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Forced DLV
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Author:  puaninja [ Tue Sep 11, 2012 5:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Forced DLV
This has happened to me quite a few times. I'll be talking to people, whether it be women I'm interested in, my gf's friends or family, and sometimes even just random strangers. And they'll direct the conversation towards something that basically forces me to DLV myself. For instance, I work with websites for a living, and I was talking to someone who started asking me all these technical questions about computers which were completely unrelated to what I do. I couldn't really answer them and it made me look dumb and incompetent. Sometimes it happens with sports. Like I'll tell people I watch NFL and they'll start talking about the Rams secondary and using a bunch of football jargon which I can't really relate to since I don't actually care that much about football.

It's almost like these people are directing the topic of conversation in such a way that they can draw forth my shortcomings and weak points. It's really fricking annoying. It's like they are trying to tool me, but for no good reason. What should I do? Should I try to retake control of the conversation and change the subject, or should I turn it around and tool them back?
Author:  TrippAdvice [ Tue Sep 11, 2012 5:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
First off, nobody is out to get you. So don't worry about that. I've had this problem in the past as well. The key here is honesty and knowing shit.

1) Honesty

If you don't know about it, don't bullshit. Be upfront about it. You're going to look worse if you start to try and answer questions or stay in conversation. Instead say, "I don't watch too much football actually, I usually do (insert something interesting here)". Now you can start to talk about that! Say it with confidence though. Don't say, "Oh I don't know about that computer stuff, but I wish I did". Instead say, "well I actually specialize in this area, but that stuff is really cool too. I focus more on (insert this area)."

2)Knowing Shit
Read newspapers, magazines, books, talk to as many people as you can. Start to learn the ins and outs about ALL topics. Then you can start to gear the conversation to where YOU want it to go. All of a sudden look who can't keep up. ;) Life isn't all about sports. It's about EVERYTHING. So know stuff and try and bring it up ASAP so you can start talking about the things YOU want. This also seems to be a lack of confidence issue. You might be letting the other person take over and let them lead the conversation. Well, today, it's a new you. You will start to lead the conversation and if it doesn't go where you want. Direct it somewhere else.

Hope that helps!
Author:  puaninja [ Tue Sep 11, 2012 6:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
I don't think they do it to target me specifically, but I think that some people with personality defects will naturally gravitate towards conversations which belittle the other person. Social Dynamics are supposed to teach us how to lift people up and win them over, but these types of people do the opposite.
Author:  detox75 [ Tue Sep 11, 2012 6:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
you arnt going to become well versed in all and sundry fields of knowledge so I wouldn't spend too much time studying sports history and proper encapsulation of sticky objects in multi-threaded code.
Quote:
Should I try to retake control of the conversation and change the subject,
yes you answered your own question, when someone trys to take you down the DLV path just reassert control over the frame.
Author:  RitualSlave [ Wed Sep 12, 2012 8:47 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
First off, nobody is out to get you. So don't worry about that. I've had this problem in the past as well. The key here is honesty and knowing shit.

1) Honesty

If you don't know about it, don't bullshit. Be upfront about it. You're going to look worse if you start to try and answer questions or stay in conversation. Instead say, "I don't watch too much football actually, I usually do (insert something interesting here)". Now you can start to talk about that! Say it with confidence though. Don't say, "Oh I don't know about that computer stuff, but I wish I did". Instead say, "well I actually specialize in this area, but that stuff is really cool too. I focus more on (insert this area)."

2)Knowing Shit
Read newspapers, magazines, books, talk to as many people as you can. Start to learn the ins and outs about ALL topics. Then you can start to gear the conversation to where YOU want it to go. All of a sudden look who can't keep up. ;) Life isn't all about sports. It's about EVERYTHING. So know stuff and try and bring it up ASAP so you can start talking about the things YOU want. This also seems to be a lack of confidence issue. You might be letting the other person take over and let them lead the conversation. Well, today, it's a new you. You will start to lead the conversation and if it doesn't go where you want. Direct it somewhere else.

Hope that helps!
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