Just seen that you did in fact mention that book. I've always remembered it as the ex-FBI agent book!! I should have known by the content anyhow...

At the beginning of this thread this specific book is mentioned my friend. I love that book one of my favorites. Thanks for the love. And a great recommendation to focus on one part at a time. Most people will jump in the deep end before learning to swim. That was why I specifically told people they need to be looking at body language everywhere. This takes a lot of time to notice without noticing.

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Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

TYPO

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Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Rapport

Most of courtship is about building rapport. When it comes to building rapport you are looking to build a connection. There are a lot of basic techniques to get a girl to like you by just doing some very simple things.

Isopraxism

I mentioned Isopraxism for a moment earlier. It is something that is known but not really noticed. A lot of times if a girl notices you she will copy your body movement or language. It happens subconsciously, we see someone we like we tend to be like them. Somebody takes a drink of water we like, it “reminds” us we are thirsty and we take a drink. I see this happen a lot in bars and social settings.

So when you do something and someone copies it is very good for you to be aware of what is going on. A good way to see if a stranger is watching you is to look at a spot on the wall or somewhere you guys can both look and see if they look at it as well. If they don’t do it it isn’t a deal breaker, it is just a nice positive occurrence.

Sometimes when a couple falls in synch they will start copying body language. If you see a couple and the date is going well there are a few things that are likely happening, the feet are slowly coming closer, and they will start to simulate each other.

So if you notice a stranger taking drinks within a minute of you taking a drink, making solid eye contact, and having one of her feet pointing toward you then you currently have a cluster. One of the most unnoticed clusters that we miss, this is a nice little gem.

If you are sitting there and you adjust your body and they copy in any way, copy the way you arms are, the way you stand, looking where you are looking, etc. You have what is isopraxism. Copying the body language is a major positive signal.

You can use this in a very positive manner as well. You can use this to build more rapport. If you are interested in a girl you can start to copy her body language. Perhaps she starts to lead, and than you take over and lead, than she copies your body language. So remember if you want to start building rapport before you meet them you can create a “likeness” attraction. You guys are alike because you do the same things, act the same way.

So remember to take these and add these to your arsenal:

Always pack chapstick, if you want to know who likes you do a quick scope of eye contact across the room. Put on some chapstick a lot of girls will put on lipstick or chapstick if they are attracted to you. You can then take a drink of anything and see who copies. You have just found yourself which girls practiced isopraxism to you.

Look at a painting or spot on the wall. See if with in a minute she looks over to see what you are looking at.

Breathing

Matching a persons breathing pattern can seriously elevate the situation subconsciously and they won’t even know you guys are doing it. What you do is fall into their breathing pattern. Breath with them so to speak, if you are talking, breathing, and moving in unison you build a connection quickly. This is a huge gem that can be used very well. Your body language is hypnotizing hers and you are seducing her merely by connecting with her, by falling in unison together. This is good to build rapport with anything but it is especially good in a courtship.

Voice Tone/ Speed

You want your tone and speed to match just like with everything else. When starting a conversation you don’t want to be the guy talking to fast or to high pitched. I actually prefer to talk somewhat low in tone and volume so they have to come to me. I also like to have “bad hearing” so I can’t hear them and bring them in closer.

My suggestion is to match their tone and volume for the most part. I always have a hard time hearing and I definitely speak a little too softly. That is a small tactic that I have found is very easy to use as long as there is a base attraction. Meaning they are willing to lean into you to talk to you, another positive body language sign.

One Ear Better Than The Other?

Believe it or not there is also a seductive ear that isn’t talked about a lot this is definitely a smooth technique it allows you to speak to the more emotional side of her brain. If she is left handed you want to speak into her right ear, if she is right handed you want to speak into her left ear. The majority of women are right handed so I usually situate myself in a way that I am on her left side and I can speak into her left ear. This allows you to say more emotional things to her.

Speak to Her

Something that most of us know that we don’t pay attention to is listening to how they observe the world. Some people will say “I see what your saying”, others “I hear what your saying”, and still others say “I feel what you are saying”.

