| PUA Forum https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/ |
|
| Trying to be alpha, but still slipping up? This will help! https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=123821 |
Page 1 of 1 |
| Author: | Ch1mera [ Tue Dec 20, 2011 10:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Trying to be alpha, but still slipping up? This will help! |
If you find yourself slowly losing the frame control and also becoming more needy and less alpha after 2-3 months of seeing someone then this will help! Even the most confident of us will forget that they are the prize and they have other options from time to time. As soon as you forget that, you may develop an unhealthy attachment to the girl in question and start seeking validation from her which drives her away - making you seek validation even more thus starting a vicious cycle. I have really struggled with this issue but I am finally making major progress. Validation is a NEED - the only difference between an alpha and an AFC is how that validation is sought. Let me highlight the 3 key points: 1. Self-validation - the only viable long term solution. You are needy because you believe her attention validates your own social worth, i.e. if I'm a loveable person then surely she would text me back! This is however a fundamentally flawed proposition - you know yourself better than she knows you; does she really know how generous you are? How smart you are? Start to consciously value your own achievements and belief system. Focus on the positive! 2. Be very social - continue to meet new people, flirt with other women and get their numbers. Make those women beg for your attention, no need to take it further than that! This supplements self-validation - in effect, you are being provided validation from other sources. This is a temporary "fix" until you get good at 1. 3. Positive reinforcement - you WILL forget to self-validate, some of us are in the habit of judging ourselves and old habits die hard. This is why it helps TREMENDOUSLY to anchor all the good things you feel about yourself into a physical item! For me, this is a caduceus pendant I wear around my neck. It is a symbol of medical practice - my dream is to become a top doctor and change the world. I already have an offer to study Medicine at a top university - this is what I am really proud of. I can always feel this pendant around my neck and it is a constant reminder of the ideals I stand for - compassion, love, tolerance and highlights the extremely difficult journey to get into medical school. Whenever anxiety sets in (I am still working on the issue of validation, it's not an overnight fix), I am reminded of all this and those feelings disappear. If you feel I have missed anything out, don't hesitate to mention it. Hope this helps somebody. |
|
| Page 1 of 1 | All times are UTC |
| Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/ |
|