| PUA Forum https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/ |
|
| Improving Body Language https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=128426 |
Page 1 of 1 |
| Author: | Censor [ Sat Feb 11, 2012 2:54 am ] |
| Post subject: | Improving Body Language |
First off, I would like to say hi and thank everyone in the community for all the great tips and ideas they've given throughout this forum. It have helped me alot, so now I finally decided to join myself. I started studying pick-up artistry about a year ago by a coincidence, after finding an article about "The Pick-Up Artist" series in a magazine. In school I was always the shy guy, never speaking to girls, but in a very friendly way, and made sure I never gave away my intentions. Frankly, I was wearing a social condom, protecting myself from any harm and rejection. But when I found out about game, I honed my skills and improved ALOT! But soon I found out how different my progress was in different areas, my ability to kino skyrocketed and making conversation is no longer a problem. My problem? Well, after all these years of being the nice guy, the beta-male. I have alot of trouble to show high social value, especially through body-language. I know how to DHV in convo, or at least I do feel some progress, but my body language too often show all these negative signals. My voice is natrually dark, but unless I think about it, I fall back to an alot more submissive, high-pitched tone, especially around hotter girls. A lot of rapid movements with my head and hands, cracking my knuckles, touching my face etc. The problem is that, even though I am aware of the problem, I can't seem to get rid of all the bad habits. Do any of you guys have any experience in this field, and do you have some advice? Should I try to change, habit by habit, or could it be that my inner game is not yet good enough? Thank you in advance, Censor. |
|
| Author: | ElliottGordon [ Sat Feb 11, 2012 3:02 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Your habits will change when you really start to internalize these beliefs. You can try to stop cracking your knuckles, etc., but any limiting belief you hold will still shine through. My advice? Go out and have sex with 5 women that you know you can get with. Even if they are average looking ones. Just try it on for size. You can try to change your beliefs “manually,” but if you actually live new experiences like this, you're going to change at the core. You're going to notice that you don't care so much about what these hot women think of you. This will make you come off as more attractive. |
|
| Author: | Censor [ Sat Feb 11, 2012 3:37 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thank you, great advice. I guess it becomes natural with indifference toward other peoples opinions. |
|
| Author: | poeticlyskuac [ Sat Feb 11, 2012 7:59 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Well, I can help with body language. Your inner game should be congruent with your outer game. This means at some point you have to have both meet up. For instance after you gain great inner game you won't feel confident until after you fix your outer game(body language). You won't be this confident person unless you fix your inner game but you can appear and feel confident(body language), it just won't be congruent. Now what I mean by feel confident is when we stand a certain way we begin to feel that way. It isn't just that our body language matches our emotion, it is also that emotion will begin to match our body language. So if you want to feel enclosed from anything and don't want to listen just cross your arms and shake your head no, you won't catch a word anyone is saying. Sorry I went through all of that, but a lot of people don't realize that fixing your body language indeed makes you feel better. Standing, sitting, or walking confident makes you feel confident, you may not have that confidence inside but you will on the outside. That is what I mean by the inside must be the outside. When it comes to confident body language it is in your stance, back, how you hold your head, shoulders, and arms. Stance: Confident people have a wider stance. They tend to stand in a way that takes up more space. They don't go pigeon toed, they have a wide stance. Feet pointing out as welcoming. Head: Chin up! Pretty simple, confident people don't stare at the ground while they are walking. You should be walking with your head up, and at worst your jaw should be parallel to the ground. Keep your head held high. Shoulders: Shoulders are simple, keep them wide and relaxed. Pull your scapulas back and make them wide. You want them relaxed though, don't carry all this tension in your shoulders let them relax but show you are confident. Arms: Keep your hands and arms free and open. Open palms and wrists. DO NOT CROSS YOUR ARMS, while some feel it is alpha it isn't welcoming. Keep your hands out of your pockets, you want to show you are open and hiding your hands isn't a sign you are loose, open, and confident. Use illustrators- Illustrators are when we talk how we describe things with our hands, we act like we are doing things with our hands while we are talking about it. Illustrators are a sign of charisma. Back: Keep your back straight. Lengthen that spinal chord and be as tall as possible, don't slouch. Show you are someone, you are confident. You want to have good posture and that means straighten up from your head to your toes. Let me know if you want any more. |
|
| Author: | poeticlyskuac [ Sat Feb 11, 2012 8:12 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Here is an alpha video I did a while back. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xrke6LjdkQ |
|
| Author: | Censor [ Sun Feb 12, 2012 12:57 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks, great advice from both of you. I will take this with me wherever I go! Reading your answer Poetic, made me remember that I do got another question on the subject. It's really a silly one but, whenever I'm in a conversation with women, I get to this wierd moment, I lead the situation talking about things that makes them interested and listening. But once I stop talking, I really dunno where to put my arms/hands, soon I get conscious of this as my hands move closer and closer to the bad safe-zone of my pockets. I feel akward leaving them hanging by the side as I listen to them, and crossing my arms is, as you mention, really rather negative and defensive. I have this wierd tactic trying to keep a beer bottle in one of my hands so I keep it occupied, while the other hand is resting (what is supposed to look casually) in my other pocket. I do this as I heard that one very important part of body language is asymmetry. Question in short: Where do I put my hands while listening, I can't do gestures to their stories, that would just be weird. |
|
| Author: | poeticlyskuac [ Mon Feb 13, 2012 6:02 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Thanks, great advice from both of you. I will take this with me wherever I go!