Listen in a conversation to what she says. She will mention one of her senses most. So when she says something you agree with usual the magical phrase “You are right, I can (hear, feel, see) what you are saying”. When I tell a story I never say can you see this. I do say I want you to imagine, or picture this. These are powerful little techniques to build a lot of rapport. They make you come across as charismatic and you just fall into unison easier.

The only goal in this is to speak to the person specifically in front of you. If you like you can observe their eye movement finding out which place their eyes go to access information. If they look one way they are visual, kinesthetic (feel), or auditory. I recommend everyone google it and study it themselves I don’t want to go into detail on this one since pictures are far more efficient in this case. Great conversation piece as well when you can tell them they see things rather than hear things in their head.

GEM HAND SHAKE

This is a submissive hand shake that I should have put in the submissive signals section. If you are confident enough to be charming, you can use this hand shake and girls love and appreciate it a lot.

What you do is when you meet a girl you go to shake her hand by giving her your palm. While you get her name you bow a little looking up at her (strong eye contact don’t stop with the eye contact the entire hand shake) with a grin and repeat her name. You establish hand contact with her for at least 3 seconds and repeat her name once more this should be a somewhat soft and sensual hand shake.

It is weird but because you try to remember her name, and because you submit to her you become a very charming and charismatic person. You also establish contact with them for a little longer then most but not long enough to be creepy. You create a memory for her based off of your introduction style alone.

Seductive Eyes

Looking a girl in the eyes can be one of the biggest connections you can do. Look a girl in the right places can get you some bedroom eyes just by doing it correctly. What you do is you focus on the courtship triangle now that is a straight line from each eye to each other and from them to the lips. When you look at a girl it is good to look at the lips and eyes. Make very strong eye contact but every once in a while in a conversation it is good to look at a girls lips.

The other thing that is a little known not ever used secret is to line up your right eyes together if you go to dinner put your chair slightly to the left across the table and focus on her right eye with yours it creates a deep connection that really can’t be worded. This technique with the right lighting(dim lighting for maximum pupil size) can make you look like a serious romancer.

More later....

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Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Does anyone have any questions? Or is anyone really reading most of this?

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Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

I've been following this thread and keeping up to date with it since you started. The knowledge you have shared has been invaluable and it has opened my eyes to many things. Thank you very much!

In addition I have bought What Every Body is Saying based on your advice and it has been an enthralling read. Also you have done very well to summarise this book in your posts. My only question would be is, what is your favourite of the 4 books you listed and if I had to only read one, which would you recommend? If there's any that you think is better than What Every Body is Saying please let me know!

Hey man, I've been following this thread and agree with DesertSun that its great information. You should put all the posts together and create an article that you can submit to various different article directories. You can actually make money doing this! Do you know about article marketing??

Miles

Hmm. I don't really think I can choose. They all offer a lot but they offer different things. The Definitive Book on Body Language is considered the encyclopedia of body language for most and it does a great job, they do list a lot of the contributor factors to body language. It is far and above any of the others on body language as a whole. It lists more of them then any of the other books. A lot of body language is basic logic, it is just that we as humans let our own emotions tell us how the other person feels and that is our largest flaw with body language in general.

What Every Body is Saying is an amazing book because it teaches more about the interpretation of body language. From a instinct and primal perspective a long with psychological.

Love Signals is a courtship book. That is it. An anthropologist goes over the science of courtship and explains a lot about what we do and how we attract others. It is a great book for different reasons than the rest. Awesome concept, to me it is a great introduction to courtship body language and it is the first book I have made a few friends when I was trying to help them get better with girls. What I loved about Love Signals is that it tells you about courtship in general. The five phases. Real life bar studies. Just a little more straight forward plus it is an easy read that gets my friends hooked on PUA.

