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Thoughts on My Habit Building Process?
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Author:  Nicholas Drillman [ Mon Jan 12, 2015 1:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Thoughts on My Habit Building Process?
I've been playing around with different ideas and techniques for habit building over the years, and this is my most recent take on it (well, the short version):

Each month, I publish a list of the habits I’m currently trying to establish in my life on my blog (like “do at least 2 approaches per day”) and document my day-to-day successes and failures via Google Docs. And then I punish myself for the latter ones… $10 for every single time I didn’t stick to a habit.

Since Pick Up is kinda like the ultimate habit building playground (that's at least how I first got into contact with the concept) I would be very interested in your feedback, to further optimize my process! Specifically:
  • Do you use self-punishment as well and if yes, what types of self-punishment?
    Do you also use incentives to get yourself to do certain things? (not part of my process at all yet...). If yes, what kind of incentives?
    What types of habits are you primarily working on? Which ones do you struggle the most with?
I would be super interested to hear your ideas!

Nicholas
Author:  Aitch1 [ Mon Feb 16, 2015 5:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Thoughts on My Habit Building Process?
sorry I have no answer to your question but I also have a related question. I have just discovered how helpful self punishment can be in developing habits so I have started doing it. Now I am trying to think of a good one for not approaching. any ideas? the best I can think of is a 15 minute ban from speaking to anyone when I am out sarging if I see a hot girl and don't approach within a minute.
Author:  fudge_88 [ Wed Feb 18, 2015 2:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Thoughts on My Habit Building Process?
I first wake up in the morning and remind myself that small consistent steps over a period of time creates amazing results. And, the hardest part is getting started, but after I start to peel off that initial layers of starting, the action I want to do is easy. Like an orange.

I envision myself peeling an orange and eating the orange every morning. All of this boils down to piercing that initial layer of getting started. The mind plays tricks and makes things seem harder than they really are. After I internalized this concept taking action on any new habit has become easy. I still remind myself this every day. It's the habit of taking action.

I self program new habits into my subconsciousness using the techniques from Program your mind for Success in Record time!

The three I am programming right now...

Intense extreme FOCUS.
A BURNING DESIRE For SUCCESS.
The ATTITUDE of GREATNESS.

No reward/punishment necessary at this point. I just get in motion and everything takes care of itself.
Author:  Nicholas Drillman [ Fri Feb 20, 2015 4:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Thoughts on My Habit Building Process?
Quote:
sorry I have no answer to your question but I also have a related question. I have just discovered how helpful self punishment can be in developing habits so I have started doing it. Now I am trying to think of a good one for not approaching. any ideas? the best I can think of is a 15 minute ban from speaking to anyone when I am out sarging if I see a hot girl and don't approach within a minute.
Hey Aitch,
I definitly think you are on the right track by implementig self-punishment into your approaching routine. I have seen great improvements in ALL areas of my life, since implementing it. But I'm not sure if it makes much sense to ban yourself from talking for 15 minutes as punishment - I mean, that's actually the behavior you want to ingrain in yourself, talking to girls on the street! How about doing 10 push ups for every time you don't approach, right there on the spot, in the street or in the club? That would also add an element of social pressure, as you will probably get a few funny looks from pedestrians walking by ;-) Just an idea, but maybe a start!
Author:  Aitch1 [ Mon Feb 23, 2015 6:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Thoughts on My Habit Building Process?
Quote:
Hey Aitch,
I definitly think you are on the right track by implementig self-punishment into your approaching routine. I have seen great improvements in ALL areas of my life, since implementing it. But I'm not sure if it makes much sense to ban yourself from talking for 15 minutes as punishment - I mean, that's actually the behavior you want to ingrain in yourself, talking to girls on the street! How about doing 10 push ups for every time you don't approach, right there on the spot, in the street or in the club? That would also add an element of social pressure, as you will probably get a few funny looks from pedestrians walking by ;-) Just an idea, but maybe a start!
coincidentally 10 push ups is already my main self punishment I use for many other things. you are right the 10 minute ban was a bad idea, it didn't help at all lol. I just wasted more time. I thought of 10 push ups but I just won't do it in a busy street on my own in the middle of the day. Any other ideas?
Author:  fudge_88 [ Mon Feb 23, 2015 12:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Thoughts on My Habit Building Process?
Develop the habit of taking action. It bleeds over to everything else and you don't have to use self punishment tricks. Become a doer. It's that simple.

