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cheers detox75.
What about when someone is talking about a topic that sparks a emotion in you because they are putting a negative spin on it and framing yourself in an unattractive role.
obviously i try to keep my calm and have a stronger frame (is there a point where your frame should become more serious rather than adding humour to the situate all the time?) but this can be challenging in certain situations
You've got to get rid of the need to be right. Understand that every person has their own values, beliefs, and opinions, which they are entitled to, and they aren't always going to match your own. In fact, they will rarely match your own.What about when someone is talking about a topic that sparks a emotion in you because they are putting a negative spin on it and framing yourself in an unattractive role.
obviously i try to keep my calm and have a stronger frame (is there a point where your frame should become more serious rather than adding humour to the situate all the time?) but this can be challenging in certain situations
You've got to tell yourself that everything a person says is their own opinion and that's all it is; their opinion. It has nothing to do with you, it doesn't affect you at all. Even if they are talking about you, so what? If you are confident and secure in who you are, then you don't care what another person says about you, because you know that what they say doesn't change anything. Their opinion of who you are does not make you who you are.
If someone is talking about something, such as politics, religion, evolution, stomach acid, whatever. and you feel they are 100% wrong, don't worry about it. Let them be wrong. You don't have to correct them or present/defend your stance. That need comes from an insecure place within you.
Think of it like arguing on the internet. If someone posts something on the internet, and you disagree with it and it makes you angry... You have 2 choices: A. You can post a response calling them an idiot and telling them how wrong they are and start a debate in which both of you are trying to prove your own side to be true while not listening to or considering anything the other is saying. or B. You can just say "ah who cares what that person thinks?" and remove the need to respond, just click away from the post, and go about your life as if you never even read the post.
This pic should provide some perspective:
Silly, right? Who cares if they are wrong? Let them be wrong. It doesn't have any impact on your life at all, so just go on with your day.
If someone says grass is purple, that doesn't make it purple. Let them say it is purple, because it will still be green the next time you go outside.
Every time you start to feel that emotion and urge to debate, just tell yourself "it's only their opinion. it doesn't matter."