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Guy pets me on the head, my reaction
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Author:  Watabi [ Tue May 14, 2013 6:31 am ]
Post subject:  Guy pets me on the head, my reaction
So I'm at a party talking with some dude then a guy comes up to me and pats me on the head.
I tell him straight up "Don't do that again, that's disrespectful."
And he starts going off about how it isn't - not that he didn't mean anything by it - but that the gesture isn't disrespectful.
I say 'look man, if I say I think it's disrespectful that's all you need to hear, don't pet me on the head like a dog.'

I didn't say it angrily, just matter-of-factly. He keeps persisting so I look to the guy I'm talking to and say "Look, if someone came up and petted you on the head, would you find it disrespectful?" "Yeah, I probably wouldn't like it. But I've been in the marines for 15 years and... bla bla bla."

There was some tension in the air, then the guy who came over suggested the group move to the garage. They did. I got out-alpha'd.

Hindsight:

I think I should have just cut him off casually after a sentence or two stating my point, then directed all my attention at the guy across from me and resumed my conversation at a casual pace.
Author:  Dr. Jones [ Tue May 14, 2013 8:05 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Guy pets me on the head, my reaction
It's tricky because you don't want to come off butthurt, whether by a try-hard joke or explaining it's disrespectful. He knows it is.

"You gonna give me a dog biscuit next?" And then boop him on the nose or something.

If you're comfortable with yourself, you could do what I did when some guy kept touching my bicep. "I didn't know you were into that..." and then stroke his cheek. He got a little hostile, but I won lol
Author:  Watabi [ Tue May 14, 2013 9:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Guy pets me on the head, my reaction
Good point. I'm pretty happy that I'm standing up for myself without letting it phase me, but throwing it back at him and keeping it positive is a step up.
Author:  Jay (Majik) [ Tue May 14, 2013 10:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Guy pets me on the head, my reaction
Quote:
So I'm at a party talking with some dude then a guy comes up to me and pats me on the head.
I tell him straight up "Don't do that again, that's disrespectful."
And he starts going off about how it isn't - not that he didn't mean anything by it - but that the gesture isn't disrespectful.
I say 'look man, if I say I think it's disrespectful that's all you need to hear, don't pet me on the head like a dog.'

I didn't say it angrily, just matter-of-factly. He keeps persisting so I look to the guy I'm talking to and say "Look, if someone came up and petted you on the head, would you find it disrespectful?" "Yeah, I probably wouldn't like it. But I've been in the marines for 15 years and... bla bla bla."

There was some tension in the air, then the guy who came over suggested the group move to the garage. They did. I got out-alpha'd.

Hindsight:

I think I should have just cut him off casually after a sentence or two stating my point, then directed all my attention at the guy across from me and resumed my conversation at a casual pace.
I'm a lover... Not a fighter... But I would have fuckin head butted that clown. That IS downright disrespectful. I don't give a fuck if someone is a marine or not. I'd smash his face in with my forehead. If he's actually able to stand afterwards... He might kick your ass. But bones repair faster than dignity. Sometimes you gotta make a move.

Or.... Pour some sugar in that goons gas tank so he can walk his ass home like a dog.
Author:  Watabi [ Wed May 15, 2013 1:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Guy pets me on the head, my reaction
It was actually the guy across from me, who I was talking to, who was the ex-marine. This was some punk kid.
That was one of the things I was considering, is it deferring (bringing the ex-marine into the convo) and does it DLV when you engage someone else into a conversation like that or is it being group oriented? I think it comes down to tone. Not asking permission but basically asking if they agree, and keeping my frame regardless of their answer. Maybe even using that as a tool to re-engage with the initial person.

While I think if I just cut him (the kid) off casually and resumed conversation (it's worked before - it gets people mad as hell and makes them look like clowns) - do I really want to resume a boring conversation? Honestly, making it a joke and poking some fun back at the guy sounds more entertaining, but I think I'll pick and choose the two depending on how I'm feeling.

I don't really mind kids acting like kids, they're not important enough to get mad over. I just want to consider the best counters here.