I've never liked the idea of trying to leverage punishment to get myself to do an action. I just wouldn't do the punishment either since it is worse than the action was initially.
Author:  Nicholas Drillman [ Mon Feb 23, 2015 3:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Thoughts on My Habit Building Process?
Quote:
Quote:
Hey Aitch,
I definitly think you are on the right track by implementig self-punishment into your approaching routine. I have seen great improvements in ALL areas of my life, since implementing it. But I'm not sure if it makes much sense to ban yourself from talking for 15 minutes as punishment - I mean, that's actually the behavior you want to ingrain in yourself, talking to girls on the street! How about doing 10 push ups for every time you don't approach, right there on the spot, in the street or in the club? That would also add an element of social pressure, as you will probably get a few funny looks from pedestrians walking by ;-) Just an idea, but maybe a start!
coincidentally 10 push ups is already my main self punishment I use for many other things. you are right the 10 minute ban was a bad idea, it didn't help at all lol. I just wasted more time. I thought of 10 push ups but I just won't do it in a busy street on my own in the middle of the day. Any other ideas?
Hey Aitch,
What about this one: You can't watch TV / play video games / go online on a day you didn't do an approach?
Author:  Nicholas Drillman [ Mon Feb 23, 2015 3:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Thoughts on My Habit Building Process?
Quote:
Develop the habit of taking action. It bleeds over to everything else and you don't have to use self punishment tricks. Become a doer. It's that simple.

I've never liked the idea of trying to leverage punishment to get myself to do an action. I just wouldn't do the punishment either since it is worse than the action was initially.
If that is working for you, that is great, and I mean it! But for most guys that suffer from major approach anxiety and are not able to approach by themselves yet, that is not very actionable advice. It's like saying "Dude, just be yourself!" to someone who is not very good with women yet. Guys who haven't done a couple of hundred approaches yet need the baby steps like self punishment, to get them started. Otherwise they will just drop Pick Up altogether without ever experiencing the great benefits it can add to your life.
Author:  fudge_88 [ Mon Feb 23, 2015 6:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Thoughts on My Habit Building Process?
See you misunderstand. It's not about baby steps. It's about going crazy!

But that aside, I remember the days of battling AA. I did a bunch of different things. Including testing out self punishment. I just wouldn't do the punishment either. The reason being AA is born from the lack of an approach habit. The punishment you try to leverage against the AA to create the approach habit is also not a habit of yours.

For the same average guy who you speak for with AA how can they get started on taking action on self punishment, while being unable to take action on the actual habit they are trying to create.

Your advice is the equivalent of saying "you can't create the habit? try creating a different habit to help create the first habit!" That's silly.

My advice was not the equivalent of "just be yourself". You must not have read my first post where I list a book that teaches you how to self program behaviors and habits into your brain.

It's a neuron path creation system. You take the idea of having a habit of taking action. You break down what that is and you use the techniques in the book to program it into your brain. Changing your personality on a biological level.

Consider it becoming a software programmer for your own personality.
Author:  Aitch1 [ Tue Feb 24, 2015 9:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Thoughts on My Habit Building Process?
i think one that may be helping me, although I haven't tried it enough times to be sure is. Instead of deciding I am going to be approaching for 3 hours, i tell myself my 3 hours starts after the first approach. so I know I need to hurry up and just do it if I want to go home. Usually the approaches after the first aren't too bad.
then I give rewards like say if I approach 5 times in an hour, I am aloud to watch a film or something when i get home
Author:  Nicholas Drillman [ Wed Feb 25, 2015 11:59 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Thoughts on My Habit Building Process?
Quote:
i think one that may be helping me, although I haven't tried it enough times to be sure is. Instead of deciding I am going to be approaching for 3 hours, i tell myself my 3 hours starts after the first approach. so I know I need to hurry up and just do it if I want to go home. Usually the approaches after the first aren't too bad.
then I give rewards like say if I approach 5 times in an hour, I am aloud to watch a film or something when i get home
I like it, keep it up man! I think applying positive reinforcement through self-rewards (like watching a movie) is just as good a strategy as self-punishment, maybe even better. Essentially, it's two sides of the same coin, i.e. what they call operant conditioning in psychology. I like to use that too, sometimes. E.g. allow myself some ice cream after I finished that really unpleasant task that has been sitting around on my desk for days.

Or you could just manipulate your neuron path creation system and change your personality on a biological level :mrgreen:
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