Under Cover Sex Signals is one of my favorite because it is told from a WOMAN'S perspective. This is huge. We study body language from a males perspective when we are trying to figure out women, how can that possibly make sense. She lists things the other writers don't. She is a little long winded for some men but I am a big fan of knowing where she gets things from and she does a great job of listing her sources.

These books all over lap for good portions but they also each have their own specific style and they teach you something different. I guess if I was going to recommend a courtship book I would choose Under Cover Sex Signals, it does cover a lot of the things we miss and it gives us a female perspective. For just body language in general and huge selection it goes to The Definitive Book on Body Language. I don't know that I can choose for you. I recommend you read all four. You started with a great book, it is a great way for you to get started reading general body language.

I have read quite a bit more body language books. Those are the four I feel are the most helpful. I have read a lot of books on persuading, charisma, personality, talking, carrying conversations, NLP, selling(as PUA's we sell ourselves), and rapport, they also contain some body language secrets. They all offer a bit of things, I have actually taken stuff from so many different fields to add to myself that it is hard to peg one thing. These posts are seriously littered with little things I have learned from probably over 20 sources, it is hard for me to pick and choose when I feel I already have. So choose which book focuses on what you feel you are struggling most with.

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Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Educate me my friend, I will continue to educate you. I'd be very happy to gain some extra capitol on the side.

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Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

I don't know how to organize this section. These were just random thoughts that need to be published with this same information.

Shy Girls

The majority of us have our moments of shyness. This is no different for girls. Well you know how we get approach anxiety? That is our form of shyness. The problem with us is we forget that most girls are shy, they aren’t necessarily giving you a shit test, they just don’t know what to say and are nervous around strangers. So what do they do? They freeze up and become quiet, just as if they are in the presence of a predator. It is just another primal instinct.

Shy girls are the roughest ones to read because they give you so little to go on. They make conversation some what awkward until they are comfortable. With shy girls you have to pay attention to the details. Their subconscious talks just like everyone else’s, you just have to pay a lot closer attention and this takes some time to notice these things naturally.

When you get a shy girl, pay attention to her feet, see which way her toes are pointed. Shy girls tend to show things A LOT more subtle. Look at their torso, which way is it facing? Shy girls tend to blush as well, something I touched on already. The red hues normally start at the top of the ear and work there way down.

A lot of shy girls duck into their shoulders, hiding their heads. This is also something I touched on. They are trying to hide from everything. When you are paralyzed by the fear of doing something you tend to shrink. Just like when we are angry we tend to blow our chest out to look bigger.

This is something you just have to learn to deal with. Some girls will be genuinely uncomfortable with the situation, when this happens they are pretty forward with their negative body language. Girls are pretty good at showing their emotions if they are uncomfortable. Where as with shy girls they are just neutral most of the time, you need to realize that while not moving is a bad sign it isn’t necessarily because you have done anything. Shy girls are harder to deal with but they are usually awesome girls once you get them comfortable.

Gaining Comfort with Shy Girls

This is a subject that is seriously difficult to tackle. There are lots of ways we have already mentioned in the Rapport section that can help. Shy girls are a tough assignment. I try and make everyone I interact with have a good time or moment with me. If you want to be not only a true alpha male, but a truly powerful charismatic character I suggest you try and accommodate everyone to have a high comfort level around you.

One of the ways I make everyone around me feel good is because I constantly compliment people on their accessories, clothes, or personal achievement (something they just say they did). People are always happy to receive a compliment just be careful not to compliment their appearance (physical looks off limits) but their character. Complimenting a shy girl can make her more forward to talk about something. Maybe she got her accessories or clothes somewhere on vacation, or maybe she got it given to her by a close friend or family member. There may be a story behind it.

Smile, if you don’t smile at a girl I don’t know what is wrong with you as it is. Shy girls will become a lot more comfortable with you if you smile. This seems like something so small but it is immensely helpful.

Be welcoming. Your body language should be open (arms and stance) and neutral to hers. You don’t want to square up with a girl until there is enough intimacy. Give any girl a 45 degree angle. Let them see you as you approach them. It is creepy when a guy taps a girl from behind. It shows a lack of confidence, if you can’t approach a girl from the front you need to re evaluate your technique. You need to let them realize you are harmless. You can’t be threatening, you have to be submissive (one of the reasons I love the handshake so much).

