PUA Forum :: how do you guys deal with your own emotional crap

My friends call often call me a slut (few people in my social circles sleep around like I), I got arrested for driving drunk on Saturday and girls mostly want me for my penis. To be fair I´m not always so interested of their minds either. I don´t feel as special as I usually do and my head hurts.

How do you men deal with this kind of emotional crap?

Sounds to me like you might be just plain unhappy with yourself.

Read up on emotional maturity, emotional dependency, etc. Sounds like you might be defining your worth based on external shit, instead of internal shit.

It's a common problem. I'm guilty of it at times. Now that I'm aware of it, it's something I can deal with, if I so choose.

When you're flat out fucking comfortable with yourself, regardless of how you do at work, or whether some chick decides she wants your cock, or some other part of you, then you have it made. I'm a firm believer once a guy has this nailed down, all the rest of the shit will fall into place. You won't have to "game" chicks, pretend not to have an interest in them, or work to be attractive to anybody. You just will be, because you've got yourself figured out and morphed into whatever it is you really want to be.

Deep shit. I'm going to shut the fuck up now.

Being comfortable with yourself and self-actualized is important, true. But there is a potential problem with that. What if you are comfortable just being "YOU" (whatever that entails), but it turns out that this version of you isn't the best version you can be? What if you are comfortable as all get out, but you only attract 7s at best? You may be happy with yourself, and your 7s are too, but you could potentially do better in all aspects of your life.

I've seen some of the unhappiest, most unsuccessful people I've ever known sit there and tell me they were content and happy with their lives. Self-delusion is a powerful thing. I'm of the opinion that once you actually perfect your lifestyle to the best of your abilities, the comfort aspect soon follows. But that doesn't work in reverse.

Author:	Warmth [ Wed Sep 12, 2012 4:13 pm ]
Post subject:	how do you guys deal with your own emotional crap
My friends call often call me a slut (few people in my social circles sleep around like I), I got arrested for driving drunk on Saturday and girls mostly want me for my penis. To be fair I´m not always so interested of their minds either. I don´t feel as special as I usually do and my head hurts. How do you men deal with this kind of emotional crap?

Author:	puaninja [ Wed Sep 12, 2012 4:18 pm ]
Post subject:
I dunno. Suck it up and be a man?

Author:	Warmth [ Wed Sep 12, 2012 4:32 pm ]
Post subject:
Yes, maybe I should become a pua ninja and close sets

Author:	justinwa [ Tue Sep 18, 2012 1:11 am ]
Post subject:	Re: how do you guys deal with your own emotional crap
Quote: My friends call often call me a slut (few people in my social circles sleep around like I), I got arrested for driving drunk on Saturday and girls mostly want me for my penis. To be fair I´m not always so interested of their minds either. I don´t feel as special as I usually do and my head hurts. How do you men deal with this kind of emotional crap? Idk man, I have no idea what it's like to reach success like you have. Im still dealing with the basics myself while trying to make to most of college. I know the things that bother me are mostly related to lack of positive results. I think about inner game periodically. Mostly, a big portion of my thoughts toward inner game lately has been aimed at the different emotional reactions I may be experiencing and their triggers. I know that bad stimuli makes me feel bad and vice versa. Also, I've learned that what I am interpreting at a given moment may not be true to the degree that I think it may be. Recently, I thought to myself about the mathematical term "relativity." Im not sure if my subconscious pulled this idea from my calculus class or the stargate episode I watched recently, but I've taken great comfort in the fact that everything is relative. A girl's ability to hurt you is relative to your interest in accepting what she says. Also I believe if you train yourself, it's possible to choose to interpret situations differently and to assume the positive.

