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Little sister's got me
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Author:  Reno99 [ Mon Feb 16, 2009 6:12 am ]
Post subject:  Little sister's got me
My little sister is a dominant little devil. She's not actually my sister but i live with this family for a year so i consider her that.
When we first met she would be a completely different person. She'd laugh with me, go with me to places and be fun.
When i moved in here however things shifted.
I'm not allowed to drive, and where we live you basicly have to drive to get anywhere. My sister is allowed to drive, and in the car she goes nuts.
It's basicly just only safe to sit there and remember to put your seatbelt on, or else she will scream. Don't touch the windscreen, don't change the music (Which is unbearable at times) or the volume, and don't turn the heat up or down, even though you're about to faint. If she has friends with her i'm getting chucked in the back seat. Basically, i rely on this girl for so much, but i have to pay the price in allowing myself to be betaed all the time.
Another thing is that she will not, on whatever the subject leave it be. We can be debating wether it's cool, chill or freezing in the air, and she will have to have her definition right, even if it includes derogatory, bringing up very clearly that she has had AP english and obviously can't be wrong, and screaming.

Now i'm not mad because i'm fine with being wrong and i don't need the last word in, but if i continue a discussion, she will not let it go. She will say, "God you're so annoying, just shut up!" as a last resort.

I just needed to vent. If anybody has tips for handling bratty little princesses please tell me. I felt really Beta writing that, but the thing is i was clearly alpha before and she responded positively to me, now that my situation almost requires me to rely on her, she is just the biggest bitch ever sometimes...
Author:  LEPRECHAUN [ Mon Feb 16, 2009 6:29 am ]
Post subject: 
Be ALPHA again towards her. Stop being her little bitch (beta).

Start telling her, "No. You are going to take me here."
"I am changing the radio station."
(when she goes to change it back slap her hand and say)
"No. It's staying here."
(if she gets pissy, whines, or whatever say)
"Shut up. You look like an old lady when you whine/get pissy."

If her friends are in the car and she starts out-alphaing you just say,
"Will you shit up, I am talking here."
"Hey, princess, shut up and let someone else talk. The world does not
revolve around you."

"I am sitting in the front, I need more room than your friend."
"I am sitting in the front, I am the man of this car, now shut up and drive."

Or, you can sit in the back with the other friend and game her. Sitting in the
backseat can have its advantages and disadvantages. It all depends on
how you look at it.

If you are in the backseat, you can just start telling her friends and others,
"Yeah, this is my driver. She drives me wherever."

Make the best of your situation.

Sitting in the backseat also gives you the option to lean forward and talk
or whisper to her friend that is in the front seat and make her laugh.

I am wanting to guess that you "sister" is kind of heavy-set, maybe pushing
more than 130-145 pounds and around 5 feet 5 inches tall.

Now, if she a 9-10 (on the scale of hotness) then she has been getting
everything she has ever wanted from everyone and needs to see the real
world. Also, more than likely, her friends do not like her and are only using
her because she either has, money, popularity, a car, other guy friends,
or whatever they can have because they are her friend too.

You have to remember that people choose their friends because that certain
person has something that the other person wants in their life too.
Author:  Stormy [ Mon Feb 16, 2009 7:00 am ]
Post subject: 
I'd say to do the exact opposite of what Lep said.

You said it yourself, you're relying heavily on her. It's probably not your fault that you can't drive, but she's stuck with you because of it and she's probably not happy about it, so she's taking it out on you.

If you want the music or air conditioner changed, be sure to ask her if it's okay. This IS her car.

Maybe I'm misinterpreting this and she's picking fights with you? If that's the case, go completely passive. Don't argue with her about anything.

And save up for your own car, dammit.
Author:  Reno99 [ Mon Feb 16, 2009 7:10 am ]
Post subject: 
Thank's alot

She is very good looking. around and 8.

The reason i can't drive is because i'm an exchange student, and it's in the contract not to drive, even if i'm old enough and can afford it

Another thing is that when she's not driving we will also be fighting over the front seat. In the beginning she called shotgun before me, and i honored that. But then when i started calling that before her, she just said that she had to have the front seat because she'd get sick if not. You can't protest. Now being a gentleman and giving up your seat is one thing, but having her shove it in your face that you're in the back seat is quite painfull to endure. I try to make the best of it, afterall i can lay down and sleep, but i can't help but to let it get to me.

Other things are
She'll demand that i unplug everything in my room because it "Sucks power even when it's not running" and if i don't belive her she'll get her mother and show me the commercial and al gore movie. which is besides the point because nobody really cares if stuff is plugged in.

She'll complain about stuff she's not even remotely affected by
"Why are you having a sandwitch roll for breakfast!?"