There is a lot more to this one…. I will have to ponder more and revisit this.

Notice Things

Ok guys you need to learn to notice things. Notice when a girl raises just their left eye brow. Or notice how she stands, her arms, or anything. Just pay attention. If you tell a girl, you know just your left eye brow raises when you faked that mad face at me she will be surprised you gave her that much attention. You stand out purely by noticing her. You notice the little things that are very big with her.

This is the same concept as oh it is cute the way your nose wiggles when you laugh. Well if you compliment a girl she might sway like a little girl. Say that is cute you got all shy like a little girl. Just notice things about her nobody else does.
As a PUA you want to stand out. Noticing more than any other of the guys who have talked to her will make her realize she is special. She does something no other girl does (or feels that way at the moment). Noticing someone blushing and calling them on it is huge, they blush more and have a huge smile (they are having a good time).

Example 1: The other day I was talking to a girl and said you are trying to purse your lips at me like your mad but you are smiling with your eyes. She looks over and I got a “I want you” look. She said you notice all these little things.

Example 2: I was talking to a girl a couple weeks ago she did just raise one eye brow, I said you can’t give me that half @ssed mad face with one raised eye brow. I got the same type of statement, you are different, you notice the little things. She also wanted me.

The thing that sucks about all of this is that I was at work. That said it shows you how much game you can have if you use it in an environment where courtship is more regular. Hell of a weapon to have in your arsenal creates a lot of conversation. You might even find out she has a smile like one of her parents.

If you can dissect someone’s body language and you know enough about it you can walk up and mention something about their body language and start a conversation purely because you understand her mood. You identify with her and fly in under the radar because you are already on the same page as her. Telling someone why they are standing like they are. I.E. “Standing a bit territorial aren’t you? Someone you are saving space for or did you just come from a small town and need your space?”

Note: Believe it or not people from small towns tend to give other people more space. Big city people (NYC, Chicago, Boston) are use to being given a lot less personal space so when you are standing with them they tend to stand very close to you. I came from a small town so I like my space (it almost feels threatening for me), I happen to notice this a lot. It is something that can get you a lot of interesting conversation.

Notice accents, listen ask where they came from. It is extremely noticeable the difference between different regions. I can tell a girl from the Midwest, East coast, South, West, etc. If it is a foreign accent, I don’t ask where they are from (how many times do you think they were asked that?), I ask what language they can speak (their skills or capabilities). Then I guess where they are from. Sometimes I am right and then you have instant rapport. Other times I am not and I learn something new.

Mood Suckers

Humans are mood suckers. If someone by us is in a bad mood they tend to influence our mood. So when you walk into a room and you feel awkward then everyone will reflect that toward you. They will see you as awkward. People feed off other people.

One of the things I have noticed is confident people are liked and loved because they put out a comfortable feeling for everyone. Same thing with funny kids, we all like a funny kid around because they lift everyone’s mood. We tend to think someone is cool because of how they make us feel. If you make someone feel like crap you’re a D-bag or @sshole. If you make people feel good than you are charismatic. Charismatic people are awesome to have around because they make everyone feel better.

When you are in an uncomfortable situation and you can joke at it a little and it can seriously add comfort to an uncomfortable situation. When you walk around confidently it gives everyone in the area permission to be confident. People that start doing something first are permission givers. The first guy jay walks, than everyone else follows straight into the cross walk. The first guy to do a back flip on anything (skis, snowboard, skateboard, motorcycle, etc.) gave everyone else the confidence to do so. Your confidence gives other confidence.

So keep in mind that if you go into a situation feeling awkward, everyone else will feel awkward. If you can joke with everyone, talk to people confidently and just be fun than people will just want you around. You give everyone in the area permission to have fun because you always do.

