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Difference in getting girls
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Author:  2young2bcaring [ Sun Jan 06, 2013 8:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Difference in getting girls
The last two years I've gotten plenty of girls, simply because I am charming and naturally good-looking and familiar with some basic PUA techniques, but I've always lost them because I start acting beta and turn needy. I've come to the conclusion that I only go after girls because I want to be needed, and typically these are girls that need saving.

My question is kind of threefold: How do you get rid of that neediness completely? Like as soon as they start showing interest in me, I very often get too interested and it backfires. Big time. How do I love myself and be in a relationship with myself? I find getting to know myself is almost like when Lassie is barking at her owners and they're thinking I really don't know what the f*** she wants. Maybe I've been surrounded by too many opinions already. I don't know what religion I am, what politics I truly believe in, or even if I like to read or not. I know what I tell people, but Hell I don't even know myself.

And thirdly, when this neediness comes about, how do you have the sense of mind to walk away?
Author:  enesta [ Sun Jan 06, 2013 11:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Difference in getting girls
Quote:
The last two years I've gotten plenty of girls, simply because I am charming and naturally good-looking and familiar with some basic PUA techniques, but I've always lost them because I start acting beta and turn needy. I've come to the conclusion that I only go after girls because I want to be needed, and typically these are girls that need saving.

My question is kind of threefold: How do you get rid of that neediness completely? Like as soon as they start showing interest in me, I very often get too interested and it backfires. Big time. How do I love myself and be in a relationship with myself? I find getting to know myself is almost like when Lassie is barking at her owners and they're thinking I really don't know what the f*** she wants. Maybe I've been surrounded by too many opinions already. I don't know what religion I am, what politics I truly believe in, or even if I like to read or not. I know what I tell people, but Hell I don't even know myself.

And thirdly, when this neediness comes about, how do you have the sense of mind to walk away?
It's a very good sign that you're asking this question, it means you're engaging life! You mentioned the fact that you don't know what religion you subscribe to, politics you believe in or if you like to read. Sounds to me like you aren't searching enough, then. I was in a similar situation as you when I was younger - and truly we never completely know ourselves, but it certainly helped a lot when I started searching for answers to things that 'define' us as men.

What's your life philosophy? Start there. You'll be 100x more comfortable with yourself and in turn other people once you start figuring this stuff out. Research. Talk to your peers. Talk to leaders in these fields. Do what it takes, our thoughts are ultimately what make us.

My opinion, anyway.
Author:  2young2bcaring [ Mon Jan 07, 2013 12:10 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Difference in getting girls
What do you mean by life philosophy? Like a mantra I live by?
Author:  enesta [ Mon Jan 07, 2013 12:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Difference in getting girls
How do you feel about life, people, the universe? Are people inherently bad and care only about themselves, or ultimately kind and loving? Is life an accident, will there be nothing more than nothingness when we die? Where did the universe come from?

It's a combination of all these deep questions on life. If you're unsure, do some research and form an opinion! These are fundamental things that form your identity as a person.
Author:  enesta [ Mon Jan 07, 2013 12:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Difference in getting girls
And my larger point here, again, is that if you're unsure about who you are as a person and where you stand in life, you'll be uncomfortable with yourself and ultimately around others when things get serious/deep. For me it's a matter of finder that inner peace, which allows me to settle down so-to-speak when interacting with women.
Author:  2young2bcaring [ Mon Jan 07, 2013 2:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Difference in getting girls
I suppose part of me is afraid. Like with Christian girls I play the good Jesus lover. Back home I play the good Jew. Around my closest friends I typically play the agnostic which feels more right anyway but a lot of girls these days are very persnickety about who they date based on religious preferences. -_-
Author:  Slip n Slide [ Thu Jan 10, 2013 8:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Difference in getting girls
Enesta! If there was still reputation on this forum I would give you all I could.

To OP, he's right, you are looking for deeper meaning. Looking for deeper meaning is the whole point. When you've matured a little, you'll start to figure out what you think it is, and then time and time again life will prove you wrong. You'll make mistakes, but if you learn lessons and try again, you will perfect your philosophy.

For me, it's important to stay in the present moment. It's more important to take action than to sit around thinking. And if I want positive circumstances to come to me, I have to approach life positively, and always act honorably toward other people. It's cheesy man, but if you can't write these things out, then you don't even know what you believe.
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