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| Becoming Unreactive https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=70967 |
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| Author: | sheardude [ Mon Jul 12, 2010 3:56 am ] |
| Post subject: | Becoming Unreactive |
I feel like one of my biggest sticking points is that my facial expressions really tell what I am feeling. If someone says something nasty to me, my face will show sadness or fear and it will make the person who said the insult to me more powerful. My question is this: How do I train myself to become unreactive? Just enough so that I can show no emotion when something bad is being said to me but not too much, otherwise I would be some sort of emotionless robot. Is it wise to be unreactive to different situations where someone is saying something bad to me or is there a better way to deal with something like that? |
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| Author: | Jason74Zepplin [ Tue Jul 13, 2010 9:50 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
'If someone says something nasty to me, my face will show sadness or fear and it will make the person who said the insult to me more powerful.' You lack belief in yourself so another persons comments affect your state which changes your appearance. If you didn't care what someone thought you wouldn't react. You must already see this person as more powerful than you to react in such a way to them. People say nasty things to others because they are insecure in themselves - fact! Once you fully understand this you will deal with another persons nasty comment in a cool calm way. The key is to stay calm...be cool! |
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| Author: | Ezo [ Tue Jul 13, 2010 10:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Imagine this. I come up to you and say, hey man your game sucks, you are by far the worst human being alive... That would be difficult to take I guess. Hard words and it gives you a bad feeling. On the other hand. If a small child comes up to you and says, hey uncle, you are a teddybear made of poop. That wouldnt be difficult to take would it? Because you dont care what a random child thinks. Plus you are aware that you are in fact not made of poop and you are not a teddybear... (Or are you? Im on to you!) So the fact that the first one may be right, that I have made a correct judgement of you would bother you. BUT. What if, you knew that it wasnt true. Would it bother you as much? Probably not, maybe a bit because I may be intimidating. So intimidating, if we were out in the forest alone you might be in trouble but if we are in a bar and I am about to talk to some nice girl... I wouldnt risk getting into a fight and lose the girl. Plus I wouldnt wanna get thrown out. So intimidating is just BS. Knowing that, you would know your own ability and think, ok, this guy just made a misjudgement of me. Interesting, how fun it will be when he realizes... Lets then imagine that you just screwed your game up majorly so that my comment would be correct... Would that be worse? Now you cannot use the above defense anymore. This is the main problem, because most guys doesnt know themselves well enough to use the above defense anyway. So what secret defense system do I have in mind? pillars-of-confidence-vt70441.html?highlight= Read this post. I believe that our confidence rests on several different pillars. Most people build up the one they are already good at and if that one crumbles for some reason their entire confidence crumbles. Not good. So what I have done is I have improved in several areas of my life. Every single weak side I could find. I dont focus on the stuff I already know but on the things that I dont know. In order to do that, you need to realize that you dont suck less just because you only do things you are good at, in fact you suck worse. So you gotta build up confidence pillars in other areas as well. Even if I blast your game out of the sky you still have the rest. You will be strong enough to admit that yes, you fucked up ha ha, whatever, who cares. You know that you got what it takes. You know that that is only a small part of who you are and it doesnt really matter. Now how does that differ from other peoples attitude here? It differs on one major point. Other people say, I dont give a fuck. I dont care what others think. I dont say that. Thats a ridiculus attitude. I say, yes, of course you care. Of course it hurts. but not that much. Of course it is annoying to be wet but one raindrop isnt enough to hurt you. A mosquito bite is annoying but it doesnt really hurt that much, you can take it. Same thing here. I dont say dont care. I say care but only proportionally to what has happened. If you are strong enough to survive the injury, then fine. If you are not, build up your strength for the next one... Ezo |
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