Author:	justinwa [ Tue Sep 18, 2012 1:12 am ]
Post subject:	Re: how do you guys deal with your own emotional crap
Quote: My friends call often call me a slut (few people in my social circles sleep around like I), I got arrested for driving drunk on Saturday and girls mostly want me for my penis. To be fair I´m not always so interested of their minds either. I don´t feel as special as I usually do and my head hurts. How do you men deal with this kind of emotional crap? Idk man, I have no idea what it's like to reach success like you have. Im still dealing with the basics myself while trying to make to most of college. I know the things that bother me are mostly related to lack of positive results. I think about inner game periodically. Mostly, a big portion of my thoughts toward inner game lately has been aimed at the different emotional reactions I may be experiencing and their triggers. I know that bad stimuli makes me feel bad and vice versa. Also, I've learned that what I am interpreting at a given moment may not be true to the degree that I think it may be. Recently, I thought to myself about the mathematical term "relativity." Im not sure if my subconscious pulled this idea from my calculus class or the stargate episode I watched recently, but I've taken great comfort in the fact that everything is relative. A girl's ability to hurt you is relative to your interest in accepting what she says. Also I believe if you train yourself, it's possible to choose to interpret situations differently and to assume the positive.

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Author:	justinwa [ Tue Sep 18, 2012 1:14 am ]
Post subject:	Re: how do you guys deal with your own emotional crap
Quote: My friends call often call me a slut (few people in my social circles sleep around like I), I got arrested for driving drunk on Saturday and girls mostly want me for my penis. To be fair I´m not always so interested of their minds either. I don´t feel as special as I usually do and my head hurts. How do you men deal with this kind of emotional crap? Idk man, I have no idea what it's like to reach success like you have. Im still dealing with the basics myself while trying to make to most of college. I know the things that bother me are mostly related to lack of positive results. I think about inner game periodically. Mostly, a big portion of my thoughts toward inner game lately has been aimed at the different emotional reactions I may be experiencing and their triggers. I know that bad stimuli makes me feel bad and vice versa. Also, I've learned that what I am interpreting at a given moment may not be true to the degree that I think it may be. Recently, I thought to myself about the mathematical term "relativity." Im not sure if my subconscious pulled this idea from my calculus class or the stargate episode I watched recently, but I've taken great comfort in the fact that everything is relative. A girl's ability to hurt you is relative to your interest in accepting what she says. Also I believe if you train yourself, it's possible to choose to interpret situations differently and to assume the positive.

Author:	Fluffs [ Tue Sep 18, 2012 10:12 am ]
Post subject:
If they're giving you shit, tell them it's your life and you're fine how you are? It's not like it's much of a deal for them. I would NEVER let anyone teach ME how to live MY life. Those aren't friends. Play like they were jellous, you don't care etc.

Author:	Warmth [ Wed Sep 19, 2012 3:09 pm ]
Post subject:
I just have very high highs and low lows. Now when I reflect upon this I´m usually high when I´ve done something good (gotten a hot chick, done good at work or school) and low when I´m waiting for something to happen (see if the hot girl wants to meet me again, waiting for the test results from some test etc.) Maybe I´m to result oriented? Much of my life is defined by my ambitions. Maybe that's something bad?

Author:	vhou812 [ Wed Sep 19, 2012 6:42 pm ]
Post subject:
Sounds to me like you might be just plain unhappy with yourself. Read up on emotional maturity, emotional dependency, etc. Sounds like you might be defining your worth based on external shit, instead of internal shit. It's a common problem. I'm guilty of it at times. Now that I'm aware of it, it's something I can deal with, if I so choose. When you're flat out fucking comfortable with yourself, regardless of how you do at work, or whether some chick decides she wants your cock, or some other part of you, then you have it made. I'm a firm believer once a guy has this nailed down, all the rest of the shit will fall into place. You won't have to "game" chicks, pretend not to have an interest in them, or work to be attractive to anybody. You just will be, because you've got yourself figured out and morphed into whatever it is you really want to be. Deep shit. I'm going to shut the fuck up now.

Author:	Warmth [ Wed Sep 19, 2012 7:18 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Sounds to me like you might be just plain unhappy with yourself. Read up on emotional maturity, emotional dependency, etc. Sounds like you might be defining your worth based on external shit, instead of internal shit. It's a common problem. I'm guilty of it at times. Now that I'm aware of it, it's something I can deal with, if I so choose. When you're flat out fucking comfortable with yourself, regardless of how you do at work, or whether some chick decides she wants your cock, or some other part of you, then you have it made. I'm a firm believer once a guy has this nailed down, all the rest of the shit will fall into place. You won't have to "game" chicks, pretend not to have an interest in them, or work to be attractive to anybody. You just will be, because you've got yourself figured out and morphed into whatever it is you really want to be. Deep shit. I'm going to shut the fuck up now. No, thank you. Probably the best tip I´ve gotten on this site. Do you have any reading or material you suggest that touches on this subject? Doesn't have to be game related

