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| Becoming Alpha? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=136&t=95623 |
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| Author: | Coldboy [ Fri Jul 08, 2011 11:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Becoming Alpha? |
Did not find an Inner game section so this is the closest related to my question. How to become alpha of your social cirlce? My inner social circle conists of 3 of closest friends. We do a lot of shit together. However, I might be seen as a beta of the group. We have been hanging together since the 1st grade (we are starting 12th after summer) and the alpha has always been alpha for as long as I can remember. Lately as I've read pick up I've been taking over the alpha role a little by little but I still can't get the role as leader. Any suggestions to how I becoem the alpha of my group? |
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| Author: | RollTheDice [ Sat Jul 09, 2011 10:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
-Get shit done. -Show it with body language. -Be the one who knows whats up every day of the week in your town. -Be the go-to-guy if people need advice (dont be a tool nd do things they ask for, just advice). |
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| Author: | Gaius [ Sun Jul 10, 2011 7:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Don't worry about being alpha just worry about getting shit done and doing what you have to do. Be your self. Not all men could be alpha if that were the case then every person in the UK would be the king or queen. Everyone has their place in life. Try to find yours and understand you’re self. |
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| Author: | hootsmon [ Mon Jul 11, 2011 6:55 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Becoming Alpha. |
Try to build up your testosterone levels through diet and training at the gym. In turn you will become more confidant and eventually more alpha. Maybe you will never be as alpha as him- that's just genetics. Try really working at it and eating right and maybe you'll even take over. Remember, there can only be one alpha in a group so you will never be on equal terms. If you wanna be leader its a hormonal thing- and remember fats are essential to your T-levels. |
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| Author: | Psych3r [ Mon Jul 11, 2011 8:43 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Becoming Alpha? |
Quote: My inner social circle conists of 3 of closest friends. We do a lot of shit together. However, I might be seen as a beta of the group.
Be aware that within this group, you might not WANT to become alpha. Sometimes a person of a specific group is the glue that holds it together. If you've been friends since highschool days, you probably don't want to disrupt that dynamic or risk loosing your circle over it.We have been hanging together since the 1st grade (we are starting 12th after summer) and the alpha has always been alpha for as long as I can remember. Lately as I've read pick up I've been taking over the alpha role a little by little but I still can't get the role as leader. Any suggestions to how I becoem the alpha of my group? You're best approach is to make new friends outside that circle. And when your circle start seeing you less often but with HB's on your arm and general success in life they will naturally start to compare it to their own and look up to you for it. Just like the animal kingdom there is only one alpha per group, and the only way for another to take it's place there must be conflict with a defeat. Sometimes it's just not worth it, especially with life long friends you care about. |
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| Author: | hootsmon [ Tue Jul 19, 2011 7:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Success in a group. |
You have been friends for a very long time and as Psych3r rightfully said your ambition may not actually be to become the alpha male. When social groups are formed they can sometimes last for years and sometimes minutes. There is a social pecking order that exists in all multple-cell animals in the animal kingdom be it a shoal of fish, a pride of lions or a pack of wolves. This pecking order also exists in human social groups. The main difference is that in the animal kingdom it is strictly survival of the fittest- the alpha male is physically the strongest and no other animal in the group can compete. In human nature survival of the fittest does play a role in it but it you must also demonstrate value. If all you can do is beat people up then you will just be viewed as a bully and eventually your peers will revolt and kick the shit you of you and you will instantly loose all respect. We can take the example of a tribe of Aboriginies in Australia. The ultimate alpha male is the chief but he did not get that way by conquering his foes- he got there by the reputation and society laid by his forefathers. That does not mean that he might not one day be challenged and will have to defend his place, but it isn't how he got there. Other tribesmen can compete to find a worthy wife if they demonstrate high value (DHV) if a man is a good hunter the females will be attracted to him or if a man has good engineering and construction skills to build shelter from the blistering Aussie sun females will be attracted to him- these are both examples of DHV. In the society we are more familiar with different groups such as hockey teams or music bands. So in a hockey team you can have the natural alpha male that became that way through his genetics/upbringing but you can have the guy who scores the most goals for the team- his track record will build him a reputation and girl will see the value in this and become attracted to it. In short if you want to be the alpha male you have to defeat your friend. But as psych3r said- is that what you really want? Is it worth ruining years of friendship to become the alpha male? My advice to you would be to demonstrate value. Learn a new skill something he can't do or beat him at something he is not so good at. Show off with it as this will raise your value and lower his. Another thing is to become independent. Don't seek validation from him. Next time you get a hair cut don't ask for his opinion and next time you see a girl chat her up and don't look for his approval- this will show confidence, and that you don't need his permission or authorisation to do what you want and everyone's attitude (including the alpha male's) in the group will change towards you. Don't be a dick about it though because their attitudes will change for the worse. Also this will not happen over night- Social systems adapt to change slowly if they are to continue to be successful. Old habits die hard. I hope you find this helpful. |
