In this post I reveal a new mindset that occurred to me yesterday, it’s truly insane how I did not think of this before..
You probably think I’m joking right? Helping the girl get laid? We as guys tend to forget that girls love sex just as much as we do, but girls being the girls they are have a hard time finding a guy to fuck, this is a result of social conditioning and the woman’s natural mechanism to filter out chodes and beta males from the alpha males
One mindset that will TRULY CHANGE YOUR FUCKING LIFE is “I’m helping HER get laid”, this means that you acknowledge your value as a guy with a dick, and your only criteria for approaching is “offering her the opportunity to experience an adventure leading to her having amazing sex without any effort on her part”
This means that as a guy, your role in the mating game is to provide the girl with strong emotions and fully take care of the interaction from meeting to sex, this means you are offering her a chance to feel a roller-coaster of emotions and get laid without bearing ANY responsibility to making it happen
This means that you are the one who approaches the girl, you are the one who escalates the interaction, it is YOUR responsibility for her to be comfortable, and it is your responsibility to deal with the logistics and any objections she might have (fear of looking like a slut, for example)
Two examples of NOT taking full responsibility are:
- Waiting for the “perfect moment” to approach or looking for “the perfect line”, this is manipulative, you are thinking of the best moment or line to get a good reaction from her and feel good, instead what you should do is approach the moment you see her and NOT EXPECT ANY REACTION, remember – opening is just throwing yourself into the interaction and dealing with the bullshit.
Waiting for the “perfect moment” to escalate, again, you are not TAKING FULL RESPONSIBILITY for the interaction, you are looking for THE GIRL to GIVE YOU a SIGN that you HAVE PERMISSION to ESCALATE, this means you are putting the responsibilty on her for escalating. What you should do instead is escalate when YOU want to escalate and deal with the whatever happens after it happens (ie: making her feel comfortable, keeping the fun).
On the one-hand, this gives you amazing confidence in your abilities and relaxation because you no longer feel pressure to act a certain way or get a certain reaction, you could almost say you are “adopting” the girl on an adventure that’s destined to end in sex.
Not only that but this also make you stand out from 99% of guys who put the responsibility on the woman to give them good emotions and give them permission and validation to escalate the interaction, unlike you who is assured of himself enough to not TRY TO TAKE VALUE from the girl.
The other amazing benefit of coming from this mindset is that you are offering her something 99% of guys can’t offer, not only does this make you a rare commodity (makes girls look at you as “that guy”), it also gives you the option to withdraw this amazing gift you are presenting her (since 99% of guys won’t be able to offer her that), this means that she will be inclined to be on her best behavior because she knows you can just take it away and give it to some other cute girl with the same ease and fun..
What makes this mindset TRULY work is the fact that you are essentially 100% giving value, this means you are not trying to get a good reaction from her, you are not manipulating your behavior to get a reaction that will make you feel good (because you’re not attached to her reactions), you are LITERALLY SPAM free value and TAKING ALL OF THE RESPONSIBILITY for a sexual encounter to happen between the two of you, how many guys can do that?
This shift of mindset literally forces you to stop focusing on yourself when interacting with girls (Am I in state? Should I escalate? What should I say?) because this selfish frame comes from a place of “wanting it to work” and trying to take value (ie: get the girl to react a certain way) to validate you and MAKE YOU feel good.
This mindset instead forces you to focus on THE GIRL, it forces you to stay present to the moment and ask yourself “is she comfortable?”, “is she having fun?”, “have I handled the logistics for her?”, basically from the moment you open until sex you are throwing yourself into the situation and dealing with obstacles as they appear along the way.
Another great perk to this mindset is that you no longer have any confidence issues because instead of judging your performance by her reactions you are instead focused on TAKING 100% responsibility for the interaction (meaning you only focus on what you CAN DO at that exact moment to help you two end up in bed together without any repercussions for her).
There is no more “rejection”.. How can you get rejected when you offer a free Ferrari and the other person doesn’t accept? There is simply “lack of willingness to accept my gift”, which is their fault, because you truly offer it for free, no strings attached.
The only channel you are concerned about is that of TAKING FULL RESPONSIBILITY, and if the set is over and you did not fuck the girl you finally have a realistic criteria to analyze your actions and see where you’ve failed to take the responsibility for her.
This mindset of focusing only on performance and not self-image takes the “ego” or the “self-esteem” out of the equation and now the interaction is win-win for both of you because you both benefit from the experience, she enjoys being taken care of and led on an adventure that will end in awesome sex; You enjoy being a TRUE man and leading while also enjoying amazing sex!
Again what makes this mindset work is the fact that you are TAKING FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE INTERACTION, this means you approach with NO OUTCOME DEPENDANCE, you lead the conversation, you make sure she’s comfortable, you make sure you are both sharing good feeling, you lead, you handle the logistics, you deal with her concerns and YOU are the one who gets to fuck her tonight!
I will close with an awesome quote by Tyler from Real Social Dynamics:
“I can boil almost any sticking point down to a failure to lead. Whether it be physically, verbally, sexually, emotionally, the root cause is always the same.”
Peace!