So when you walk up to someone your body language should speak confidence and welcoming. Your mood should be able to elevate everyone else’s. If you want the shy girl to laugh you better laugh. If you want her to smile you better smile. We tend to absorb the mood of those around us. You can either be a sheep or a shepherd. If you are a sheep your just like everyone else. If you are a shepherd you can help control the mood for everyone, you can give them comfort and they will give you it right back.

This is starting to pour into inner game because much of our own body language is based on our inner game. We show how we feel very consistently through body language. Realizing that your body language is important, it will help you understand them.

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Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Needed to add this....


Why do we stand like that?

Ok so most of us show how we feel. We have been talking about this for a while. What we haven’t talked about to much is the fact that we are standing this way because it is comfortable to our mood.

There has been studies involved where they had students cross their arms while they were with their professor and other were told to leave there arms open. The people who had their arms crossed had a much higher negative opinion of the professor. The ones with open arms had a higher positive opinion of the professor.

Another study was done where people were told to listen to a song while they were moving their head back and forth. The others were told to move their head up and down. Again the ones told to give a positive sign gave better reviews than the ones told to give a negative sign.

These studies tell us some very important information. If we want to be happier about things we merely have to have positive body language. People will say no it is impossible to feel good when you are in a bad mood just by changing your body language. That would be a flat out lie. We are comfortable standing in uncomfortable ways because we are uncomfortable.

You are comfortable with your arms crossed because your mood makes you feel most comfortable. You are comfortable standing the way you are because your mood makes you feel most comfortable standing that way.

I mention this to show you that your body language can make you accepting of a situation. If you want to be more confident stand more confident. Stand like you are confident and you gain confidence. You can choose to stand with a wide stance, propped up chin, and wide shoulders and you will begin to feel more confident. It will change your mood. If you start smiling you will loosen your mood even if you are forcing it a little at first. I once heard a guy say he smiled for the first half hour of his day as he woke up, showering, working out, eating, etc. That might sound crazy but the guy always had good days. The point is that you can literally fake it until you make it. You can change your mood by simply changing your body language.

This sounds absolutely ridiculous but if you can fight your mood and keep mostly positive body language your mood will always be positive or go back to positive. How you hold you yourself can literally make you feel differently.

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Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

You guys I would really like some feedback. I want some questions so I know what things I should get into. I get a few questions here and there but I would really like some more detailed questions. Tell me if there is something you want to focus on.

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Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Beautiful posts soo far, very informative.

Help me out,

During a concert I was opening and talking to two girls infront of me, hb8 and hb7.5.