Why can't you gesture to their stories? I do. I don't know what I do with my hands all the time because I don't pay attention too closely, I do know that I do not put them in my pockets while I am in a conversation. I rarely drink so I don't always have a beer in my hand. Reading your answer Poetic, made me remember that I do got another question on the subject. It's really a silly one but, whenever I'm in a conversation with women, I get to this wierd moment, I lead the situation talking about things that makes them interested and listening. But once I stop talking, I really dunno where to put my arms/hands, soon I get conscious of this as my hands move closer and closer to the bad safe-zone of my pockets. I feel akward leaving them hanging by the side as I listen to them, and crossing my arms is, as you mention, really rather negative and defensive. I have this wierd tactic trying to keep a beer bottle in one of my hands so I keep it occupied, while the other hand is resting (what is supposed to look casually) in my other pocket. I do this as I heard that one very important part of body language is asymmetry. Question in short: Where do I put my hands while listening, I can't do gestures to their stories, that would just be weird. I guess I just tend to participate in what they are saying. I don't know if you want me to elaborate on that. I need a few more topics for videos, I'll add something up in a few days. |
|
| Author: | Ragnard [ Sat Mar 03, 2012 3:53 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
This has been a good post so far, lots of great input. Only other thing I would like to add is breathing. It relates both posture and mental state... Like a pivot point between the two. Observe where in your chest you breathe from when in a desired state, and refer back to that breathing to regain the state and posture. I've been meaning to do a write up on this sometime as breathing has been of particular interest to me lately and I've made it a major part of my NLP research |
|
| Author: | poeticlyskuac [ Sat Mar 03, 2012 8:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: This has been a good post so far, lots of great input. Only other thing I would like to add is breathing. It relates both posture and mental state... Like a pivot point between the two. Observe where in your chest you breathe from when in a desired state, and refer back to that breathing to regain the state and posture. I've been meaning to do a write up on this sometime as breathing has been of particular interest to me lately and I've made it a major part of my NLP research
Correct posture and confident body language automatically promotes a different breathing pattern.
|
|
| Author: | ben489 [ Sat Mar 10, 2012 8:42 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
One aspect of body language I'm struggling with and have seen little info on is when you are seated or in a non standing position. The way I carry myself has improved dramatically but I still have doubts about when I'm seated (date at a restaurant/cafe for example). I've tried observing others but not sure what conclusions to draw from it. |
|
| Author: | poeticlyskuac [ Sun Mar 11, 2012 4:01 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: One aspect of body language I'm struggling with and have seen little info on is when you are seated or in a non standing position. The way I carry myself has improved dramatically but I still have doubts about when I'm seated (date at a restaurant/cafe for example). I've tried observing others but not sure what conclusions to draw from it.
When you are sitting down it is still in your posture. Having your head up, your shoulders wide, and your legs should be spread apart(don't be afraid to advertise your masculinity, your crotch). You want to take up space comfortably.Being relaxed is important, a sign of "alpha" among animals(yes we are animals), is a low amount of stress and anxiety. I will put up a video on it soon. Speaking of which here are some videos on what to do with your hands that I said I'd put together. When they are talking https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K99dnAsOvh4 Telling a Story https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsnWyRmTI_4 Illustrators in relation to Charisma https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSdvJmHwcyw |
|
| Page 1 of 1 | All times are UTC |
| Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/ |
|