PUA Forum :: Making new friends

Hey guys,

I've noticed recently after I moved to a new city that I can't make solid friends. What I mean by solid friends is the type of friends that you meet up with and do random stuff.

I've been going out, socialising and joined a couple of groups that do they same things that I'm interested in as hobbies and it's all cool there, I've met people in those groups , I chat with them while doing these activities together, but the thing is that outside of these groups I can't seem to be able to get people out to hang out with me. It just seems like everyone is so busy with their lifes that they don't have time to do any more things or they'd rather hang out and do stuff with their solid friends instead.

For example I went to a meetup last time with a social group for drinks and it was fun, I met guys, talked about different topics, we've shared stories, got to know each other , it was a good night out. The thing is that after such night when I send them a text message and offer to hang out and do something or go somehere they always say that they've got other stuff planned and can't make it.

Now my question is how do I make solid friends instead of acquaintances that I share common interests with ? what could I possibly be doing wrong ?

Author:	MADRados [ Sun Jun 14, 2015 7:59 pm ]
Post subject:	Making new friends
Hey guys, I've noticed recently after I moved to a new city that I can't make solid friends. What I mean by solid friends is the type of friends that you meet up with and do random stuff. I've been going out, socialising and joined a couple of groups that do they same things that I'm interested in as hobbies and it's all cool there, I've met people in those groups , I chat with them while doing these activities together, but the thing is that outside of these groups I can't seem to be able to get people out to hang out with me. It just seems like everyone is so busy with their lifes that they don't have time to do any more things or they'd rather hang out and do stuff with their solid friends instead. For example I went to a meetup last time with a social group for drinks and it was fun, I met guys, talked about different topics, we've shared stories, got to know each other , it was a good night out. The thing is that after such night when I send them a text message and offer to hang out and do something or go somehere they always say that they've got other stuff planned and can't make it. Now my question is how do I make solid friends instead of acquaintances that I share common interests with ? what could I possibly be doing wrong ?

Author:	magipimp [ Sun Jun 14, 2015 8:31 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Making new friends
Damn, what a post. So, the idea hear is to create an entourage social circle. You should have one guy who is more or slightly less than your equal and then people under you two in the social hierarchy. Your social circle needs to be their main source of social connection. They can't have many other "real friends" having connections and acquaintances are ok, and they should be easily persuaded into doing things you and your first mate find fun. They should have a great time during these events, if they aren't then try to help them out. You also have to look out for them and consider them like family because they will feel the same towards you. In japan they call this nakama. They should probably be good at socializing since you like to go out right? hanging around here lol. That being said, to start this find a wing on here for the first mate. Go out having fun and look for those dudes who hang on walls and are out by themselves. Talk with them see where their heads are, they may be nervous at talking to women so see what other things they are good at. Find out how their schedules look, you don't want a person at work all of the time remember, you want someone to hang out with who has a similar schedule to you. Build up to about 5 solid guys (or guys and girls) and make sure everyone knows each other. You'll be pretty much the center of everything so if you want them communicating with each other and not just you you'll have to encourage it.

Author:	MADRados [ Mon Jun 15, 2015 6:21 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Making new friends
magipimp - Thankyou for your reply, awesome content. In relation to what you say I can think of a guy I know that's popular but the people that he surrounds himself with are mostly lower status than he is. I'll keep your answer in my mind. Anyone else has any other tips that could help me out ?

Author:	magipimp [ Mon Jun 15, 2015 7:18 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Making new friends
You want to make friends with people who are higher status than you also, those would be in those circles you talk about. This is how you raise yourself up. But you are talking about having friends that pretty much hang with you all of the time. Higher status people already have a ton of friends they hang with. If you want to just be around higher status people then you would essentially be on their schedule since they are after all higher status than you.

Author:	MADRados [ Wed Jun 17, 2015 10:23 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Making new friends
So in essence what do I do to raise myself up and gain higher status ? I can think of: ->Offer values (I'm getting better and better at it lately) - As offering value I try to help others out, bring positive vibes to the group, be enthusiastic and interested in others, invite others to do stuff and invite to events. What else could I offer to other people ? ->Know other high status people (as you said) ->Be interesting and do interesting stuff ?

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Author:	rounin [ Wed Jun 17, 2015 10:27 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Making new friends
Making More Money is definitely a way.

Author:	MADRados [ Wed Jun 24, 2015 5:46 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Making new friends
It is but I dont want my status to be solely based on money because once I get stripped out of it then I'm left with nothing. So any other suggestions ?

Author:	vhou812 [ Thu Sep 10, 2015 3:41 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Making new friends
This is hard when you are in a new environment. In my experience, time is what really bonds people together. My own best friend is so for only one reason, he and roomed together years ago. Your main problem is that you don't spend enough time with any of them. If you have several different hobbies, this can be part of your struggle. If you spend one night a week with one group doing x, and one night doing y with another group, you never see anyone in either group enough for them to really feel comfortable with you. One thing that will increase your value socially is for guys to see your success with women. It can actually be easier to make WOMEN friends first. If you can do this and show up at some of your group things with a couple different women in tow, some of the guys in that group will notice, and they will gravitate to you with the idea that A. you have a different woman with you all the time and B. even if you aren't fucking them, that just means you aren't competition for them to get laid. In a new environment, this is just like being just out of college and landing the first job. The first one is the hardest. But what you're experiencing is pretty normal.

Author:	elliotrey [ Sun Sep 20, 2015 7:15 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Making new friends
Quote: Hey guys, I've noticed recently after I moved to a new city that I can't make solid friends. What I mean by solid friends is the type of friends that you meet up with and do random stuff. I've been going out, socialising and joined a couple of groups that do they same things that I'm interested in as hobbies and it's all cool there, I've met people in those groups , I chat with them while doing these activities together, but the thing is that outside of these groups I can't seem to be able to get people out to hang out with me. It just seems like everyone is so busy with their lifes that they don't have time to do any more things or they'd rather hang out and do stuff with their solid friends instead. For example I went to a meetup last time with a social group for drinks and it was fun, I met guys, talked about different topics, we've shared stories, got to know each other , it was a good night out. The thing is that after such night when I send them a text message and offer to hang out and do something or go somehere they always say that they've got other stuff planned and can't make it. Now my question is how do I make solid friends instead of acquaintances that I share common interests with ? what could I possibly be doing wrong ? Hey superstar, I hear you there. I would broaden your reach - sometimes the best people are found in unusual circumstances. What I did when I first moved to bristol and also traveling the state's is I went out alone. I just did that. I didn't care where I went I just went. Then I found places I liked and warmed up everyone I could. We you warm up a place and frequent it naturally you draw people in. Also with people your already connecting with to build that relationship - I would say your texting shouldn't always be focused to getting them out. Often you use texting to further solidify the relationship and hype up a future projection of you all having fun together week's before you actually make a move to meet up. The other thing is focusing actually meeting up to weekday's instead of weekends. Weekends peoples almost always already have plan's made - weekdays tho many people are free after work. Particularly women actually. The other idea's I found worked well - is after my Kung Fu class I would just get people out with me straight away. I would invite them to either something I was 'already going to' or to something I just loved. All these have deep elements of #KINGGAME embedded in them. Don't worry it won't be like this forever - you WILL get those solid friends and YOU will be successful. I can smell it.

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