Great! i've always felt kind of uncomfortable making eye contact, especially with like teachers etc...

A trick I've learned: don't look them in the eyes if it's uncomfortable, but look at the tip of the nose, or the spot right between the eyes. They won't notice, I assure you.

Anyway, I'm not sure about the advice that you should count the amount of blinks. That way you'll get distracted from the message the person is conveying, it might make you look stupid. If you're talking to someone, and especially girls, really listen to what they're saying, respond intelligently.

If you're counting blinks you could be nodding at wrong moments etc..

Have you ever considered that these males may be beta males? I thought you were here to create your own frame. If your frame requires you to simply keep eye contact with a male then you do it. If they feel uncomfortable it's their problem.

hey guys,

i wrote a thread on eye contact theories, check it out: [link]

also, i've been reading a book about body language lately and there was a part on dilating pupils. i don't always take the facts seriously but i found this one interesting, i think it can be related to eye contact. it is said that according to studies, pupil size increases when people view something that stimulates them. on the opposite, it decreases when they see unpleasant things. in other words, it is very common that when a woman is attracted to a man, she will dilate her pupils at him and most of the time he decodes this signal without knowing it. also, when you show 2 pictures of the same man (or woman) with different pupil size, women (or men) will always pick the most dilating pupil one as the more attractive.

of course, there can be many explanations for a set's pupil to dilate, but these studies show it could be a good sign! anyway, it is a good reason to lock eye contact with girls: try to notice if the pupil change size. but of course, keep the smile that goes with it, or else that's scary!

Here is a story I read from Leil Lowndes, which I've tested and found its principles to be true:

Yale psychology researchers once did a study to test the common belief of "more eye contact, more positive feelings." They tested this through the medium of public speaking. All the public speakers were professionals, they all used the same speeches, and were all told to maintain constant eye contact with the audience. They did several tests using different gender variations both in the audiences and with the speakers. Afterward, the audiences would complete surveys and interviews regarding their feelings toward the speaker. The results were this....

Female speaker to female audience = the female audiences felt increased rapport and connection with the speaker when they held eye contact.

Male speaker to female audience (and vice versa) = the audiences felt increased rapport and connection with the speaker when they held eye contact.

Male speaker to male audience = The male audiences would actually became uncomfortable and sometimes hostile towards the male speaker who held constant eye contact with them.

I personally never felt comfortable maintaining constant eye contact with other males. I will hold it for a few seconds, but I will periodically break it away and come back. This study showed us that kind of "on and off" eye contact between males is actually the natural way to do it.

The study has another implication as well. What this basically all means is that as a guy, it is completely OK to maintain constant eye contact with a woman. It won't create discomfort. In fact, if you watch women as they interact with each other, you will see that they will most often maintain constant eye contact. Its kind of freaky once you start noticing it!

Here is a principle to improve your eye contact; its called "Sticky Eyes". When speaking to a woman, pretend like your eyes are stuck to hers. Now noobs, don't interpret this as you need to stare them down or be creepy! All it means is that you should hold relaxed eye contact and be comfortable to go where she goes. You can even try counting the number of times they blink, or making sure to remember their eye color. When speaking to another male, you should use "Semi-Sticky Eyes". This means not to be afraid to have eye contact, but you shouldn't stare them down or anything (unless you don't like them), because it really does create discomfort after a while.

Male to Female = Sticky Eyes
Female to Female = Sticky Eyes
Male to Male = Semi-Sticky Eyes

Anyways, I hope this is all helpful. Good luck!