hey guys,
one of the sticking points that some of us encounter is the superficial aspect of the game. For instance, I have a hard time to acknowledge my ego's desires that appear in a second of wanting to fuck the HB that I meet in a club. I've been meditating and practicing yoga for a while now, and I am having a hard time to reconcile the "let go of your desires, desires are suffering" part of the buddhist mentality that leads to happiness, and my ego's suffering of not going for the girls that my ego wants to fuck!
One way to feel good about this and to reconcile those 2 parts of me, is to say that while I acknowledge the desire, I stay in the present moment and accept the present, which is that I am not sleeping with her right now and that I'm okay with that. That I accept the desire, while doing the steps (approaching-...) and seeing if there's a connexion or if I'm still into her after flirting with her.
But even then, the BIG problem that I have a hard time resolving, is that the more I am conscious of everything being an illusion and not being the source of my happiness, I find myself running after girls who haven't grasped this concept -i.e. the really hb in clubs and bars, for the most part. Why would I accept to limit this part of my life to fulfilling this desire? I sometimes feel like I'm waisting my time, that this doesn't really make sense for me.
How to reconcile those 2 parts of me? Any of you have had a similar difficulty with this?
The weird thing is, during the day, I don't have the same problem of going direct with a girl that just crossed my way! I can be full of love and radiating it. I appreciate the moment of a sunny day, appreciating the beauties that surround me (nature,...) and the girls that I meet are one of them. When I'm in that zone, it's totally natural for me to go up to her, and I am rarely anxious when I discuss with her.
It also makes me think of WHY am I doing pick up, what do I want from women, and why is that important for me. Do I want just the sex with no connexion, no feelings, or no appreciation for the girl's values and ideas? This fun, this enjoyment, is it worth the efforts? On the other hand, if I wasn't picking up girls, and not acting on any of my desires, I'd stay sitting, not eating not drinking, just observing my thoughts.
An on PUA told me that your ego, mind, spirit and body are all of value. The people who have taken action based on their ego's desires have created as a result some of the wonderful things in this world. That was a turning point in my life some months ago. I disgraced money and superficiality, but now I am thinking differently, even if I still have some doubts.
My conviction now is that through consciousness, you can control your ego to act on certain desires that you consciously set in your mind. You figure out the "why" part -the most important in my mind, then set goals and just take action. You revise this process through time as your consciousness evolves.
Any opinions on this?
If you take the perspective that life is all about love, how to answer this question? Doing the things I love and have a passion for, appreciating prosperity for what it can bring to me and to others by giving back, taking my place in the world while letting others have theirs, i.e. not over-consuming objects and holding on to money or goods that are not meaningful to me. And appreciating every moment of interaction with women and seeing where it leads me. Going with the flow. Women are just like any other object in this world, and can be a source of enjoyment or of suffering.
That summaries my thoughts so far... still a lot of confusion even if I've been in the game for about a year now!
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