She'll argue her point of view as the correct one no matter how stupid
As for instance that wether or not the fruit i was holding was a grapefuit or an orange. (It was an orange, she was wrong but assumed i had to be wrong since quote: "You're almost always wrong"

I'll say "I'm soooo tired". In a demeanor that is just like a "I'm going to bed" kind of thing
She'll say: "I really don't want to listen to you complaining"

This is venting for me. But it's weird how that really makes you feel beta. It's like she's got her "Time of the month" 6 out of 7 days, and her misery needs company
Author:  cadej [ Mon Feb 16, 2009 7:24 am ]
Post subject: 
dude holy shit i would not put up with all that. the ride shit, i can KIND OF understand but definatly not to that OCD bitchy ass nonsense. i wouldnt be an ass in this situation, but i would definatly say something about it.
Author:  Stormy [ Mon Feb 16, 2009 2:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
I think you're just dealing with a miserable human being here. If this were some chick in a club, I'd tell you to pop open another set because it's not worth it. But apparently you're stuck with her.

And she's an Al Gore fan, too? Oh, wow. I think I can understand how annoying she is now. :roll:

I doubt you're going to change the way she acts towards you. If I were in your situation, I'd either go passive and deal with her as little as possible, or be passive in action but cheerful in attitude. Doing that will demonstrate that what she thinks doesn't matter to you, she can't affect your state, and you're just going to keep doing your thing.
Author:  LEPRECHAUN [ Mon Feb 16, 2009 4:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
She'll complain about stuff she's not even remotely affected by
"Why are you having a sandwitch roll for breakfast!?"
Just tell her that are having one because you know she will say something
about it and you don't want her to not have nothing to say.

Or, just tell her, because you like it.
Quote:
She'll argue her point of view as the correct one no matter how stupid
As for instance that wether or not the fruit i was holding was a grapefuit or an orange. (It was an orange, she was wrong but assumed i had to be wrong since quote: "You're almost always wrong"
She just is out to seek attention from you. To get you to BLOW UP with her
and have a big ass argument with her. Or, as stated below, she sees you
as the brother she never had.
Quote:
I'll say "I'm soooo tired". In a demeanor that is just like a "I'm going to bed" kind of thing
She'll say: "I really don't want to listen to you complaining"
Tell her that you really don't want to listen to her complain about something
that does not affect her what-so-ever. Instead, just go outside.. If she follows
you, and starts another argument, just interrupt her and tell her,
"Look sis, you really need to stop following me around like a little puppy
dog, it's cute and all, but it gets really annoying."
Quote:
Front seat vs. Back seat argument
Just start going straight to the back seat. Let her have the front seat, if she
says something like, "that's right, you know your spot." Just tell her,
"No. I just prefer the back seat because it's further away from you and I
can keep my eye on you and make sure that you behave yourself."

---

Now, I know that foreign exchange students have like representatives that
you can talk to if your living situation is unbearable... right?

Call your rep and let them know that you are uncomfortable and see if they
can find you another family that supports exchange students.

Now, I don't know how the whole thing works, but I am sure that if you are
uncomfortable in a house, then there is SOMEONE that you can talk to about
it and they will find you another family that you can go to... I am pretty sure
of it.

If not, then you should just start hanging out with her dad or brother or hell,
even start hanging out with her mom. And if this HB 8 starts getting more
irate towards you, then you should let the mom or dad know that she is
really making you uncomfortable and that you don't think you can stay there
any longer.

The family that accepts a foreign exchange student gets paid for doing it,
so the mom/dad might talk to their daughter and tell her to calm the hell
down.

And the person who said that it's her car and that she might be mad that
she has to take you places might be right. But the fact that she is constantly
in your face about stuff might mean that she HAS NOT had a brother that
she could argue with, and tell to do stuff.

She might just be seeing you as a brother she never had.

She don't pick on you because you are foreign, does she? If not, then she
sees you as a brother that she can pick on. Just pick back. Say this to her,
"Look sis, blah blah blah.." Just begin every sentence with "Look sis..."

Act like a part of the family, call her MOM "mom", call her DAD "dad" just
get into the situation, and think of it as a way to practice some acting skills.
If you have no acting skills, then that is okay. Just have fun with it.

When she tells you that you have to unplug everything in your room because
it is sucking power blah blah blah... just tell her, "I'll unplug one thing, if
you unplug one thing." And just keep going until she decides that she don't
want to unplug anymore stuff.

If her mom tells you to unplug it all so HER DAUGHTER don't get all pissed
off and spazz out... just tell the mom, "It's so uncool for her have ME unplug
stuff when she won't compromise and unplug some of her things."
Author:  Thymology [ Thu Mar 19, 2009 9:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hey, I'm just wondering how this worked out for you. I would have just asked in a calm, sincere way "[name], have I ever done anything to hurt you"? Act like you're genuinely concerned that you may have unwittingly done something to hurt her in the past.

Unless of course, you've moved out already.
Author:  skittles_99 [ Wed May 06, 2009 4:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
I think the real problem is that she treats you with no respect. The name of the game; FRAME CONTROL! Remember, if your reality is stronger than hers, then you become dominant and control the frame and consequently the interaction between the both of you. Don't even bother responding properly to this shit, because you're just playing her game, which you obviously don't want to. You can either ignore it or just give her a complete rubbish response to her question, the subtext being 'I'm not even going to give you a proper response because that's such a stupid this to waste your time saying to me'.

