I'm starting my 2nd year of university, last year wasn't that great.

Okay so it's not really my first time. I went with my SPAM to the University student union(the only club in the town) on my first day. It was my first ever time clubbing and my confidence was quite low anyways. One of my SPAM was such an ASSHOLE. He was also physically really big and intimidating which didn't help me. He kept on trying to manipulate me into doing what ever he wanted and tried to destroy my confidence when I didn't. I had 1 drink but didn't want to drink anymore. No matter how many times I said no he wouldn't shut up and kept on trying to make me drink more even though I told him it's because of my religious beliefs. I didn't give in to the fucker which is great, but he made the whole night awkward and destroyed my confidence which affected all my interactions that night and ruined my relationship with my SPAM.

That's the only time I've ever been to a club and HATED it. This year however I'm determined to be more social and I need to go to the Student Union to socialise more.

How should I behave when in a club? What kind of stuff should I talk about in clubs? I hear that people don't really wanna talk about serious stuff like education and work at clubs; so what am I suppose to talk about? Should I just go and get a little bit drunk to get rid of some nerves? The one thing I'm MOST nervous about is DANCING! I have no idea how to dance and I feel self conscious and stupid when doing it.....

I go back to university in two weeks so any advice is greatly appreciated, thankyou!

So you've been to a club and hated it, you seem to have disliked a certain type of person that you get at a club (and let me tell you that there are always going to be idiots at clubs, especially once fueled by alcohol), you don't seem to be the sort of person who wants to go out and get smashed and crazy drunk, and the topics of conversation you would seem to be comfortable discussing aren't things that you think you can discuss in a club.

So why are you going? Being social doesn't mean you have to go to a particular place. Join a sports club, or a society or just find some new friends from your course or whatever. Clubs aren't really a great place to "be more social", as you don't talk and make friendships.

Don't get me wrong - I love clubbing, so I'm not trying to tell you not to go. But you just don't sound like you really want to. And if you don't want to, then there are plenty of other (and far better) ways to be more social.

However, if you do want to go, then Mr.Matt's advice is about right to be honest - just enjoy yourself. Don't dance goofy, but if you're dancing with a group of people, then just loosen up a bit, and go with it. Smile, laugh. Have fun. Don't fret how bad you're dancing is - most people in clubs can't dance!

I personally hate clubbing as well. Never worked for me.

I've been dancing for 3 years now though, but I still don't feel comfortable dancing at a regular nightclub freestyle. For those of us who are rhythmically, athletically and musically challenged (I am all three), that can be a big goal to tackle. For me still too big of a challenge.

Plus, think about this. Even if you were kinda good, how many girls can you realistically dance with or get to know in a loud, dark nightclub? Not many in my opinion.

My recommendation? Don't dance on the dance floor. Just take dance classes. Find the Salsa classes. You'll dance with 30 different girls in one night sometimes. It's not too loud, you don't have to go to the music, the girls are just as new as you are. It's the best way to go.

Also, that flat mate who is bigger than you who is ordering you around and 'disrespecting' you so much. That is something I would deal with pronto. He obviously caused you a lot of psychological damage. You have to learn how to stick up for yourself.

He's probably just doing all that to get a rise out of you. No one trusts the quiet guy who keeps taking it, goes along with everything and quietly gets angry. Just do to him, what he does to you and you will gain his respect. He might physically hurt you, but he would be a coward if he did so to a smaller / developing guy. But give it a shot. Talk shit to the shit talker. Try to learn from him. Maybe he is actually helping you learn and is just testing you.

Skills, I was skeptical. But I looked at your videos and I was shocked. Amazing stuff man. I can see the potential of what you know. I had never once in my life seen that sort of thing in person.

I can see myself experimenting with that. A+

Thanks for all the advice guys.

I won't really have to deal with that asshole SPAM anymore. I've moved into a different flat with a friend so I'll probably only see him around Uni and the gym every now and then. 100% I will bump into him at the club(he goes like 3 times a week) but whatever, he's jut a "Hi, Bye" guy to me now, probably just a bit of polite conversation if I have to speak to him. He's actually a pickup artist and a pretty good one at that; sure he gets some girls but most guys don't like him as hes always acting like an asshole. Not a nice person to be around. It even says on his facebook "Dickhead and proud" so him being an asshole is obviously part of his "routine". After that night I pretty much cut him off and made hardly any effort to speak to him. It was super awkward living in the house with him, but whatever.

My aspiration in pickup isn't to f-close loads of girls, I just wanna become a more confident, social person that knows how to flirt with the ladies. I'm more interested in attaining relationships than f-closes. I'm like Sweater in Neill Strauss' The Game.

I just wanna be able to have fun and enjoy myself in a club and get chatting to some girls and stuff. I'm out of my comfort zone in clubs so I need to desensitize myselft to them and learn how to "behave." I will read that link you posted earlier skills