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| My Problem with Natural Game https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=135&t=91720 |
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| Author: | Samurai209 [ Mon May 16, 2011 12:25 pm ] |
| Post subject: | My Problem with Natural Game |
Well, lets start with a bit of history. Back in the day before I started to look into the community, I used to do alright for myself. Im sure part of what I was doing was natural game, I was smooth, I got the girls making a move on me, and I know plenty of others were attracted to me. To be honest though, I had no idea what I was doing and it was somewhat hit and miss. So I started looking into the game, working on how I interacted with women, working out what I was doing right and what I was doing wrong. I feel like Ive taken a wrong turn though, and now I'm not having as much success as I did previously. In learning what I was doing right and what I was doing wrong, and there was plenty I was doing wrong, I feel like Ive started thinking about what I say too much, and loosing that smooth attitude which was my main asset. I may even be coming off as a bit try hard. Im sure there are a number of you out there that has experienced this hurdle, but is the only cure practice? Thanks in advance people. |
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| Author: | LyricalDream [ Mon May 16, 2011 2:28 pm ] |
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It's really simple actually, you're not in the moment for pick up. The difference between being a natural and a 'natural' is that when you try being the first - you focuss too much on your actions & words and therefor will land in the second category. Don't focus on doing pick up, learn to be sexual and state your desire.. then go out, have fun and your sexual activity will follow as it used to be. Have fun! ≠ LD |
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| Author: | poeticlyskuac [ Mon May 16, 2011 6:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: My Problem with Natural Game |
Quote: Well, lets start with a bit of history. Back in the day before I started to look into the community, I used to do alright for myself. Im sure part of what I was doing was natural game, I was smooth, I got the girls making a move on me, and I know plenty of others were attracted to me.
I think that just like everything else, things get much worse then get a lot better. When a new "Clean Up Man" comes into companies to repair them he always has to destroy thing and then slowly but steadily build them until they eventually get a lot better.To be honest though, I had no idea what I was doing and it was somewhat hit and miss. So I started looking into the game, working on how I interacted with women, working out what I was doing right and what I was doing wrong. I feel like Ive taken a wrong turn though, and now I'm not having as much success as I did previously. In learning what I was doing right and what I was doing wrong, and there was plenty I was doing wrong, I feel like Ive started thinking about what I say too much, and loosing that smooth attitude which was my main asset. I may even be coming off as a bit try hard. Im sure there are a number of you out there that has experienced this hurdle, but is the only cure practice? Thanks in advance people. I use to be decent with girls, things were hit or miss. Quite a few were attracted to me but I had no clue. I didn't know what I was doing wrong, more importantly I didn't know what to do right. So I had to learn what I was already doing right, through much thought and studying, then I expanded that behavior to include more things I could do "right". I started to realize my obnoxious behaviors that needed more improvement. Now I am better with girls then ever(not that I'm as close to as good as any of those MPUAs), things do become natural. You start chatting and you just start to use your tools more efficiently and subconsciously. Now I can read body language with very little effort, this was my downfall to start, so now I see all the looks I get. I know when to stop in a conversation, when to steer it, when to let it flow(my preference), and when to escalate. It's like with sports, you don't pay attention to every little mechanic you do when you pitch, swing your golf club, or shoot pool, the running back doesn't consciously think to go through the hole. Everything is about practice and programming so that you can use the information you've gained more efficiently, this isn't just in pick up this is in everything. Just keep at it, one thing I will say is just because you gain new information doesn't mean you have to use it immediately(though it helps testing it). Don't overfill yourself on info to the point where the mind can't use it correctly or at all. That is what initially happens, you learn all this new stuff and want to use it, so you do but you have to CONSCIOUSLY use it meaning think about it still. After a bit just like everything it will be easy as pie and natural as well. My recommendation would be to go out and be you, have fun. Talk to people, be who you are. Then come home and review your behavior, figure out where you did well and which behaviors you should keep, and then figure out which behaviors are limiting you and start to improve them steadily (don't try and fix every problem at once, it will be highly unlikely to work out). Another thing is make sure to take an honest look at yourself, and be brutally honest with yourself. The world won't change for you, you however have the power to change yourself for the world. Modify what you can and that is your own behaviors. |