This is how I would handle it:
- 'Why are you having a sandwich roll for breakfast?'

1. It's how I get my superpowers (This is a rubbish response for a rubbish question).
2. *Stare at her for about three seconds, continue eating, then pick up the paper and start reading it* (Subtext being; I don't want to participate in this interaction at all. I acknowledged you said something and chose to totally disregard it).
3. Because I am a sandwich roll! (Don't have to say this, the point is just be silly)
4. You told me to...don't you remember? (probably just get up and walk away after this, leaving her baffled. This basically demonstrates that you are her plaything, because she think you are hers, so you're going to mess with her right back).

- 'It's a grapefruit, not an orange!'

1. It's an aboriginal
2. *stare at her for about three seconds, pick up the paper and start reading it*
3. Maybe it's a creature from another dimension? You never know!
4. You're a grapefruit...

These are pretty bad examples, but you get the point. I recommend you read up on frame control for this situation. It's good because, particularly in this situation, you are not lowering yourself to her level. She'll start respecting you more and you'll find these attack will gradually stop!
Author:  bchtreffendy22 [ Wed Jul 08, 2009 12:35 am ]
Post subject: 
hey reno99...

i've been in the same boat as you. about four years ago, i had to stay at my aunt's house 'cause she was spending for my college education. and she had this bratty highschool daughter that used to be my friend but eventually became my worst nightmare.

i had to endure her complaints, screams, demands, stares and whatever, because i felt like i didn't the right to fight back. the one time i told her off, i came out the loser. not only did she win the argument because she was good at confrontation, but it also reflected poorly on my character as a boarder. my aunt favored her and i got a little discouraged. eventually withdrew myself from her. i just kept out of sight, out of things, stayed in my room most of the time, and sometimes, went home late just so i could avoid being treated badly. looking back upon it, i think i could have done better for myself, and maybe saved the relationship i have with my cousin.

1. i should have gotten to know her more. how she wanted things to be, how she wanted me to be. she was an only child and was used to being alone. i became a constant figure in their house and naturally became her rival in terms of food supply, use of television, use of space, use of the bathroom. i was invading her territory. so the least i could have done was pay my respects. i know it sounds too submissive but that's just how it is. imagine how you'd feel in her situation? I should have known and adhered to her set rules. in time, i would have appeased her, and finally gain her respect as well. if not, at least, i would have lived my life peacefully, without her ranting all the time about her dislikes and disapprovals.
2. also, i should have communicated more. even in gestures. she was younger than me. obviously prone to insecurities and childish branding. i should have made it clear that i wasn't the enemy nor did i plan to be hers. i should have taken care of her more. that way she'd know i had her best intentions at heart. it's not easy to get someone's trust. but if you do, even by preparing her a meal, or buying her something she really needs or wants when you happen to pass it, would really make a difference.

if these two doesn't work, then just become invisible like i did. it's not healthy, but it got me through.

p.s. i really hope it works out for you. i know how frustrating it can be.
Author:  bchtreffendy22 [ Wed Jul 08, 2009 12:37 am ]
Post subject: 
hey reno99...

i've been in the same boat as you. about four years ago, i had to stay at my aunt's house 'cause she was spending for my college education. and she had this bratty highschool daughter that used to be my friend but eventually became my worst nightmare.

i had to endure her complaints, screams, demands, stares and whatever, because i felt like i didn't the right to fight back. the one time i told her off, i came out the loser. not only did she win the argument because she was good at confrontation, but it also reflected poorly on my character as a boarder. my aunt favored her and i got a little discouraged. eventually withdrew myself from her. i just kept out of sight, out of things, stayed in my room most of the time, and sometimes, went home late just so i could avoid being treated badly. looking back upon it, i think i could have done better for myself, and maybe saved the relationship i have with my cousin.

1. i should have gotten to know her more. how she wanted things to be, how she wanted me to be. she was an only child and was used to being alone. i became a constant figure in their house and naturally became her rival in terms of food supply, use of television, use of space, use of the bathroom. i was invading her territory. so the least i could have done was pay my respects. i know it sounds too submissive but that's just how it is. imagine how you'd feel in her situation? I should have known and adhered to her set rules. in time, i would have appeased her, and finally gain her respect as well. if not, at least, i would have lived my life peacefully, without her ranting all the time about her dislikes and disapprovals.
2. also, i should have communicated more. even in gestures. she was younger than me. obviously prone to insecurities and childish branding. i should have made it clear that i wasn't the enemy nor did i plan to be hers. i should have taken care of her more. that way she'd know i had her best intentions at heart. it's not easy to get someone's trust. but if you do, even by preparing her a meal, or buying her something she really needs or wants when you happen to pass it, would really make a difference.

if these two doesn't work, then just become invisible like i did. it's not healthy, but it got me through.

p.s. i really hope it works out for you. i know how frustrating it can be.
Author:  Legion [ Fri Jul 17, 2009 12:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Wow, what a horrible little cunt.
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