Edit for clarity.
Author:  Punchfacer [ Thu May 16, 2013 2:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Guy pets me on the head, my reaction
I'd just be like "DUDE, don't do that, that's so gay. D;"
But that's just me.
Author:  JRBobDobbs [ Thu May 16, 2013 11:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Guy pets me on the head, my reaction
I have a simple answer. Not the recommended reaction but for me likely appropriate. Well actually come to think of it i have many answers.

First i would have likely grabbed him by the wrist and brought him to his knees. (many years of martial arts is a big help here) I'm not a fighter, i do not see out fights. I just do not want random people touching me.
(had this been a chick, even a heavy one i would have let it go and tossed in a comment perhaps)

Another option would be to say something to put him really off guard and out him in front of others. "why pat my head, you weren't patting me there last night." or something similar just be creative. (ability to shoot from this hip is a plus here)

lastly i would add this...He is looking for a reaction. He wants attention, who knows why. But simply ignoring him and turning to the nearest HB and saying "you feel that? is there a draft in here or something? I could have swore something just brushed past my head...weird." then roll into picking her up.
Author:  Watabi [ Sat May 18, 2013 11:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Guy pets me on the head, my reaction
Two up too passive. I want to have more fun with it.

One up too aggressive. Easy way to get kicked out of a party.
Author:  Pickwick [ Mon May 27, 2013 12:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Guy pets me on the head, my reaction
This reminds me of about five years ago when I was at a party. Sitting outside on a curb with some buds when this guy comes up to me and rubs my chin. Immediately punched him in the stomach got up and hooked him in the face. Apparently it's something his friends do to people and they think it's funny.

It wasn't the best option but I was outside and drunk. Looking back now, if I were in your shoes, I would have pointed down and asked him if he wants to rub my dick while he's at it.
Author:  dlightmen [ Thu May 30, 2013 9:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Guy pets me on the head, my reaction
Quote:
No, I won't hump your leg.
Author:  Mesiah [ Thu May 30, 2013 1:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Guy pets me on the head, my reaction
you got flawlessly AMOGed :/

i use the head pat trick when there is someone i want to make feel inferior. Best way to fix it is to play the gay. put some obvious pick up lines on the guy and wink at the rest of the group so they know you are joking.
Author:  Melodical [ Thu May 30, 2013 5:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Guy pets me on the head, my reaction
You need to be unreactive when this happens or your value will drop. Just turn to him and say "I'm not gay sorry" then continue chatting with the girl. If she asks what happened just tell her it's "gay code" pick up on his part.
Author:  User13247 [ Thu May 30, 2013 8:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Guy pets me on the head, my reaction
Well, this never happened to me, but I guess I'd pet him on the head as well, and add a nice man hug. The guy did it to antagonize you, you're just playing in to his game if you respond antagonistically. This course of action has the added benefit of dispensing with the need for snappy comebacks and whatnot.
Author:  skillset`fgscbbdf [ Mon Jun 03, 2013 5:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Guy pets me on the head, my reaction
Dude U just go AMOGed! :(

if that ever happens again dont act all butthurt like you did, instead just say in a playful fashion "hands of the merchandise, this shit aint free you know." or tool him by saying "Dude I'm not one of those you like" or " I like girls not boys" and turn your head away instantly after you say it. And if he gets up and wants to fight you make the " are you fucking kidding me" face and signal to the girls to leave with you because the amog just lowered his value in their eyes so they will perceive you as the alpha male. :D
Author:  vhou812 [ Tue Aug 06, 2013 4:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Guy pets me on the head, my reaction
My take on this would have been to play the "I'm so fucking sexy people can't keep their hands off me" card.

In a nutshell, I let it be known that I'm not queer, but that I fully understand that I am attractive to just about everybody to the point they can't keep their hands off me. If you're clever about it, you turn what was an act of disrespect to you into something that makes him look entirely inferior, and there really is no defense for it on his part. After all, he did just walk up and touch you out of the blue in front of everyone much like you would grab a girls ass.
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