7.5 was immensly shy and when i kino'd her she kinda freaked out but subtly. I was smiling the entire time, she noticed how she freaked out and blushed, and was like 0_o.

~~~

Another thing, I noticed that when having good body language people notice you, do you find this true?

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~California Love~!

A lot of girls first response is no. It is an auto responder for them in a lot of cases. Our reaction is to say no. Everyone's first reaction is to say no. I once was laying on a bed with a girl and the girl went to put her arm on me and I flinched, we were laying on her bed and the deal was all but done, I still reacted like that. Things followed through fine, it just took a little longer.

She probably just isn't use to too much human contact. That happens here and there, most shy girls are like that in a public environment. At other moments it would be quite a bit worse if she flinched. First contact is nervous for a lot of us.

Be confident in your movements. If you think you are going to be creepy (because your trying so hard not to) you will some how project it. It was a good thing when you smiled through her flinch. I usually make goofy comments, "wow I didn't think I smelled that bad". You did well to just continue to show you are non-threatening. Nice spot on the blushing, sometimes that is hard to see at concerts. I can't tell you for sures about her body language, but it sounds as if she was getting comfortable with you. She was embarrassed enough about her reaction that she began to blush.

ABSOLUTELY! Your body language will absolutely effect your environment. I told you the Vegas story. I happen to live up by the University of Utah campus(just invited to the pac-10 yeah buddy). One of the offensive linemen (big motha 295 lbs) for the starting squad, goes man you look like a man where girls should walk up and ask to have your babies. I asked him to elaborate, his response was just my demeanor. To me it was a huge compliment man, this dude hangs out with future NFL players(he is actually expected to be a first day draft pick) and he complimented my "alphaness".

When I walk around the pool, I certainly am not the cut guy at the pool. I am 5'8 210 and it ain't muscle. I am a stocky kid, but when my friends see me interact at the pool they just say your "the man". Your just "the man" at the pool. Girls pay more attention to me than the poster boy looking kids(and there absolutely are pretty boys in my complex). It is my demeanor that gets me to have conversation with Law students, Medical students, Cheerleaders, Sorority girls, Model, and be well liked by them all at the pool. Pretty sweet pool I must say though. A wide variety impressive female specimens.

These girls want to talk to me, they watch me at the pool and wait for an excuse to have a conversation with me or it feels like that anyways. Kind of the way people will linger until they can enter a conversation. I am sure you guys have all noticed this, a person lingering in the area, than all of a sudden when they have a comment they come alive and enter the conversation.

If you walk around like your are somebody. If you walk around like your "the man" everywhere you go than people tend to not only notice you but introduce themselves to you. In "The Game" Strauss mentions how certain people would come in a room and everyone would notice. For some people it is their fame that gives them this confidence. I know I have walked into a room and wondered who someone was based on their demeanor. I have also walked in and been the guy people wanted to meet. I have also been around famous people that didn't command a room at all. It just depends on how you want to represent yourself.

I bet you have noticed some significant differences because they truly change the way you represent yourself. If you walk around like your famous, people will think your famous. I do joke a lot by saying "I am fucking famous", a lot of my friends see me run into a lot of people I know. They say "Damn you know a lot of people", I look over and say "I am fucking famous". Seriously though if you walk around like your somebody, people will assume your somebody. That does not mean you should act stuck up because nobody likes a stuck up @55h013. Be gracious but confident.

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Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Distance and Space

We all like our space. We don’t want someone up in our face, and we certainly don’t want them close enough that we smell them. It is not just primal to want your territory but it is also instinct. This is something many of us don’t take into consideration when we talk to someone. Some people are comfortable with less space but the general population prefers around 18 in of space. Some of us rural people prefer 24 in or even 30 in. East coasters seem ok with as little as 6 in.

Woman feel threatened when you impede on their space without permission. How do you feel when someone feels threatening toward you? How are you going to have a girl comfortable with you if she wants you to move away? You are just that annoying guy who stood far to close that is all they will remember about you.

This is very important because if you are having a conversation with someone it is important to realize that someone may just be uncomfortable with the space you have given them not necessarily anything you did. When you are having a conversation with a girl, and you move in a little pay very close attention to her torso. See if she leans away, you may need to step back just a little. Give her her space; she will be far more comfortable with you if you don’t move in to soon. Going where you are not allowed to early can end a date, everyone knows that. Space can be a huge contributing factor.

This is a lot of drunk men’s biggest mistake, they tend to creep out girls by impeding on their space before they are allowed to. How many times have you seen a girl holding her jacket, purse, arms, etc. in front of herself, when she was uncomfortable with a guy? If you notice a girl is starting to look threatened you should examine the amount of space you are giving her. In some cases that is the only problem.

You see in a lot of bars singles are starting courtship the amount of space starts to close. They start getting closer, and than Kino happens. Sometimes you can get a girl comfortable with you right off the bat and start Kino, other times you need to give them space.

I am a huge fan of the 2 steps forward 1 step back when it comes to space. Touch them on the higher back (scapula) while making a joke, then move back just a little and see if they follow me like a magnet (move toward me). This is if there isn’t any comfort with me quite yet. It is really just testing the waters.

Add this to your Arsenal:

Check to see if you guys are magnets. See if you guys kind of pull closer together. Or perhaps you move toward her and you are pushing her away. This will tell you where you are at with their comfort level relatively quickly. If she is ok with moving in than escalate.

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