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Expanding your social circle
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=136&t=53081		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  StandOut [ Sat Oct 03, 2009 6:12 am ]
Post subject:  Expanding your social circle
Setting: Senior year, high school

Social proof: Among most popular and well liked guys in the grade.

Attitude:Affable, alpha,do what i want to, happy go lucky, considered one of the most hilarious kids in the grade as well(ive tried to push the envelope as far as possible with this within the limits of not being a clown, at least i hope so! haha)

Miscellaneous: ample female attention, people love to be around in me

Problem: As prior mentioned, im one of the most popular and well liked kids in the grade, friends with all the people in the "in" crowd on a one on one basis, but am not a part of it per say. i dont really care about this particular aspect as i prefer a certain type of people to be around me which i dont base off of someones social ranking. my issue is that despite being friends with all these people one on one, i dont get invited to the parties and what not (im dont drink/smoke btw). I know everyone so i would feel right at home at any one of them, once i get over the initial awkwardness due to unfamiliarity with the party environment. the people who i call my best friends (the people who i know ill carry their friendship on even after high school is over) arent outgoing what so ever, ive somewhat distanced myself from them in order to reach my goal of getting the invites to these parties. i understand parties are generally open to everyone but people dont tell me when the parties are, or where, cause im not one of the kids who goes (even though i want to). so what i want to know, mainly, is how to turn these many friendships that i have one on one into me joining the social cirlce. and the secondly ive always had trouble on how to get these people to hang out with me out of school in general, unless i invite them over, they all will come if i do invite them but i rarely get the reciprocating invite to go "out" with them on a friday night or something with there social circle, but ill get the invite to hang out with them one on one. ive successfully walked/talked/blended with the social group inside of school but never succesfully carried over into the whole: hey standout a bunch of people are going over mikes house tonite you shuold come...or the yo standout theres gonna be an awesome party over at matt's house tonite you have to come,etc etc. Which is what im looking for now...after all its senior year...i wanna tear shit up on a whole different level now 8)
Author:  Abdul-aAfc [ Sun Oct 11, 2009 11:00 am ]
Post subject: 
Well you have to connect with everybody, maybe even have your own party then invite everyone. Even though you supposedly know the popular people you still have to talk with people in the lower social circle.

Popularity is all about social proof and how many people you know, so you basically have to talk to as many people as possible
Author:  JasonJulias [ Mon Oct 12, 2009 5:10 am ]
Post subject: 
I had the same exact problem in High School. I successfully corrected the situation in several different ways.

I threw my own parties, not directly inviting the "in-crowd", but inviting those closest to their social circle. This is like an indirect DHV. If they hear that they NEED to come to a party from someone they respect, they are more likely to attend than if you invited them directly. This will get them comfortable with you being around when they are throwing parties and be see you are fun in that sort of enviroment.

You could also befriend at least one person in their social circle, male or female, enough that you become comfortable straight out asking to join them at the party. They should be more than willing to take you.
Author:  magnum45 [ Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Expanding your social circle
Quote:
Setting: Senior year, high school

Social proof: Among most popular and well liked guys in the grade.

Attitude:Affable, alpha,do what i want to, happy go lucky, considered one of the most hilarious kids in the grade as well(ive tried to push the envelope as far as possible with this within the limits of not being a clown, at least i hope so! haha)

Miscellaneous: ample female attention, people love to be around in me

Problem: As prior mentioned, im one of the most popular and well liked kids in the grade, friends with all the people in the "in" crowd on a one on one basis, but am not a part of it per say. i dont really care about this particular aspect as i prefer a certain type of people to be around me which i dont base off of someones social ranking. my issue is that despite being friends with all these people one on one, i dont get invited to the parties and what not (im dont drink/smoke btw). I know everyone so i would feel right at home at any one of them, once i get over the initial awkwardness due to unfamiliarity with the party environment. the people who i call my best friends (the people who i know ill carry their friendship on even after high school is over) arent outgoing what so ever, ive somewhat distanced myself from them in order to reach my goal of getting the invites to these parties. i understand parties are generally open to everyone but people dont tell me when the parties are, or where, cause im not one of the kids who goes (even though i want to). so what i want to know, mainly, is how to turn these many friendships that i have one on one into me joining the social cirlce. and the secondly ive always had trouble on how to get these people to hang out with me out of school in general, unless i invite them over, they all will come if i do invite them but i rarely get the reciprocating invite to go "out" with them on a friday night or something with there social circle, but ill get the invite to hang out with them one on one. ive successfully walked/talked/blended with the social group inside of school but never succesfully carried over into the whole: hey standout a bunch of people are going over mikes house tonite you shuold come...or the yo standout theres gonna be an awesome party over at matt's house tonite you have to come,etc etc. Which is what im looking for now...after all its senior year...i wanna tear shit up on a whole different level now 8)
That's great dude. I think you are making a big effort to come here and ask for help. I also think you are doing a great service to your furture by trying to figure out these problems.

I am 25 and I have a lot of friends. Friends are easy to come by if you learn how to treat people.

In my experience going to parties is about knowing the right people, but also knooowwwing them. Not just being an aquantence. I always had a smaller group of friends. One of them was in the in-crowd, but he would always party with us. The in-crowd is cool, they are socially adept and usually make good grades. It's great to aspire to be like that.

You might not see yourself as that type of person. So you consider your real friends to be more similar to you. I think the most important question you wan't to ask yourself is why do you want to be with the in crowd. If it is just to party them maybe you are better off hanging with your good friends. But if it is to hang out with people who you aspire to be more similiar too, then I suggest you move in that dirrection. Life is a long hard journey, and we all grow as the years pass. People go to college and learn about the world through travel. You are going to meet so many people and enjoy so many places. What is most important is to find out who you want to be like, and then hang out with those kinds of people.

My Dr. would recomend that you just be happy with who you currently are, but I recomend you grow because you are so young and you have so much opportunity to grow.
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