my self-perception on external things (her reaction) then whether she rejects me or not is irrelevant and my self-perception can't be touched. If you don't approach then you've failed (an internality) and it will hurt your self-perception. So just base your self perception on your own actions. Did I take action. Was it in line with my own values? Did I ensure people respected my boundaries. So make yourself feel great for approaching a girl, not for getting a good reaction. Feel good for trying to escalate rather than her responding amazingly to it. Amuse yourself and have fun. That sorts out ego. For picking up chicks combine that mindset with the awesome game advice on here provided by the guys who are a 1000 times better than me lol. I might be well off the mark and sorry if it sounded preachy, I was just trying to put down the best advice I've given to myself

Author:	andyredsox [ Fri Mar 08, 2013 8:46 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How to deal with people's snipes about you being single?
Don't let their comments affect you. There is nothing wrong to be single in that age. You are a man, and I know you can find someone. You don't need to rush up all the things. Just do whatever you like, and don't let them bother you. Always have a positive thinking.

Author:	grizzler [ Sun Mar 10, 2013 7:37 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: How to deal with people's snipes about you being single?
Thanks for your comment I appreciate it. It's interesting that in any other endeavour being motivated and desperate would be a good thing, for instance comments about you being fat could motivate you to do a lot of exercise, which is a good thing and will work for you. However it's different when it comes to women and dating, being desperate and a bit too motivated to get a girlfriend is going to put women off. It's only when you're comfortable with yourself that you appear attractive. I should have known there was no magic answer to this and I'm just going to have learn to ignore the snidey little comments and take things at my own pace.

PUA Forum https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/

How to deal with people's snipes about you being single? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=156782	Page 1 of 1

Page 1 of 1	All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/