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| Author: | kinorc [ Mon May 16, 2011 9:28 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Don't worry about playing well...just play well. What I mean is don't think about walking upright, or what to say next, or if you are being sexual enough. Just walk upright, keep yourself sexual and let it flow. Natural game requires nothing more than being sexual and making it happen. Like I just make sexual jokes n turn ish into around to the fact that me n my target are going to hook up. Like by me talking and flirting I've decided to fuck her, she's coming along for the ride. She is not deciding shit. If you are already presenting it as u r going to hook up, like she already decided she was going to hook up with u. The only thing u have to watch is shit test. When u have a strong sexual frame it is so rare to alot of girls they need to make sure. If she says blah blah u say 'we can talk about that while ur cooking breakfast tommorow morning' she might respond with 'who said im going to your house n cooking for u' to which us say 'well if u can't cook maybe we should stop talking now and then wink and laugh. Also, when she is shit testing u, n u can tell she's into u, if played right u can make it a lil game. U push her, she has to make sure u deserve being there, u prove u r, n keep going. Remember it isn't about thinking about game, its about gaming. The best shit I say just comes out when im sexually charged n just working her in the moment. I like never get killed during lmr, I just say some shit, tie it into really living life, then go. I guess the old adage can be try tho "fake it til u make it"...soon it will just be natural to be natural lol |
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| Author: | Blind_Oh!_bed_ience [ Thu May 19, 2011 12:45 pm ] |
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How are you Samurai209 My answer is to try frame switching “I feel like Ive started thinking about what I say too much, and loosing that smooth attitude which was my main asset. I may even be coming off as a bit try hard.” What you have written suggests your mind has become a place of conflict which can lead to anxiety. What was once unconscious behaviour is suddenly salient and complex. This is because studying the philosophies of the game conflict with yours and most other “players” natural behaviour. It sounds like your behaviour matches your attitude towards the game “In learning what I was doing right and what I was doing wrong, and there was plenty I was doing wrong,” so your not experiencing dissonance however, your mind is filled with pua rules and heuristics to follow. The unpredictable nature of pu situations means sometimes we have to respond creatively to ambiguous behaviour under pressure. People who restrict themselves to using conventions (like a pua routine) desire firm answers and dislike ambiguities- with or without pressure they can’t perform creatively especially with an unconditioned stimulus. Either your cognitive complexity has caused you to feel this anxiety or vice versa. It’s actually a good thing that your thoughts are complex. People that are cognitively complex perform well on creative tasks, but not under time pressure. When under time pressure they will revert back to conventions. Maybe you could adopt this strategy and use a short script that can get you out of typical awkward moments and then return to your original mind frame? |
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| Author: | afc_gone [ Fri May 20, 2011 7:48 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I had the same problem. When you read too much, you're confused. When I started, I taught it was all about routines. Later I found out that the only thing I was having trouble with was confort and small talk (two of wich were very corelated problems). So basicly before getting back on the right track I was thinking too much. How did I get back on track? I just tried to understand David X's two rules as best as I could and tried to absorb what he has to say. And I tried to get the "delusional sense of coolness" the best I could. Basicly what I got out of that, was a more charismatic personalty. Just look up David X and his two rules and ways to approach. It's super easy. |
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| Author: | Plays Upfront [ Tue May 24, 2011 8:50 am ] |
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Practice, practice, practice. If you think you're getting nervous or trying too hard to impress women then go out and meet more women, even those not your type. Try to get comfortable talking to strangers and it will help you get your mojo back. Soon enough, it will come out naturally and success comes next. good luck! |
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| Author: | Lodewijkp [ Tue May 24, 2011 11:58 am ] |
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i got the same problems .. before i was able to get girls attracted in matters of seconds and now i've changed and keep changing my whole game i can really sense it's less effective right now. but i know when i mastered the new concepts i can do things i didn't do before. Quote: Unconscious Incompetence
Conscious Incompetence Conscious Competence Unconscious Competence |
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| Author: | cedius [ Wed May 25, 2011 5:22 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Good stuff on here...my response..."fail...and fail fast". I finally understand what that means, especially after this last month...it's been epic for me and after taking chances and having some not go so well, I see things clearer and I can't remember who said that...I think it was Braddock (fail...and fail fast)...anyways...I get it now. You learn from your failures, but you will only fail if you try...if you don't try...then you have nothing to base your experience of off and you'll never grow. |
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