Author:	vhou812 [ Thu Sep 20, 2012 4:03 pm ]
Post subject:
Most of my education or lack there of came from a google search. Here's a good link to get you started. Much of this subject comes from the religious sect, which I'm not a huge participant in, but once I became aware of it, I could definitely find examples where I exhibited it. http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/387 ... ility.html

Author:	puaninja [ Thu Sep 20, 2012 4:32 pm ]
Post subject:
Being comfortable with yourself and self-actualized is important, true. But there is a potential problem with that. What if you are comfortable just being "YOU" (whatever that entails), but it turns out that this version of you isn't the best version you can be? What if you are comfortable as all get out, but you only attract 7s at best? You may be happy with yourself, and your 7s are too, but you could potentially do better in all aspects of your life. I've seen some of the unhappiest, most unsuccessful people I've ever known sit there and tell me they were content and happy with their lives. Self-delusion is a powerful thing. I'm of the opinion that once you actually perfect your lifestyle to the best of your abilities, the comfort aspect soon follows. But that doesn't work in reverse.

Author:	Warmth [ Thu Sep 20, 2012 8:12 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Being comfortable with yourself and self-actualized is important, true. But there is a potential problem with that. What if you are comfortable just being "YOU" (whatever that entails), but it turns out that this version of you isn't the best version you can be? What if you are comfortable as all get out, but you only attract 7s at best? You may be happy with yourself, and your 7s are too, but you could potentially do better in all aspects of your life. I've seen some of the unhappiest, most unsuccessful people I've ever known sit there and tell me they were content and happy with their lives. Self-delusion is a powerful thing. I'm of the opinion that once you actually perfect your lifestyle to the best of your abilities, the comfort aspect soon follows. But that doesn't work in reverse. Well I dont think that my life being shitty is the reason for my periodic unhappiness. I´m getting better and better with girls (I know few people better than me at this). I have awesome grades, I make a lot of money (when I logged in to the bank yesterday I saw I had 2500 more dollars than I thoughts I had). I´m young, 18 and have many friends. I don´t think there is anyone whose life I would like to trade with. I just feel tired and have these downs sometimes which bum me really hard. I´m starting to feel good again now but this last two weeks I´ve been almost constantly down (since I got arrested).

Author:	vhou812 [ Fri Sep 21, 2012 5:06 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Being comfortable with yourself and self-actualized is important, true. But there is a potential problem with that. What if you are comfortable just being "YOU" (whatever that entails), but it turns out that this version of you isn't the best version you can be? What if you are comfortable as all get out, but you only attract 7s at best? You may be happy with yourself, and your 7s are too, but you could potentially do better in all aspects of your life. I've seen some of the unhappiest, most unsuccessful people I've ever known sit there and tell me they were content and happy with their lives. Self-delusion is a powerful thing. I'm of the opinion that once you actually perfect your lifestyle to the best of your abilities, the comfort aspect soon follows. But that doesn't work in reverse. I can see your point here, but your mentality begs the question, who the fuck do I need to nail 10s for? All a guy really needs is to be happy with whatever the fuck he is, whatever he's got. To theorize that a guy who is comfortable with himself could never land a 10 makes no sense. Will I fuck every 10 I see? No. Do I care? No. Why don't I care? Because I don't need to fuck every 10 I see to be happy with myself. 90% of the guys who come to this forum do so because they lack confidence in themselves, and they think fucking hot bitches will boost confidence and make them feel better about themselves. And to a degree, that is true. But who would you rather be? A guy who doesn't know himself completely and isn't happy with himself 100%, but fucks every single hot chick he sees? or the guy who really doesn't have to fuck anyone to prove anything to himself or anyone else, and simply fucks the ones he wants, when he wants, regardless of how someone else would rate them? I guess what I'm saying is, I'd rather be the latter. But I won't condemn a guy who wants the former. To each their own. I was just trying to help the OP figure out why fucking a 10 all the time doesn't make him feel like a millioin bucks all the time.

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