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Girls Crossing Arms
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Author:  Direct [ Wed Jan 06, 2010 5:25 am ]
Post subject:  Girls Crossing Arms
So crossing arms is a defensive position, I'm just curious to know how some of you guys address this?
I was informed that when a person is in this state its generally not a good idea to challenge them on any level because it irritates them.

right now I:

case 1 - girl i meet at a social gathering - ask her opinion on something that relates closely to me e.g. getting a new haircut, give a more genuine, softer vibe, and cross my fingers! In my creative head i picture the girl as a castle and if she has to give her opinion it forces her to drop the gates. :D:D

case 2 - girl i know, e.g. girl in my class - compliment and just leave. reason behind this is that i will see her again, and, in my experiences at least, i find that just cutting off an interaction suddenly and on a pleasant vibe leaves girls wanting more.
Author:  JSmooth [ Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls Crossing Arms
Quote:
So crossing arms is a defensive position, I'm just curious to know how some of you guys address this?
I was informed that when a person is in this state its generally not a good idea to challenge them on any level because it irritates them.
This is not necessarily true. I work in car sales where we actually have to sit across from people and negotiate. For years we were taught this and this is completely incorrect. It could mean that if combined with other stuff but there are tons of years people cross their arms.

Some people are naturally more comfortable sitting or standing when they cross their arms. Many people don't know what to do with their hands when they are just hanging out so they do this, and some it's just a habit.

This time of year I'll remind you that many people cross their arms just because they are cold!

There are other reasons but I'm just opening your mind to the fact that just because someone has their arms crossed doesn't mean they are getting defensive. Now if you combined crossed arms with a change in voice tone, and maybe certain facial expressions then you might come to that conclusion.

Body language is a tricky thing. Typically there is no one thing that someone does that means they don't like you. Food for thought, I use to flip the bird (middle finger) to open girls in clubs from across the room before I approached. That worked pretty well actually, and it didnt mean I hated them. :)

~Jon
Author:  Direct [ Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for telling me this, I knew that it doesn't always mean that (i'm not so naive). I think i should have worded this differently by saying defensive rather than merely crossing arms.
Author:  dlightmen [ Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:48 am ]
Post subject: 
Ya! You need to look for strings of postures/verbal cues/etc.. that are congruent with each other. For example, some of my mates will think ooohh she flipped her hair, and come to the conclusion of she wants 'em.... You gotta look for more though. Perhaps if she flips her hair and looks in your eyes, then smiles... each gesture is congruent with an IOI, and not meaning some chick just plays with her hair a lot.

If I'm talking to a lady and she is closed postured I always make an attempt to show I'm open and non-threatening... open palms when telling a story, big smile as well as open arms and non-crossed legs... Usually, a good joke or two with an open posture and she'll feel relaxed and open her posture up as well..... if she does it is a good sign.
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