PUA Forum :: Honesty vs. Acting

Quote:

It ultimately comes down to change who you are. I know all the people here don't want to admit this, but it's the truth of the matter. Now, who are you? We are all just the sum of our interests, goals, aspirations, actions, reactions, thoughts, behaviors, etc. Despite having many diverse visual components, your thoughts/reactions will guide a lot of what is important in PUA. Getting a better grasp of these things will allow you to be honest. A lot of these "honest" (and successful) feelings/statements come with the experience of success with women. To get there, you will likely have to act i.e. keep yourself and insecurities from screwing things up. But you can read 90% of the threads in the relationship section to see what happens when you act to get girls, without also trying to fix those thoughts/reactions.

Interesting so in your view it's not act or be honest. It's change who you are so that when you are honest it is different?

The questions that seem to rule this community are whether you can truly change who you are and whether that's a wise thing to do. I guess it depends what you mean by "who you are." This topic really deserves a lot of discussion I think.

I think anyone who engages in a challenging activity, such as improving their ability to socialize, is going to change (sometimes for the worse, sometimes better). Our experiences mold who we are. Once you are in a different circumstance with a different set of experiences, you won't view things the same anymore.

Author:	clearspeak [ Fri Jun 15, 2012 7:23 am ]
Post subject:	Honesty vs. Acting
Probably one of the biggest issues in social situation and one I've seen in multiple threads just today. When should you be honest and show your true feelings and when should you play the part you think is necessary to get a result. It's kind of like being authentic vs. being strategic. Where do you draw the line or decide when to do which? This question is important in a lot of areas of life.

Author:	eating_chicken [ Fri Jun 15, 2012 1:46 pm ]
Post subject:
personally, with women, you should always be honest. because from personal experience telling a lie, even if it gets you laid, usually bites you in the ass afterwards. besides, if you lie and pretend to be someone you're not, and she likes it, what's going to happen when she finds out that you're not the person she thought you were. wouldn't you be ALOT better off finding a girl who likes you for exactly the way you are? the bottom line is, just be honest about who you are, if she doesn't like it, move on, and find someone who will genuinely appreciate the person that you are

Author:	Sparroww [ Fri Jun 15, 2012 2:09 pm ]
Post subject:
Always be honest. You don't have to be dishonest to have good game. There is no need for deception. You don't need to "play a part" you just need to know how to act in certain situations, how to successfully bring across your personality in an attractive way.

Author:	clearspeak [ Mon Jun 18, 2012 5:51 am ]
Post subject:
Interesting to hear people saying always be honest. So many people in this community say things like "Being yourself just doesn't work." I always think how can acting work either in the long run? You can't keep up an act forever. I tend to think it's kind of an interesting mix. It's about learning how to be yourself in a new way. You're the same person but you communicate it in a more effective way. For example, before you might have just said what you think, but now you learn to express it in a story that is more engaging. I guess that's what learning communication skills can do in general - help you express who you are better.

Author:	clearspeak [ Tue Jun 19, 2012 1:53 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: It ultimately comes down to change who you are. I know all the people here don't want to admit this, but it's the truth of the matter. Now, who are you? We are all just the sum of our interests, goals, aspirations, actions, reactions, thoughts, behaviors, etc. Despite having many diverse visual components, your thoughts/reactions will guide a lot of what is important in PUA. Getting a better grasp of these things will allow you to be honest. A lot of these "honest" (and successful) feelings/statements come with the experience of success with women. To get there, you will likely have to act i.e. keep yourself and insecurities from screwing things up. But you can read 90% of the threads in the relationship section to see what happens when you act to get girls, without also trying to fix those thoughts/reactions. Interesting so in your view it's not act or be honest. It's change who you are so that when you are honest it is different? The questions that seem to rule this community are whether you can truly change who you are and whether that's a wise thing to do. I guess it depends what you mean by "who you are." This topic really deserves a lot of discussion I think.

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Author:	clearspeak [ Wed Jun 20, 2012 12:57 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: Quote: It ultimately comes down to change who you are. I know all the people here don't want to admit this, but it's the truth of the matter. Now, who are you? We are all just the sum of our interests, goals, aspirations, actions, reactions, thoughts, behaviors, etc. Despite having many diverse visual components, your thoughts/reactions will guide a lot of what is important in PUA. Getting a better grasp of these things will allow you to be honest. A lot of these "honest" (and successful) feelings/statements come with the experience of success with women. To get there, you will likely have to act i.e. keep yourself and insecurities from screwing things up. But you can read 90% of the threads in the relationship section to see what happens when you act to get girls, without also trying to fix those thoughts/reactions. Interesting so in your view it's not act or be honest. It's change who you are so that when you are honest it is different? The questions that seem to rule this community are whether you can truly change who you are and whether that's a wise thing to do. I guess it depends what you mean by "who you are." This topic really deserves a lot of discussion I think. I think anyone who engages in a challenging activity, such as improving their ability to socialize, is going to change (sometimes for the worse, sometimes better). Our experiences mold who we are. Once you are in a different circumstance with a different set of experiences, you won't view things the same anymore. I think we agree. I am not sure how much the core of who we are changes. But our perception and perspective can definitely change. I think we're saying the same thing just maybe using slightly different words.

Author:	vcwriter [ Thu Jun 21, 2012 3:17 pm ]
Post subject:
You don't have to lie to get girls. If you improve yourself, you don't have to lie. And there's a difference between being dishonest and being tactful. If you walked into a job interview, you wouldn't start off talking about your deepest insecurities.

Author:	Water Wizard [ Mon Jul 02, 2012 3:21 am ]
Post subject:
It really depends on the situation. Some of the time it's a balance between how much I want to hate myself, and how much I want others to hate me. I prefer them to hate me by far, it's just not worth it to be a lie that I despise. I think it's only good to lie if it's hiding some sort of social taboo, or if the truth is somewhat trivial and it's a fairly big DLV.

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