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| Author: | Kabi [ Tue Jul 19, 2011 8:57 pm ] |
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A definition of an alpha male taken from askmen.com. I really think there are some great thoughts and examples from it. I took all of this from there but rewrited it in my way. - If you can afford it, pay for drinks, food ect. You don't have to do this all the time , but sometimes you should. This goes with friends, family and girls. (friends buy things for eachother and gets it back another time, its about give and take). Watch out for people who will suck up to you about this. Remember you give and you take. - Never apologize. Dont say "Im sorry" or "I apologize". - My teacher ones said to a classmate of mine, "You can lick my ass, but please.. don't lick the hole." It's a funny thing to say but the point is, dont suck up to people. - Don't judge people, and don't talk shit about people either. The ones that talk shit around you are likely to talk shit about you when you're not around, you do not want that image of you. You do not talk about "what just happend to X" with others (in other words, gossip), it's no ones business. And one more thing to, dont blame others for your mistakes or actions. - Do not stress about things or get into panic, take a breather and think about it. Alpha males think before they act. - Lying is not a sign of a alpha male, but the truth is that everybody lie and that it is necessary at certain moments. As long as it is a white lie ex. if you protect a friend / family. If the truth comes out and the one you lied to gets mad they cant blame you for protecting a friend (even though you lied to a friend, a friend will understand), that's just selfish. Loyalty and protection is important. |
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| Author: | xiaolinpua [ Wed Jul 20, 2011 3:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Hey man, Alpha can be projected in many different ways so you have options. Alpha doesnt exactly have to mean you lead your own group because when my wings and I go out we give eachother the spotlight; our group as a whole is alpha to the other groups in our area. When one of us starts chatting a girl we all work to make ourselves look a little better and whenever the alpha card needs to be played within our group we give it to the guy. Have you let your friends in on the community yet? Once they know the deal then you can all work together and you dont really have to out alpha them and make things wierd you can just make it like you are fun guys to hang with and your dynamic together. Good Luck! |
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| Author: | pharmerjoe [ Sun Jul 24, 2011 10:42 pm ] |
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thing with being alpha is, its not even about being best looking guy, biggest guy,etc. I actually think its about how much respect you get from the other guys in your wider social circle. Usually, it is gonna be because for instance, a whole group of guys, and one of them is the best one at playing football or something, then he will usually be the alpha male. Thats just an example, but in my experience, its about the respect you get from the other guys. |
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| Author: | RiskTrump [ Tue Aug 30, 2011 5:11 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Get highest social value girls and the men will follow you, in most cases. |
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| Author: | pook [ Thu Sep 08, 2011 6:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
talk about the shit about the things you want talk about and let them get lost in your social value their are so many people its way too much to ask for social value from them make sure your the attractive side of the group |
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| Author: | PUA movie maker [ Sun Sep 11, 2011 6:13 am ] |
| Post subject: | I am the ultimate Alpha |
if you want to be the Alpha you have to be the one who takes control. People will follow you if you seem confident in your decision making. If people see that you take care of your shit then the rest will follow. I am a professional PUA and i make movies about my pick-ups. If you watch my film you will see that i am in control at all times. The link below will take you right to my PUA movie where you see my entire method live in front of your eyes. This movie shows how i get down to business. www.cardatemovie.com To be the alpha you must take control confidently! |
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| Author: | RockSoul [ Mon Sep 12, 2011 3:13 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Becoming Alpha in a group where there is a strong Alpha, you need to learn to pass the ball to him and get it back at the right time. It's a sharing the role game and luckily, with strong Inner Game it all comes naturally. That's a big part of what makes you buds. I've read it in PUA articles about hanging out with other alphas, but the study goes to theatre and acting, where alpha-should-be's weren't able to play their roles correctly and some guy reverse-engineered the alpha dynamics. This was his major breakthrough. Adopt the alpha traits and share the leadership with your friends. |
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| Author: | Ch1mera [ Tue Sep 13, 2011 10:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
It sounds like you guys have been good friends for years - remind me why you want to be alpha..? Being alpha on a night out or in a large social group is important - it commands respect, raises your value and most importantly discourages that random hater you'd never met before to neg you. However I never try to dominate my close friends if only because there is no point - these are the people you know and trust who will back you. If you want to be respected and admired more by your friends, then you have to ask yourself: what kind of people do they admire? Go be that person. |
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| Author: | Dr. Jones [ Wed Oct 05, 2011 5:23 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Also, if you have alpha friends, hang out with them. I've seen people tout themselves as alpha's around beta's, and it's not very impressive. My alpha friends love to give me the spotlight and let me shine and I them. |
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