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Showing Emotions and being congruent.
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=135&t=97459
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Author:  DeadlyForce [ Sun Jul 31, 2011 1:47 am ]
Post subject:  Showing Emotions and being congruent.

Hey guys I have got into the PUA thing for more then 6 months now and I have progressed since then. I can carry a conversation approach almost any girl and close the deal on some occasions. However, there is one thing that I am missing the emotional part of this whole thing. Meaning when I talk to a girl I am pretty confident but in the back of my head I am always thinking in a way of like it's not real. Once I really get comfortable with her I really start to be like programmed doing things that are not part of me. I know this is not a psychology forum but if someone can answer me how I can learn to express my emotions with congruency it would change my life. I appreciate for all those that will answer my question. If you had similar case and you share it I will be happy to read it too.

Author:  AttractionKings [ Sun Jul 31, 2011 7:13 am ]
Post subject: 

Sounds like the ending of The Game and you feel like a robot. Are you trying to express your emotions to girls you want a relationship with? or girls you just wanna f*ck close? I'm assuming relationship because it wouldn't matter if you're just going for the f*ck close.

Author:  nnguy625 [ Sun Jul 31, 2011 7:20 am ]
Post subject: 

Hey Deadly,

Here is my answer to your question. Emotions are real. They're not fake. You can't pretend to be happy if you're not truly happy. It will show through your voice, your body language, and through anything that you're trying to convey. The only way to express your emotions with congruency is that you have to learn how to face your emotions. What I mean is you experience it and then acknowledge and then do something with it. If you're happy embrace it. If you're sad, face the things that make you sad. If you're scared, knw that you're scared and do something with your fears, don't hide or cover it up. Be a man and don't be afraid of your own emotions. Majority of the time, the reason why you're not congruent with your emotions is because you're either concealing it or you're pretending to do the things that your heart is telling you not to. It's like your brain is telling you to do this, but your gut feeling is like dude, it's not right, it's not right, but in your mind, you're logically trying to justify and analyze things. Over time, this becomes a habit, and whenever your emotions come up, you will shut them out habitualy and act against your own emotions. The only way to congruently express your emotions, is t be honest with yourself. Learn to be honest with yourself first and know that it's okay to be honest with yourself and with others. That's all I gotta say. Good luck.


- Nelson

Author:  DeadlyForce [ Sun Jul 31, 2011 5:23 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Hey Deadly,

Here is my answer to your question. Emotions are real. They're not fake. You can't pretend to be happy if you're not truly happy. It will show through your voice, your body language, and through anything that you're trying to convey. The only way to express your emotions with congruency is that you have to learn how to face your emotions. What I mean is you experience it and then acknowledge and then do something with it. If you're happy embrace it. If you're sad, face the things that make you sad. If you're scared, know that you're scared and do something with your fears, don't hide or cover it up. Be a man and don't be afraid of your own emotions. Majority of the time, the reason why you're not congruent with your emotions is because you're either concealing it or you're pretending to do the things that your heart is telling you not to. It's like your brain is telling you to do this, but your gut feeling is like dude, it's not right, it's not right, but in your mind, you're logically trying to justify and analyze things. Over time, this becomes a habit, and whenever your emotions come up, you will shut them out habitually and act against your own emotions. The only way to congruently express your emotions, is t be honest with yourself. Learn to be honest with yourself first and know that it's okay to be honest with yourself and with others. That's all I gotta say. Good luck.


- Nelson
I read what you wrote really carefully and I knew this all along but my mind kept these thoughts away from me. Now that you brought it up my mind can't keep these thoughts away. Appreciate it a lot. Every word is true of what you said and truth does sometimes hurt but if one can embrace it and edit it, it can become a treasure. I guess my problem is as you said I'm afraid of truth. I will from now on start working on adjusting my actions to my wants and not the other way around. Again I am really really thankful for your answer! If you need anything contact me I would be glad to help you out with anything.

- Deadly -

Author:  nnguy625 [ Sun Jul 31, 2011 10:23 pm ]
Post subject: 

Anytime Deadly, if you have any questions or any struggles don't hesitate to hit me up either. If I can't even provide you answers myself, then I'll look for other sources or ask my mentors. Good luck dude.


- Nelson

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